Fly On The Wall In Weirdsville

Friday, September 19, 2014

Fly On The Wall In Weirdsville

Welcome to another edition of the Fly On The Wall group posts. Today, 14 brave bloggers are inviting you into their homes for a glimpse of what you'd see if you were a fly on the wall.

This month, the fly has seen our family dip from a hokey ghost tour downtown and cut loose on the dance floor at an island party. The usual chaos reigned at the Doyle abode with a toddler, a teenager, eight pets and three adults in the house. I'm still yelling at the computer screen while editing my book and feeding my anxiety with Hershey's Kisses.

If you were a curious fly at my house this month, this is what you would have heard:

"You're not going through menopause. It's more like MENTALpause."

"We have weevils in the pantry. We need to throw out all the pasta and rice."
"What about the bag of ground coffee?"
"Unless you see hyper weevils, I think it's safe to keep."

"Seesaws are the reason I have trust issues."

"Our granddaughter's toddler bike has no training wheels. And no pedals."

"That's because it's a Fred Flintstone bike."

"I'm so A.D.D. that if my penis wasn't attached, I'd probably lose it."

"While I was a the clinic today for knee pain, I think the doctor slipped a chip in my leg."

"In your case, that would have been a potato chip. The trans fats have gone to your brain and made you dumber."

"I've been unemployed for six months now. No one is going to hire me because of my age, so I've decided to start an alpaca farm. I'm going to use their milk to make alpaca cheese."

"I know what I'm getting you for your next birthday since you always have to pee when we go out."
"A traveling bathroom?"
"Even better---a catheter that has its own collection bag."

"That's fine---as long as you promise to change the bag for me."

"I have a new theme song our granddaughter. It's called, 'Don't Whine For me Argentina.'"

"Dad, are you making eggs again for us this morning?"
"I hate to be hard boiled about it, but NO, I am NOT making eggs. Today, we eat cereal."
"The Egg King has spoken."

"You're not constipated---you're hoarding your poop!"

"I'm starving. When will dinner be ready?"
"You can help out by setting the table and then I can dish up the food."
"Thou preparest a table before me."
"Who are you? Jesus?"

"This ghost tour is silly. The only spirits these dowsing rods are going to lead us to are Rum, Vodka and Tequila."

Want more Meno Mama? This week I'm featured on Lefty Pop which you can read here: http://www.leftypop.com/2014/09/17/growing-up-70s/ and also over at Humor Outcasts where I'm looking for my lost period. You can read it here: http://humoroutcasts.com/2014/who-stole-my-period/

Buzz around, see what you think, then click on these links for a peek into some other homes:

http://www.BakingInATornado.com Baking In A Tornado

http://www.therowdybaker.com The Rowdy Baker

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/ Just A Little Nutty

http://themomisodes.com The Momisodes

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/ Spatulas on Parade

http://thesadderbutwisergirl.com The Sadder But Wiser Girl

http://followmehome.shellybean.com Follow me home . . .

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/ Stacy Sews and Schools

http://www.menopausalmom.com/ Menopausal Mother

http://www.gomamao.com Go Momma O

http://dinoheromommy.com/ Dinosaur Superhero Mommy