1. Sexy CPAP options (the new "zoo line" masks come in zebra print or leopard spot to make bedtime more interesting).
2. Diet pills that claim you can eat like a Viking and still maintain a beach-ready, bikini body (what size is the bikini?).
3. Toenail fungus removal (complete with an amputation kit).4. Cheap car insurance (by the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Auto Insurance Company).
5. Divorce attorneys (who also moonlight for Ashley Madison).
6. Inexpensive laser hair removal (yes, you too, can look like a plucked chicken!).
7. Miracle pills for breast enhancement (ever notice there's nothing for a breast reductions?).8. An invitation to join a single seniors dating website for naughty fun (bringing sexy back with designer, leak-proof undergarments and crotchless support hose).
9. Miracle hearing aids guaranteed to improve hearing (in other words, your husband no longer has an excuse to tune you out).
10. Testosterone boosters ( in case you need your erection to last longer than eight hours. What kind of beast are you??).
11. Cremation burial services (why is this ad sponsored by a premium garden mulch company?).12. Bladder solutions for an overactive bladder (the kit includes a free bottle of Super Glue).
13. Got flatulence? Try the new FLATU-CORK (12 adjustable corks to stop up your gas before you stink up a room).
14. A message from clairvoyant John: "IMPORTANT, PLEASE OPEN" ( there's a computer virus in your future).
Want any of these terrific deals? Just open up your SPAM folder. I'll bet it's brimming with marriage proposals from India and buy-one-get-one-free deals on plastic surgery!
***WANT MORE MENO MAMA? I have a crazy, funny NEW post up this week on Purple Clover! Check out "The Queen of Bad Teeth" : http://www.purpleclover.com/health/6181--queen-bad-teeth/
I also had a post featured on The Good Men Project---"10 Things I Never Imagined I Needed To Say To My Teen Son" http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/10-things-never-imagined-needed-say-teen-son-jrmk/
We must think just alike! I was going to do a post on some of my SPAM! It's horrible. Lots of stuff to many tiny penises bigger. Why do I need this? I don't need to even see this!
ReplyDeleteHa-ha! Of course you and I think alike. We're pug people!
DeleteI get all the offers from the sexy women who want big guy. I keep telling my husband that I'm getting his email.
ReplyDeleteOMG that's hilarious! My husband's SPAM folder is even worse than mine!
DeleteMy favorite spam is the "why haven't you paid my invoice"- with a zip file inside. Like my invoice is SO large it needs to be zipped shut.
ReplyDeleteHa-Ha! I always get a kick out of reading all the junk I receive. So much of it doesn't even make sense!
DeleteToo funny.What a great way to see the lighter side of this annoying spam.
ReplyDeleteGotta keep a sense of humor, right?
DeleteMy hubby wants me to start accepting the marriage proposals to get the dowries. He may be on to something.
ReplyDeleteHey, I never thought of that....
DeleteNaughty senior fun? I need to start looking at my spam more closely I think!
ReplyDeleteI get those all the time!!
DeleteOh so it's not just me? THANK GAWD! Sometimes I think I'm the only person in the universe with "send junk here" as my email address.
ReplyDeleteI swear I get all of it!
DeleteThanks for the reminder. I have to clean out my spam. I like the fake comments in my blog spam filter----many of them in foreign languages----"Seriously, you didn't think anyone would notice".
ReplyDeleteOr the names of the people---all weird names I certainly can't pronounce!
DeleteA lesson to me. Stop deleting without reading. So much fun missed . . .
ReplyDeleteIt's like reading the comics every day!
DeleteMy über favourites: no 3 and 10. I hope they provide a good lubricant with it though:) Hilarious as usual! Happy Easter to you guys! xx Abby
ReplyDeleteI think at least half of my SPAM is for testosterone boosters. Maybe they know something that I don't....
DeleteI rarely read my spam... now that you've written this, I will have to look at it once and a while to get a good laugh.. xox
ReplyDeleteI hope your mom is feeling better and thank you so much for dropping by my blog, I appreciate you taking the time Marcia xox
Mom is doing much better! Thank you for asking. And yes, you can get a daily dose of laughter just by reading your SPAM
DeleteI want to eat like a Viking, wait, do they mean eat a lot or just the manners of a Viking? Thanks for the giggles. ;)
ReplyDeleteHow about both? Turkey leg, anyone?
DeleteI live in a house full of men, forward that FLATU-CORK one over to me, or I'm gonna need a hazmat mask.
ReplyDeleteHahahahahaha!!! I hear ya---it's always a dangerous thing when both my boys and husband are under the same roof simultaneously!
DeleteI've been getting lots of business proposals. Lots and lots of them. Along with the occasional ED spam, hysterical as I don't have the correct equipment to experience ED.
ReplyDeleteMe neither----so why do I keep getting these messages? Maybe they know something that I don't.
DeleteI read the spam for laughs, but I learned to never click on a site. It took three times and two computers,but i did learn.
ReplyDeleteHa! I only did that once when I was a newbie to computers. NEVER AGAIN!
DeleteI open my spam folder every day to find someone trying to sell me a formula for penile enhancement. How do they know I need this? Who's been talking about me behind my back?
ReplyDeleteYou're too funny!!!
DeleteWhat the heck is the sudden obsession with toenail fungus? OK, I get it, it's gross, but all of the sudden the commercials are everywhere! It's like the ED commercials - I know you gotta deal with it, but I don't need to see that all over TV!
ReplyDeleteI still think the catheter kits are the grossest....
DeleteSo so funny! Um, wouldn't the flatu-cork go like flying out???
ReplyDeleteI thought about that and was going to compare it to popping like a champagne bottle, but I figured I was already graphic enough....
DeleteHaaHAaaa.
ReplyDeleteSo Annoying!
I despise spam.
It's as if these horrid people know my most intimate secrets!! xxx
They know us all too well......
DeleteHilarious! Thanks for the laugh. I thought about messing with my SPAM regarding, "Hot sexy Russian woman want to be wife". Either I'll wind up with one, or the NSA knocking on my door. LOL!
ReplyDeleteRight??? Not to mention the virus you'll get by opening one of those emails!
DeleteOh, those spams. Even on my blog I still get them. Will they ever end though? Don't think so. This has been fun to read. :)
ReplyDeleteBOGO plastic surgery, lol. Down here in Palm Beach, that'd probably be a huge hit!
ReplyDeletehaha nice one!but did you know why older men prefer younger women?read my article to find out why https://kovla.com/blog/why-russian-brides-prefer-much-older-husbands/ enjoy!
ReplyDelete