Monday, May 6, 2013

Teenage Trials And A Trophy

   
 I am honored today to receive a special award in the blogging community. This is a new one, designed by http://bakinginatornado.com and http://theblacksheepmom.blogspot.com. I was especially surprised and thrilled to receive this award twice---from Black Sheep Mom and Sarah over at http://themomisodes.com. The rules for the award are simple:

1) Display the trophy on your post.
2)  Write a short piece that starts with: I Didn't Kill____Today. It doesn't have to be a person; it can be an appliance, a business, or anything else you choose.  
3) Nominate a few people and let them know it's their turn to vent!


     I didn't kill my 17 year old today, despite the fact that he is driving me insane. He seems to think our house is the Holiday Inn and I am his personal maid.  On any given day, I find a dried-up, glued-on bowl of grits in his bedroom. You could use that crap for wallpaper paste. If I need to find him, all I have to do is follow the littered trail of empty, molding yogurt containers strewn throughout the house. Or I could sniff him out like a bloodhound by the rank smell of dirty socks and sneakers discarded haphazardly in every room.


     You can never fully open his bathroom door because of the week's worth of soiled laundry accumulating behind it. There's aways something dark and ominous lurking in the toilet bowl and yellow splash-back on the seat. I think he's marking his territory like a cat.
     He demolishes cereal, milk and granola bars like a starved grizzly bear, then leaves the empty cartons and boxes on the self to confuse us. I guess he thinks we have reached the age of dementia and won't notice. When we confront him, he denies eating anything. Unless there are mountain men living in my attic who sneak down to the kitchen and steal our food while we are sleeping, there's no one else to blame but him.


     Another thing that drives me to distraction is his unwillingness to change his bedsheets. He hasn't done it in so long, I'm certain a colony of dust mites are breeding there.
     Anything that isn't nailed down is fair game to our son, who will permanently "borrow" from us things like a hairbrush, cologne, deodorant, bandaids, shampoo, pens, headphones....He also "borrowed" his father's new bike and wrecked it four times.
     It never fails that when I'm trying to take a nap on the weekends, that's the precise moment he decides to conduct a rave in his room with laser lights and blasting techno music.


     Lately my boy has become a naturalist/survivalist. He has a collection of Kershaw and Boker knives, and recently bought a Bear Gryll fire starter. The problem is, we live in a metropolitan city. He doesn't need to be burning cotton balls in his bedroom or testing the sharpness of his knives on his expensive, Egyptian cotton sheets. Just this past week after 2 days of torrential rain and flooding, he could be found kayaking down a busy street or being pulled on a knee board by a golf cart at the flooded park. This kid must have nine lives.

     I still love my boy with all of my heart, and I'd do anything for him....just as long as he doesn't use our wood frame house as kindling for a camp fire....



     Here is a list of bloggers I'd like to pass the trophy to (the rules say a "few" but I'm known to be a rule breaker in these things, plus I'm anxious to see how these bloggers answer the question!).

http://sadderbutwiser.wordpress.com
http://eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com
http://keepinyouout.blogspot.com
http://www.justkeepinitrealfolks.com
http://trashyblog.com
http://dailydoseofdamn.blogspot.com
http://lisanewlin.com
http://smackofhampresents.blogspot.com
http://momrantsandcomfypants.wordpress.com
http://theincoherentramblingsofasingleparent.blogspot.com


***If you are a member of Blogher, could you do Meno Mama a big favor and please throw her some votes in the contest they are sponsoring? It ends May 15 and I could sure use your help! Just click on the 4 links below--those are my blog post entries. Next, just click on "vote" and you're done! Thank you for your love and support! XO

http://blogher.com/meet-my-son-cat-9-lives
http://blogher.com/box-1
http://blogher.com/i-need-what
http://blogher.com/how-annoy-your-childre

78 comments:

  1. I am truly honored!!! Thank you so much!!! Our boys must be twins 'cause my 17 year old leaves his granola bar wrappers everywhere his lazy ass sits, his laundry stays on the steps for weeks at a time until I threaten him with bodily harm, he doesn't know how to hang up a towel, and the penicillin I find growing in old mugs and bowls in his room could cure lots of diseases in third world countries.

