Friday, March 8, 2013

Hangover 3: Bloggers Gone Wild

     This is my fourth time participating in the Secret Subject Swap with 15 brave bloggers, hosted by Karen @ http://www.bakinginatornado.com. My prompt question comes from the very talented writer Insomniac's Dream @ http://hypnoticbard.blogspot.com. Her prompt for me today is:  "You have a chance, money is not an object, to meet your favorite bloggers face to face. But you can only pick five..."
     I'll admit, this prompt was a tough one for me. Writing this was like pulling teeth from a piranha. It was IMPOSSIBLE for me to select just 5 of my favorite bloggers----I have more like 40, so I couldn't possibly name them all here. Instead, I have given out fictitious names for some fun ladies I know (yes, names have been changed to protect the innocent) and I would love nothing more than to meet these gals one day!
     This story is a hybrid between the movie Hangover and Laura Numeroff's children's book, "If You Give A Moose A Muffin" (but an adult version. Kids, leave the room). This is what I imagine MIGHT happen if I met my blogger friends face to face, and how we would spend an evening together. Contrary to belief, I was NOT drinking margaritas when I wrote this post!


     Once upon a time in a land far, far away, six female bloggers met for the first time at a swanky resort in South Beach. They spent a wild, raucous night on the town...most of which became a blur...until they woke the following morning to a most disturbing sight:

     The 1st woman had a tattoo of a large-horned rhino on her chest with the inscription, "I'm A Horny Beast!" She was also surprised to find multiple piercings in unmentionable places. Ouch!
     The 2nd woman woke with a shaved head. There was a small patch of stubble left in back with the words, "Blogger Bitch" neatly shaved across her scalp.
     The 3rd woman had two, black eyes and a thick bandage across her nose. An ostrich was pecking at her chocolate-covered feet.
     The 4th woman woke with her legs wound tightly around an anatomically correct Johnny Depp blowup doll.
     The 5th woman squirmed awake in a tight, hotdog costume with the words, "Life Is Good Between Your Buns" stitched across the backside.
     Last but not least, the 6th woman woke up next to a Lizard Man. Yes, as in reptile. With big muscles.
     Across the room, a pizza delivery man snored loudly on the floor. He was shirtless, with a pink tutu around his waist and a motorcycle helmet over his head. Beside him was a 6 foot, chocolate Easter bunny with both ears missing.

     ***Again, I was NOT drinking margaritas when I wrote this post. But the blogger ladies in this story were. ***

***       ***       ***   


     If you give a group of female bloggers too many margaritas, one will be reminded of an ex-boyfriend's sexy tattoo. She'll lead the others to a tattoo and piercing parlor, and convince her friend Lucy to get a tattoo.

     After getting a rhinoceros tattoo, Lucy will remember how much she loved the zoo when she was young. She'll hail a taxi with her friends and head to the Wild Kingdom Exhibit. Once inside, Lucy takes a swig of tequila from her flask and lassos an ostrich. Ride 'em, Cowgirl!
     After hijacking a zoo truck painted in camo and loading it with a few of their favorite, exotic animals, Kitty looks at the gorilla and is reminded that she needs a haircut. The six women stop at a 24 hour hair salon called, " Bruno The Barbarian: You brave it, we shave it!" Kitty is so proud of her recent blog award that she has Bruno The Barbarian shave off most of her hair, except for some stubble in back with the words, "Blogger Bitch" emblazoned on her scalp. Mitsy stares at this sight in wonder and is reminded of the freak show at the carnival. Luckily for the women, the Barnum And Bimbo carnival is still in town. It is only moments after they arrive that Mitsy becomes enthralled with the Lizard Man's forked tongue and invites him back to the hotel room for a cocktail. What woman wouldn't want a man with a long, double-edged tongue?

     Spotting a large, pirate boat on the carnival grounds,  Marla is reminded of how attracted she is to pirates, so she insists that her friends join her on a boat ride. While Kitty is tossing up her cookies over the railing, Marla flirts shamelessly with Captain Jack Sparrow's twin. She remembers those late night fantasies she once had about Johnny Depp, so she enters a ring toss game and wins a look-alike, blowup doll of Captain Jack.
     Rayna reminds the ladies that they haven't stopped at her favorite attraction at the carnival---The Fun House Of Mirrors. Rayna has already polished off the worm at the bottom of the tequila bottle and hallucinates that she is Alice chasing the rabbit down the rabbit hole. She sees the reflection of a giant, chocolate bunny and runs head first into a mirror, breaking her nose. The worm has convinced her that she feels no pain. But the thought of a chocolate bunny gives Rayna a sweet tooth. The girls stop at the corner candy store where a 6 foot, Chocolate Easter bunny is on display in the front window. The women charm the store clerk into selling them the decadent, chocolate rabbit and load it into the camo truck that Lizard Man is now driving.

