Menopausal Mother

     Welcome to another edition of Fly On The Wall group blog postings, hosted by Karen of Baking in A Tornado. Today, five bloggers are brave enough to invite you into their homes for a sneak peek at what goes on behind closed doors.

     At the Doyle house, we're still recovering from "Distended Belly Syndrome" caused by all the Thanksgiving food we consumed yesterday. I've always said my family eats like vikings, and last night's meal was proof of that. Who can say no to 8 pies, 2 turkeys, 3 different homemade breads, and  5 ridiculously good side dishes?? And don't even get me started on the appetizers. I'm actually looking forward to starting a new diet on Monday! JUST SAY NO TO CHEESE.

     As always, there have been some weird conversations floating around the house (what else is new??). If you were a fly in the wall at my house, here's a few things you might have heard:

"Hey look---it's a landscape worker channeling his inner triceratops."


"Studies show that cats have better hearing than dogs."
"Well, they sure don't act like it."

"You haven't been watering the flowers outside. They're all dead."
"That's because I'm growing zombie flowers."

"Why is it that every time you sweat heavily with a t-shirt on, it leaves wet stains on the fabric in the shape of a smiley face?"
"I don't know; I guess I'm just one giant, human emoji."

"I've been researching homeopathic remedies to relieve my carpal tunnel."
"I can save you the time. It's called, 'Get a Hacksaw'."

"I need something to stop my constipation. All I can do is poop pebbles."
"Yes, and Bam Bam is soon to follow."

"I don't know what's in it, but maybe I should order the mystery box for dinner."
"I have a mystery box that I can show you...." <wink wink>


"This bathroom stall is so tiny---you have to be a contortionist just to be able to turn around and wipe your backside."

"Why is it taking them so long to bring me the Cuban sandwich I ordered? Did they have to go to Cuba to get it?"

 "I've been a Baptist, a Methodist, a Lutheran, and now a Presbyterian."
"That means that you're a sampler platter of religion."

"One of the side effects of this medicine is tarry stools."
"That sounds like a name for a British rock band....."

     Hope everyone had a lovely holiday. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to gnawing on my turkey leg and washing it down with some mashed potatoes. That diet might start sooner than I thought....


***WANT MORE MENO MAMA? I was recently featured in MomCave TV discussing teens and the funny lies we as parents believe. You can read it here:  https://www.momcavetv.com/lies-parents-of-teens-tell-themselves/?fbclid=IwAR1FDie_VA471Snx5u4VXvivD2RikzvqgqVl0vlIBWGbFlI7E11xCJXPiLg