Friday, March 21, 2014

Fly On The Wall In Nutsville

     Welcome to another crazy edition of Fly On The Wall group postings, hosted by Karen of Baking In A Tornado.  14 brave bloggers are inviting you into their homes today for a sneak peek into their private lives. Come buzz around my home (a.k.a Nutsville) to eavesdrop on my family weirdness. Beware: your ears might be burning after you read some of our conversations.
     If you were a fly on the wall in my house this month, this is what you would have heard:


"You're an emotional hurricane leaving a trail of Nutella jars and empty wine bottles in your wake."

"I'm not sure that steak-on-a-stick you ate at the festival was really a steak."
"You're right. It tasted more like German-Shepherd-on-a-stick."

"The world just gave me protein. I swallowed a large bug while I was out riding my bike."

"Oh look! The dog is dragging her butt across the carpet. If she picks up enough dust particles, I won't have to vacuum. She's a pug butt Swifter."

"Hangover is such a harsh word. Let's just say I have the wine flu."

" I wanted a poop supporter, not a fecal friend."

"I'm so full from your cooking that I can't find my navel anymore. I think my stomach has grown a worm hole."

"There is nothing more awkward than having to hold hands and 'partner up' with a sweaty stranger in Zumba class."

"I'm not doing this upcoming road trip unless the doctor doubles up on my meds."
"Oh great, that's all I need----a wife in La La Land flirting with dementia."

"His snoring is driving me crazy. He sounds like truffle-sniffing pig when he sleeps."

"I'm not listening to you. I've retreated into my blogger bubble."

"You would have made a good pirate."
"Why? Because of my thirst for rum?"
"No---because of the grunting noises you make when you eat meat….and the fact that you haven't showered in three days."

"There's just something wrong with a dog who licks his genitals, then turns around to lick your face."

"I think it's time to go shopping. My underwear drawer looks like it has been ravaged by moths."

"There's a fine line between my love for food and not wanting to get fat….but sometimes that line gets blurred."

"My liver better hurry up and regenerate because I've been drinking a lot lately."
"Sprinkle Miracle Grow on it. Better yet, start a liver harvesting farm: cornfed and hormone free."
"If I didn't know any better, I'd swear your mother dropped you on your head when you were born."

   
You heard it here first, folks. It's official. I'm living in Nutsville and there's no escape. Got a jar of Nutella you can spare?



***Other places you can find Menopausal Mother this week: Got writer's block? Read: http://humoroutcasts.com/2014/pigs-poodles-and-possums/ Are you a Facebook fossil? Read: http://humorwriters.org/2014/03/15/facebook-fossil/   Check out my interview with Kathy Radigan of My Dishwasher's Possessed at: http://mydishwasherspossessed.com/2014/03/marcia-kester-doyle-menopausal-mother-getting-possessed-kathy-dishwasher/

For more laughter, please visit all the bloggers participating in today's Fly On The Wall group posting!

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                          Baking In A Tornado
http://www.therowdybaker.com                                  The Rowdy Baker
http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                                Just A Little Nutty
http://themomisodes.com                                          The Momisodes
http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade
http://thesadderbutwisergirl.com                                   The Sadder But Wiser Girl
http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home . . .
http://stacysewsandschools.wordpress.com/                Stacy Sews and Schools
http://dinoheromommy.com/                                      Dinosaur Superhero Mommy
http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                          Someone Else’s Genius
http://www.menopausalmom.com/                               Menopausal Mother
http://www.pinkheartstring.com                                     Pink Heart String
http://spinstersnacks.com                                              Spinster Snacks
http://www.juiceboxconfession.com                                 Juicebox Confession

50 comments:

  1. LOL!! OMG the crap you guys say is freaking hysterical! I may have to start paying more attention to the things hubby and I say and write them down. We have been known to have a few doozies around here, usually related to farts, pooping and other juvenile humor.

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  2. That emotional hurricane leaving all those same things in it's wake could just as easily be used to describe me. Maybe I should change my name to Baking in an Emotional Hurricane.

    Thanks for the diet. I'll never eat steak-on-a-stick again. Gross.

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    Replies
    1. Hahahahaha clever new blog name. Yeah---that steak WAS gross!

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  3. I was either shaking my head in disbelief or spitting coffee. That's a good sign, right?
    And for the record, your pug is so cute I could forgive the genital scented kisses. Well, as long as my mouth was firmly closed.

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    Replies
    1. It's even worse when he eats his own poops and THEN tries to lick your face. RUN!!!!!!

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  4. I really need to move in with you! I adore your family. I love the "Wine Flu".

    I need an address to send you that Nutella! Can you send me Boars Head Honey Mustard?

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    Replies
    1. Hehehehehe that was a fun conversation we had, wasn't it? You need to come visit me so we can make a trip to Publix and get those subs!

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  5. HILARIOUS as always!!!!
    Wine flu!!! So great!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I tend to get that kind of flu a little too often….