     As the bloggers head back to the hotel, Suzy sees a hotdog vendor on the side of the road and is reminded that she hasn't eaten all day (unless the lime in the margarita glass counts). The vendor is wearing a full hotdog costume, which Suzy adores and begs him to sell to her in exchange for her Pandora bracelet.
     Once the women arrive back at the penthouse suite, their stomachs remind them that they need more than a hotdog and a 6 foot chocolate bunny to soak up all the alcohol they've had. They order a pizza and are delighted to discover that the Swedish delivery man looks a lot like Bradley Cooper. They drag him into the room and outfit him in a pink tutu and a red motorcycle helmet to make their own version of a  Harlem Shake video. After two more rounds of tequila shots, no one else is left standing.

     The moral of this story (take your pick)?

A.) Don't give bloggers booze
B.) This is how Meno Mama likes to party
C.) Don't eat the worm at the bottom of a tequila bottle or you'll end up with:
      a lizard in your bed
      "Blogger Bitch" on your head
      and a Swede named Sved.



     You can check out the 15 bloggers participating in today's swap here:


http://www.BakingInATornado.com                         
http://chewylicious.wordpress.com/                    
http://smn0409.blogspot.com/                
http://dinoheromommy.com/                   
http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                    
http://followmehome.shellybean.com            
http://lifeonthesonnyside.blogspot.com/               
dates2diapers2.blogspot.com                             
http://www.tinystepsmommy.com                      

105 comments:

  1. I wanna party with you!!! Is it a coincidence that I had a dream about Bradley Cooper last night?? True story.

    This post was FUN and oh, so hilarious! What a great way to start a Friday!!

    Penny

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    1. I was channeling Bradley Cooper to you....

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  2. Holy cow! Your creativity knows no bounds! I'm a preschool program coordinator by day, and I am a huge fan of Laura's books! This was so clever and fun! LOVED this!

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  3. Replies
    1. Ohhhh I think we know who THAT is. But yes, you are one of the ladies in there, my dear....

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  4. That was hilarious, MM!! Awesome...I'd love to join you for the pardy! Great post...I am still chuckling :D:D

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    1. Glad you liked it and you are welcome to come party with me anytime you want!! :-)

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  5. Remind me to NEVER party in real life with you!!! Cyber drinks only! ;) lol

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    1. C'mon Queen, you KNOW we'd have fun together. Who doesn't like a little bit of the Lizard Man every now and then.....

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  6. What do I have to do to get in on the fun. Whatever it is, I'll do it.

    You are truly amazing. I just love discovering new sides of you through your writing. I laughed through this whole piece and was left in awe of your creative imagination.

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    1. And a scary imagination it is!! I really wasn't sure about this Subject Swap but as long as you say you like it, I know I passed and am ready for the next one. Bring it on!! And btw--you are one of those lovely ladies in the story...hehehe...

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  7. Replies
    1. Then I am bringing you with me next time!!!!

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  8. Good God girl what a night. I keep singin' the song "Tequila" in my head. If I was with you, I would jump in that hot dog costume and be doggone happy. I have a giant costume fetish ya know.

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  9. Well, that sounds like a normal Tuesday! Haha. I can't decide if I'd be eating the chocolate bunny (of course I would) or straddling a plastic Johnny Depp. Hahaha. You had me at margarita and chocolate covered feet, darling :)

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    1. Hahaha, oh, you're in there alright...Mitsy.....

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  10. I am so glad it was YOU that got my prompt!! I <3 this so hard. I laughed until I snorted coffee all over my keyboard.

    I would totally drag my bloggy friends to The Artist's shop and get matching tattoos if they came to visit me.

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    1. Looks like we're all getting rhino tattoos, then.....

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  11. LOL, excellent response to a hard prompt.

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    1. Thank you!! I was really sweating this one out!

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  12. Yup. Seriously weird. But weird is good. And now I can't help wondering what it would be like to do it with a lizard man...is this wonderment part of menopause?

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    1. You betcha! Did you get a look at that tongue?!? Lol!

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  13. My head is spinning trying to keep up with your crazy. So funny. That was a difficult prompt, but you certainly rose to the challenge.

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    1. Trust me, my head was spinning while I was trying to write it!!

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  14. Okay when do we start the guessing game of who is who?!? i totally think i know Johnny girl and ketchup costume!!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. And I'll bet you guessed correctly! Thanks for coming by, Shana!

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  15. Time to shine! Share your favorite post of the week at Friday Flash Blog Hop with The Jenny Evolution! Visit http://www.thejennyevolution.com.