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    1. Oh good, so you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about! When we moved the couch last week, I swear there were 30 granola bar wrappers underneath it. Guess he still hasn't figured out what a trash can is.....

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  2. Ick! He sounds like a pig.. reminds me of myself when I his age. LOL.. I love the pic of him kayaking. Congrats on your trophy, I think it was well deserved.

    xoxo

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    1. Thank you so much! I was so happy to see you received it as well! Love you lady! XO

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  3. Very funny post. Guess all teenagers are same.

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    1. It's funny--I have 4 kids--the first two were cut ally neat nicks. The came along the LAST two...total slobs..one boy, one girl. I guess there's no telling....

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  4. THANK YOU!! I'm so excited to write this award post! I'll have to start thinking on it today...

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    1. That's why I wanted you to have it--I just KNEW you would come up with something amazing!!!

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  5. Thanks so much!!! And now I know what I have to look forward to with teenage boys. Oldest turns 13 in under a month.

    And I'm excited about blogging on this! Where shall my Evil Focus fall today....let's see which one annoys me the most. Bawhahahahahaha!

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    1. I can't WAIT to see what you write! And oh yes...you have some fun years ahead of you with boys...but just think of all the great blog posts you'll get out of it!?

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  6. Replies
    1. Oh, thank you so much!!! That means a lot to me!! XO

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  7. LOL, great job showing how very much you deserve this Trophy.

    And you were welcome to award as many people as you wanted, we left the number open deliberately so you would feel free to choose whoever you thought might want to play and need to vent!

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    1. Excellent!! There are so many incredible bloggers out there--I wasn't sure how far i could go with this. Trust me, I could have easily picked ten more--but I figured I'd leave that up to these recipients to award them next.

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  8. Wow, thank you for the nomination - it's my first award so that's especially cool.

    My two youngsters are on the same path as your son - I was looking for something and made the mistake of searching under my six year old's bed. A team of archeologists could have a field day with that discovery.

    I'll have my short article up later in the week - I've already got one set to post to tomorrow so I'll take a few days to work on it.

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    1. From the moment I found your blog through Sarah, my first thought was, "How on EARTH have I not known about this guy??? Your blog seriously cracks me up. I have a feeling there will be a lot more awards in your future, John!

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  9. Big congrats on your trophy award! I can totally relate to the dried on foodstuff stuck to dishes found in teenaged sons' bedrooms!!! That used to drive me bonkers! Believe it or not, I miss those days--now that the boys both are grown and living out of state... T. http://tickledpinkwoman.blogspot.com

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    1. So true!!! My 3 older kids are grown and moved out of the nest...I really do miss them...but not the messes! Thanks for stopping by, Tina!

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  10. Excellent vent, Marcia. My son is only 15 and I'm seeing the beginnings of this. We could have fed the neighborhood with what I found under my son's bed last month! Ugh. The toilet, the laundry, the empty food containers; I get it all. It's a great thing we love them, right? <3

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    1. You're right---otherwise they wouldn't live past their toddler years! But yeah, that's the problem--he knows he has my heart!

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  11. As soon as I saw the word "Teenage" in your title, I said Yup, Marcia deserves this trophy! I have one of these sons too, destruction in Nikes. And I have to hide food so that the other kids actually get some. He goes on midnight binges and leaves a trail of everything he got into... Congrats and thanks for playing!

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    1. Thank you for honoring me with the award--I had a lot of fun doing this and am so glad that both you and Karen came up with it!

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  12. At the rate I'm going, I'll have the world's longest blog award acceptance post. Good lord I am behind on all of this! Thank you so much for the award! I like how different it is from the others. Where else can you accept an award and say I didn't kill someone in the same post? :-D

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    1. That's what I said!! Finally something different we can really work with! I love it!

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  13. HA HA! This looks like my house! My almost 14-year-old is sure to be the death of me. I never know what's crawling in his room. Over the weekend, it was a dozen empty pudding containers. Ewwwww!

    Kudos on the award! :)

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    1. Oh no!!! My son at that age used to take applesauce containers (the GREEN applesauce) and dump them out on the wall behind his dresser. I found the mess six months later....gag.

