Friday, July 23, 2021

Fly On The Wall With A Dieting Hamster And A Peeing Log



 Welcome to the latest edition of Fly On The Wall group blog postings, hosted by Karen of Baking In A Tornado.  Today, three bloggers are bravely inviting you into their homes to see what goes on behind closed doors. 

The nosy fly has been witnessing my health journey as I try to get back to a reasonable weight for my age. Of course, I can never do anything by myself in this house, so the Hubs decided to hop on the diet train with me. I'm happy to report that I'm successfully losing pounds and inches, but let it be known that it is TOTALLY UNFAIR how easily men lose weight without much effort! I'm over here eating astronaut food while Hubs lost 10 pounds just by cutting out a few beers each week. I'm also drinking half my body weight in water daily (no, I am NOT going to tell you how much) and basically turning myself into a floating human raft, so you can imagine how many trips I take to the bathroom in a 24-hour span. Anyway....here are some snippets of conversation the fly overheard:
 



"Wow, I slept like a log last night."
"Not me---I had to get up to pee several times last night."
"So, you slept like a peeing log...."



"Holy moly, what was in that diet food? I'm so gassy!"
"Yeah, I know--I can hear you all the way from the other room. You sound like a motorboat cruising the living room."



"Did you hear about all that debris floating around in space? If it falls to earth, everyone is in danger!"
"More importantly, why hasn't NASA invented a giant Dyson Vacuum to suck up all the space trash?"



"That diet you're on seems to be working, however, it's making you super hyper---like a hamster."
"No need to worry until you see me running nonstop on a large wheel."



"This jacuzzi is way too hot! What temperature do you have it on?"
"The lobster setting."



"I love these diet-approved pickle spears. I could eat them all day!"
"Oh, you mean the Britney pickles?" 
"Huh?"
"Britney SPEARS....get it?"
"Another dumb Dad joke.....no wonder our kids moved out of the house early."



" I just stepped on the scale and I've lost another pound!"
"That's because you clipped your toenails last night."



I guess I need to keep clipping my toenails because there's still some weight that I need to shed. If you have any extra-large clippers, send them over. But please hide them from my husband---he doesn't need the extra weight loss advantage. 


***WANT MORE MENO MAMA? If you're interested in past life regression, check out my latest for The Doe HERE. Do you find terrifyingly large bugs cool? Then take a look at my latest article for Always Pets HERE. Or have fun reading about the cutest cats on the planet HERE. And if you want to know who the cutest dogs are, you can also read it HERE

Buzz around these links for a peek into some other homes:

 

Baking In A Tornado                  https://www.BakingInATornado.com

Menopausal Mother                   http://www.menopausalmom.com/

Wandering Web Designer      https://wanderingwebdesigner.com/blog

Never Ever Give Up Hope.        https://batteredhope.blogspot.com

14 comments:

  1. I hear you on the men's weight loss thing. When I had to change our diet due to Hubs' health, I stayed the same and he lost 10 pounds. NOT FAIR!

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  2. Ah, the water diet. As we float away- or, more clearly, fill up the toilet often.

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  3. What a fun blog post entry. You look glorious, by the way. Hampsters wheels, etc... you look fantastic.

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  4. Men suck as they often lose wewight easier then the hard working and trying women.............

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  5. Your headlines are seriously hilarious. I mean who could resist this piece

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  6. The pic of your little one who stole grandma's heart is one of the sweetest I've seen -- you must frame it!

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    Replies
    1. Isn't it sweet? My son has become an amazing first time daddy!

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  7. You're house is always so lively and fun! I see that the next generation is coming right along! Congratulations.

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    Replies
    1. Hopefully they will all inherit Mac's sense of humor!

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