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  16. You tried to warn us all that this one was going to be weird. You weren't lying!!! But Marcia... It is altogether awesome also. As always your humor is spot on. And I love your imagination. I thought this post was great.

    What a way to have fun with a prompt. :)

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    1. Yup. I warned you. It just goes to show what a scary place my mind is. I'm glad you liked it--I thought for sure with this one you'd think I was walking a fine line between humor and insanity...but I think by now you've figured out how my brain is wired. Amazing that I haven't scared you off yet LOL! Thanks again for the support and encouragement, Jon! You always say the nicest things.

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  17. So much fun that I hhad to share this.

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    1. Awwww thank you so much, Jennifer! That means a lot to me!! XOXO

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  18. OMG this is a fabulous post, I LOVED IT. What a way to party with your blogger friends.

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    1. Want to join us? What happens with the bloggers STAYS with the bloggers....unless somebody blogs about it!

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  19. Being that I'm a rule breaker and if money wasn't an option, what the heck, I'd go for meeting all 109 of my blogging buddies. We could do all of the above and sista, that would be a party!

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  20. What a way to go MM. You sure do know how to have fun. Loved the post. If I had all the money in the world, I would ask you to host a Blog Party for everyone. It would be the best ever :) with everlasting memories.

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    1. I guarantee you'd have a good time with me and all my other blogger peeps! We'd make some crazy memories--but just how much of it would we remember?

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    2. We wouldn't remember any of it, but that's where the fun lies MM, as we would have to have another party, and another and another, as if each one was the first. It would go on forever ha ha ha.

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    3. RPD--that's the best kind, my friend!

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  21. Now there is a party, part of me would like to go... the other part is not sure of the tattoos, piercings and shaving.... lol

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    1. Well, there is always the Johnny Depp doll and the 6 ft. chocolate bunny...or Lizard Man.....

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  22. OMG, Marcia the Epic Partier!! Put me on your guest list!

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    1. Oh absolutely!! I just know that with you there it would get even wilder, if that was possible! Tequila jello shots, anyone?

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  23. I'm quite a wild one on a girl's night out. But after reading this, my wild nights out sound like a party at a home for the aged in comparison.
    I'm now off to become a nun and to shun society for ever more, such is my shame.

    I love the teaser at the beginning of this story, which served as a wonderful visual of the things to come. :)

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    1. Oh Lily, I think you would fit in very nicely with my group. Something tells me that a night on the town with you would be quite unforgettable... so I will be calling you for the next one!

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  24. Oh, I just love, love love this post....it brings back fond memories of day...not so very long ago! Life is WAY too short not to let one's imagination run wild and just have fun! A great end to a really stressful day, thank you so much! And please, put ME on your party invite list, too, ok? :) Have a fabulously awesome weekend!

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    1. Thanks, Cindy! I am so glad I could make your day a little brighter! Of course you are welcome to come party with me any time you want!

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  25. That was freaking funny!! you had me laughing at lizard man and his tongue.. You a dirty girl.. I likey!!
    xoxo

    -Ellen

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    1. Hahaha you are hilarious, my friend! I'm bringing you to ALL of my parties!!!

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  26. oh wow!! That would be some party!!! I like the whole alcohol and chocolate menu for sure!! And, Blogger Bitch would be such a cool award to get!!!

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    1. I know, right? I think we need to come up with a new award badge for that one!!

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  27. lol what a lovely post and you're totally right don't give bloggers booze...that'd be bad! lolol

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  28. Oh My God What crazy fun. Imagine if you used real bloggers? Or did you?

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    1. Maybe.....I just had to change the names to protect their innocence....

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  29. I love the way you write. You took this question and ran with it. Great post! Sending my weekend love--I don't often have a chance to bloghop during the week, so I really look forward to it on my Saturday mornings. Have a great week! I'm going to go check out your blog list above!

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    1. Best way I can think of to spend a Saturday....well, maybe a little tequila and a Lizard man would be nice....

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  30. I just noticed that I'm on your sidebar! I'm on your sidebar! You've made my blog-hopping morning! Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Of COURSE I have you on my blog roll because you are awesomesauce!

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  31. This was really funny! So creative! Found your blog from the Fun Friday Blog Hop : )

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  32. Only you could combine those two and have it come out so funny! I could totally picture the story in my head as I read it. :-) Now, if only Laura Numeroff and Felicia Bond would come and write and illustrate that story! Somehow I think it would only be available in adult bookstores! HA HA!