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  14. Thank you so much Meno Mama and great post. Nothing like a teenage boy to bring out the best AND worst in a mom!!

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    1. And I know that YOU know all about this! Lol! Congratulations!

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  15. I was like that as a teenager. I know I have some really bad karmic payback coming my way when Claire is a teenager!

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    1. But at least you'll understand where it's coming from!

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  16. Dear Mama, So much goin on, I will come back and read why your boy is still breathin, but for now just want to say thank you.

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    1. You are so welcome. Take your time--I know you got your hands full, Hon. XO

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  17. LOL...I would say that you deserve this award and any others out there LOL. Son pretty daring he does. But I know he is a blessing to you. Every time I read a post about him I get a chuckle and he remains me of the things my youngest use, I had my kids 15 yrs apart and that 2nd one like to drove me crazy...
    fitandbeyond40.com (o, visiting from the SSS hop)

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    1. Hi Margaret! So happy to see you here. You had one just like mine--and you survived, so there is hope after all for me??

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  18. Hahaha Your blogs always make me chuckle! Congrats on the award!

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    1. Awwww..thanks! That means a lot coming from you because you ALWAYS make me smile!!!

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  19. Marcia, you have such a way with words... you are so hilarious... I think this about teenagers too... I am hoping Valentina will be easier... mind you I am just hoping...

    :)

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    1. Hey, you might get lucky! My girls weren't as difficult, so maybe everything will be easier for you....we can hope, right?

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  20. Oh my gosh, I started laughing so much that I almost cried :D You have such a wonderful way of writing :)
    Hugs
    xx

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    1. Thank you so much for the compliment!! I find it's pretty easy to write when it comes to my 17 year old--he always gives me SOMETHING to write about or laugh about (and sometimes cry about...). Thanks for coming by to read the post!

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  21. You've got yours full too it seems with all those empty yogurt and cereal boxes. Doesn't it seem as if we're grocery shopping everyday, but never have any food. Tell him to pick it up or the next rat will be in his dirty bed!

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    1. YESSSS!!!! I LOVE the way you think!!!

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  22. Double M (#2)...

    "Borrowed his Father's NEW bike and wrecked it four times."

    My heart sank, my jaw dropped... Bike as in Motorcycle, or as in bicycle???

    My Bike (motorcycle) was my Baby!!! I just can't even imagine.

    Aside from that, neat freak that I am, I feel your pain, if you will.

    Kids... what are we gonna do with them??? Ha...

    Have a great week, Slu

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    1. Oh NOOO! Not a motorcycle!! I would have had a freakin' heart attack if my 17 year old was on one of those! I was hyperventilating last week when he rode a dirt bike!!! No--it was just a regular bicycle--but a VERY expensive one....The Hubs was NOT pleased....

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  23. LOL... I just re-read my comment. You must know I am hoping your son was OK in the four accidents. Ha!!! But, to wreck a NEW Bike 4 times. I would die. Ha... Slu

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    1. Haha! No, I understood what you were saying. My boy DID get hit by a car in the third wreck--he was banged up a bit but OK. The bike was a mess though. You would NOT have wanted to hear THAT conversation between father and son...I just hid in my bedroom the whole time Lol!

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  24. I just had a panic attack reading your post. My son is only 10 and he's like this, too. I know it'll only get worse. I sound like a nagging robot: "Put your clothes in the dirty hamper." "Don't leave your underwear in the middle of the living room." "Bring me your plate." "Did you wipe your butt? You stink." "Stop pretending to hump the dog." And on and on.

    Congrats on your award!!! You're going to run out of award space in the sidebar. lol

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    1. "Did you wipe your butt?" "Stop pretending to hump the dog.".....oh, I remember those days as well. They're just a prelude of what's to come, my friend!

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  25. new follower from the friend connect hop!
    www.violetlulu.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks for the follow! I'll be are to check out your site.

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  26. I LOVE reading stories about your family! I think they are my favorite blog posts and this one didn't disappoint. It also made me glad to know I don't have to clean up after a 17 year-old anything!