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  6. You KNOW I have a dog swifter too. LOL
    I would have lived well with the pirates. Can I call hangovers Rum-flu?
    I love the pic of your man and his stomach. You guys always make me smile. :)

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    Replies
    1. Of course you can call it rum flu, and then you would fit in nicely with the pirates! Thanks for stopping by, Michele---I'm always so happy to see you here <3

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  7. OMGosh I must remember to pee before reading your post! Or wear depends.
    Nutella and wine bottles, had me LOL for a while!
    Spatulas On Parade

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love both of those things….seriously.

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  8. I live in horror of someone eavesdropping on similar dialogue at my house!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good to know I'm not the only one who has these weird conversations!

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  9. You have a truffle-sniffing pig, too? Though sometimes he sounds like an Air Force jet taking off from the base.

    I hope the Wine Flu isn't contagious!

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  10. Thank you for making me laugh this morning................

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  11. Replies
    1. Happens more often here than it should…..

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  12. LOL!!!every conversation is hilarious and your post made my day..had a good laugh to start the day..thanks for sharing..

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    Replies
    1. Glad I could start your day off with a smile! Thank you!

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  13. The pictures that go with the quips are hilarious too!! The deadpan look your daughter's giving you... a dead ringer for the one my daughter gives me. ;) I love the last one, that's fun that you guys got dressed up to celebrate. :)

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    Replies
    1. We love to dress up for the ren-fest---always a blast. Oh yes, my daughter gives me that look frequently…...

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  14. Hi Marcia! It's been a while since I stopped by. I'm sorry for that. But I needed a chuckle this morning and figured I could get one here. I was right. Thanks for that. :)

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    Replies
    1. Wow! I'm honored, Jon. Haven't seen you here in ages. Wish you'd come around more often for some smiles. I appreciate you stopping by---come back again and I promise to keep that smile going.

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  15. "There's a fine line between my love for food and not wanting to get fat….but sometimes that line gets blurred."

    Ah -- a kindred spirit! I totally empathize with your dilemma!

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    Replies
    1. You bet! That line gets blurred way too often!

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  16. I've just noticed your resemblance to Barbara Eden. Is that a genie costume you're wearing? I think dogs have a completely different relationship to their tongues than bipedal mammals.

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    Replies
    1. LOL very true…as long as the pug isn't eating his poop and THEN trying to lick my face, I'm fine. I guess that photo does kinda look like a genie in a bottle, huh? It's actually a renaissance costume---I'm supposed to be "royalty" but I prefer channeling my inner genie.

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  17. I love the wife in 'La La Land, flirting with dementia' comment!

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  18. Ha... The 'Dog Swifter' line hits really close to home. Our Toby is 10 years old now and... well, we have a 'swifter' too.

    Enjoyed as usual, Slu :-)

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    Replies
    1. LOL isn't if funny how the do that, Slu? None of my earlier dogs ever did that but now it just cracks me up.

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  19. A pug butt swiffer? HAHAHA. Also, I think I'm growing a worm hole where my belly button used to be, too. I just didn't have a name for it until I came over here. I love your FOTW posts, Marcia. I so want to hang out at your house for my next vacation. Love it!

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    Replies
    1. PLEASE COME VISIT ME!!!!! OMG can you imagine the blog posts we'd get out of that visit?

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  20. Marcia you and your family crack me up... I always get a laugh with these posts... I especially loved this one:

    "I'm not doing this upcoming road trip unless the doctor doubles up on my meds."
    "Oh great, that's all I need----a wife in La La Land flirting with dementia."

    I am late to the game... I have been so busy the past couple of days :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad I could bring a little laughter to your day!

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  21. **You're an emotional hurricane leaving a trail of Nutella jars and empty wine bottles in your wake.**

    S U P E R B !!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you!!!! And….this really is a good description of the REAL me…..

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  22. I love you and your family. You know that. Don't ever stop being the wonderful, unique people that you are. :-)

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Sarah! I love the craziness too and hope it will always be like this!

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  23. My family is Nut(s)ella too! A different kind of crazy, perhaps. If I ever get the chance to meet you in person, I'll bring you a jar of Nutella (I'd share mine, but I eat directly out of the jar).

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    Replies
    1. Yummy! Hey, I do the same---right out of the jar with a spoon!

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  24. "Wine flu"!!! I love it!!!

    Hey Marcia, did you get your medieval headpiece from The Black Prince (who, years ago at least, was based in Georgia)? I think his real name is Manny Lieberman. if so, i've got like three or four headpieces from him from my belly dancing days.

    Hmmm...exactly how would you know what a truffle-sniffing pig sounds like when it sleeps, Marcia? Okay, you know what? Never mind. I don't want to know. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I actually bought the head piece from the renaissance festival a few years ago, and then my mother sewed the mesh draping on it. As far as the truffle-sniffing pug goes…..you don't wanna know….

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  25. It's a tad bit alarming that I relate to so many of these! *stares longingly into her empty nutella jar*

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    Replies
    1. How did I know that we were kindred Nutella spirits all along?

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