Menopausal Mother

     Welcome to another edition of Fly On The Wall group postings, hosted by Karen of Baking In A Tornado. Today, six bloggers are welcoming you into their homes for a sneak peek at life behind closed doors.

     Both my husband and I have insomnia issues from time to time. If truth be told, only ONE of us has insomnia issues and likes to keep the other person awake so that we can be miserable together. From these late night conversations come the weirdest conversations, which is the reason I always keep a pen and paper beside my bed (yes, I still do it the old fashioned way, instead of using the note pad on my cell phone). Here is a small glimpse of the oddball stuff we discuss in the wee hours of the morning when NORMAL people are fast asleep:


"It's hard to sleep anymore with my inflammation issues."
"Well, there is one surefire cure----it's called, 'cutting off your limbs'."

"Is it really necessary to keep ten different flashlights in your nightstand drawer?"
"I like flashlights."
"You've become a flashlight aficionado---you collect them like people in the 1970's collected Hummel figurines."


"Our pug needs to go on a diet. She's starting to look like a tator tot."

"I can't believe we both have this miserable head cold."
"Yes---our dueling coughs at bedtime are the new mating call."


"I'm not eating that 15 grain bread for breakfast tomorrow because it's going to turn into 15 grain poop once I'm done."

"I saw online that there weren't very many reviews listed for that doctor you want to see. They were all pretty mediocre, but there was one five-star review."
"Yeah, and that was probably from his wife. "

"Eating that dry, low-cal salad for lunch today was like eating a bowl full of tumbleweeds."

"Tomorrow morning, I refuse to clean out that nasty sink drain---it's the portal to hell."

"I know you're trying to be romantic, but don't bother sliding your hands down the back of my pajama pants while I'm sweaty---I  have sticky buns."

"If we ever run out of lubricants, we can always improvise with cooking spray to give you a non-stick va----"
"STOP IT RIGHT THERE."

"I hate it when you have insomnia and stay up late to watch TV, because I know I'm going to find some new charges on the credit card for stupid stuff like Elvis plates---the "King Special"---or crocheted squirrel afghans."

"Yes, we're getting older, but you're still quite handsome for your age."
"Yeah, nothing like being a babe magnet at the senior citizens' center."

     TURN OFF THE LIGHTS AND GO TO SLEEP, FOR GOD'S SAKE.

***WANT MORE MENO MAMA? This week I was featured in Humor Outcasts with a fun Valentine's Day post. You can read it here: https://humoroutcasts.com/2018/gifts-not-to-get-for-your-sweetheart-on-valentines-day/