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    1. Lucky you! But I see a light at the end of the tunnel---3 of my kids have already grown up and moved out, which leaves this last one. Hopefully he will be ready to spread his wings and fly from the nest in the next 2 years....or he could end up being the one kid who still lives at home at the age of 30......NOOOO!

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  27. Never a dull moment in the Doyle household. Ha Ha! I probably would have loved kneeboarding in the park and Kayaking down the street too. You don't have to tell him that though. :)

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    1. Yeah, I don't want to give him anymore ideas.....Next thing you know, he'll be begging me to buy him a bunch of fishing equipment and a boat.....at that point I'm sending him over to you for an extended vacation in Michigan!

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  28. I have learned from experience, not to drink anything whilst reading your posts for fear of choking with laughter... or to eat anything, from fear of choking with laughter. Now I've had to add smoking, as I just choked on the plumes of my cigarette. Even now, I can hear my blackened lungs cursing my name.

    Congrats on your award meno mama. And thanks so much for nominating me. It's bought some sunshine to what has been a difficult few days. :)

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    1. Awwww....Lily, I only want you to have sunshine days!! Come over and visit Meno Mama--we'll chill in my garden with some coffee or wine and have a chat. You can tell me all about Spawn and I'll tell you all about my ornery pug. Promise it will make you smile!

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  29. LOL, I had that child in my home for awhile. :) He's all grown up now and since he has a house of his own, he doesn't do any of the above anymore. ;)

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    1. ahhhh...so there IS a light at the end of the tunnel!

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  30. I'm so glad you didn't write what I thought you wrote – "dried on bowl of girls," because that would have required further explanation :)

    When my kids were teenagers, "Not Me" lived with us, because "Not me" left dirty dishes in the sink, "Not Me" threw trash in the direction of the garbage, but never really hit the garbage, "Not me" left the door open so thousands of bugs would call our place home, and "Not me" left empty boxes and containers in the cabinets and refrigerator. As a matter of fact, "Not me" was the culprit in every single incident that answered the question, "Who ...?"

    Fun post!

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    1. Now how did I just KNOW you would be able to relate to this post? Haha! Thanks for stopping by, Theresa!

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  31. Congrats on letting the boy live another day. I know it was difficult. I'd like to believe that he will outgrow the inability to change his sheets. But my husband is almost 50 and still hasn't managed it

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    1. Hahaha!!! That's too funny...but also a little scary....I'd better make sure this kid learns how to change a sheet before he moves out...'course he may still be here when he's thirty....

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  33. OMG I can so relate to this. My husband's ASSHOLE (and I mean that literally because she sucked - no I am not mean but we're talking thousands of hours of therapy and bitchery) teenage daughter lived here for FOUR YEARS. You know, I keep seeing you on Bloppy and the other, and I think I commented a lot once ago because you are hilarious....and I'm sorry I stopped coming...I will come again. More and often. Thanks for this hilarious story.

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    1. I am so happy to see you back here!! I've gotten a bit lax in visiting other's blogs as well--so no worries but now that you are here I am seriously going to start checking out your posts too because I love your blog! XO

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  34. I had to come by and tell you that I will totally be doing a post on this award, but it won't be this week. I've got a Mother's Day one planned. I just didn't want you to think I had forgotten about MY AWARD because I SO haven't. I'm so excited that you gave it to me!!

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    1. Take your time, Hon! There's no rush---just enjoy it and drop me a line whenever you write it because I know it will be great!! XO

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    1. OOPS!!! Lisa, I am so sorry! I just accidentally deleted your message when I deleted the spammer comment above yours! Thanks for the follow and i will be sure to check out your page!!

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  38. I am stopping by from the bloglovin blog hop and am following you now.

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  39. Haha - sounds like my house too!! The empty cartons and boxes everywhere drive me nuts! Especially when they put them back!

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  40. Happy Mother's day Menopausal Mother and I hope your teenage is being sweet today, like cleaning up the house. Sheila @The Frugal Exerciser

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  41. Okay, feeling really glad that I have a girl here! ;) I'm catching up on blogs so looking forward to seeing what else you've written while I've been gone :)

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