    Sorry I didn't get around to reading it until now. I seriously fell asleep so early last night I did nothing productive. I'm glad I waited until I could appreciate it! Good work. Now, on to my guest post... ;-)

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    1. I'm so excited about the guest post--took some more pics at Ren-Fest today in preparation for it!!!

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  33. B!!! I want to party with Meno Mama...

    But I'm thinking I better keep my "wits about me." Ha!!!

    Too much, enjoyed. Take care, Slu

    I also felt like I just watched Hangover 3...

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    1. That's awesome, because that is EXACTLY how I wanted you to feel--like you've been at the party but you're leaving without the actual hangover!!!

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  34. I loved this xx

    ide love if you checked my blog out x 1stepclosereveryday.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
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  36. Oh my goodness!! I laughed so hard! Found you on the Blog hop. I am now following you. Check me out @ www.feelingtheemptynest.com when you have the time. Loved it!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Thanks for the visit and the follow, Nicky. I'll be sure to check out your site!

      Delete
  37. Hi! New follower from the I Love My Online Friends GFC Hop, and I would love a follow back at http://www.bullocksbuzz.com.

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    1. Thanks for the visit and the follow, Alaina! I'll be sure to check out your site.

      Delete
  38. I read the moose/muffin book to my daughter every day! You have given me new perspective on it. I will enjoy it with renewed relish now!

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    1. I hope you will always think of me from now on......

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  39. What you just described is the reason I no longer drink tequila, aka to-kill-ya.

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    1. Perfect name for the lethal stuff. Oh, how well I know the trouble my over-indulgence of tequila has seen....

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  40. Lol, so funny. That sounds like a fun and hmmm, "interesting party". LOL

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    1. Very interesting indeed. Wanna come along with us next time?

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  41. Must be fun! And Bradley Cooper... he is my ultimate crush!
    I saw you at the hop social and I am your newest follower in GFC from http://inhighheelsanddogtags.blogspot.jp/. I look forward to seeing you over at my blog next :)

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    1. You certainly aren't alone in your crush on Bradley Cooper--a very handsome, talented man! Thank you for stopping by for the read and for following my blog. I'll be sure to check out you rite as well.

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  42. This is so hilarious, yet very creatively written. I wonder how you get all those crazy ideas from, I guess you must have humor embedded in you :)

    And btw, I read your poem in Jon's blog. I didn't know that you could write poems as well. It was a great poem with emotion very well weaved in it. Very well written, Marcia!

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    1. I do have humor embedded in me along with a little craziness! So glad you liked my collaboration with Jon--hopefully you'll be seeing more of that in the future!

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  43. What a great post! Following from The Stuff of Success via the GFC Blog Hop! Have a Terrific Day. Athena

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    1. Thanks for the visit and the follow, Athena!

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  44. hi meno mama!

    thanks for linking at the fun friday blog hop, hope to see you again!

    huggies♥
    rea

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    1. Always a pleasure to join that blog hop!

      Delete
  45. I'm trying to think about which of those bloggers would be me . . . . I'd like to think I wouldn't get a tattoo but in a "Hangover" situation I could imagine I'd do just about anything.

    :)

    Great post!

    (secretly, I'd have to say I wouldn't mind the Johnny Depp doll . . . and I'd be a totally sucker for a Bradely Cooper look alike - especially if he had pizza!)

    Janene @ More than Mommies

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    1. You and me both, Janene!!! I always did want a squirrel tattoo....

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  46. Thanks for being so awesome. And because your are so awesome, I have nominated you for a Liebster award! Check out the link for more details!! xoxo

    http://camomsworld.blogspot.com/2013/03/a-liebsterfor-me-you-shouldnt-have.html

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    1. You are so sweet! Thank you so much for this!!

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  47. HA! Hmmm who would I be?I would have a hard time picking just 5 too, so many cool people for so many different reasons...

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    1. Oh I just know if you were there the night would somehow end up even crazier...and then you would blog about it!! What happens with the bloggers, stays with the bloggers....

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    ReplyDelete
  49. Thank you so much for linking up with Friday Chaos.
    Be sure to come back again this week & let us know if you would like to co host

    Lotte xo
    http://www.bericebaby.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  50. Hey Hun! You showed up as #57. Someone must have been linking up at the same time. ;)

    Thanks for hopping by Thumping Thursdays. It was a pleasure to see you as always. :)

    ReplyDelete
  51. OMG! I have missed you! I am cracking up, while waiting for my bff to pick me up for bar night. (Scary thought now that I have read this. And no I will NOT be posting the new tattoo. lol) What a funny post as always. :)

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    1. Hope you didn't get too waaaysted with your BFF at the bar because you might wake up with a rhino tattoo!

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  52. Replies
    1. Now THERE'S a story I'd like to hear!!!

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