"I'm pretty sure these are rogue fat cells attacking my butt. It has nothing to do with the grilled cheese sandwiches I ate."
"They should invent a dual-ended deodorant stick. One side for your armpits and the other for your butt.""Mom, where's the antibacterial cream?"
"You mean the Neosporin?"
"No, the generic one you bought since we can't afford the real stuff. POOR-sporin."
"Your bedroom stinks! It smells like a cow died in here."
"I didn't know my socks could moo."
"Oh, look at those cute raccoons in our backyard. I want one for a pet!"
"Honey, that's the wine talking...HONEY!! STOP CHASING THE RACCOONS!!!"
"It was so hot outside while I was mowing that I don't even feel my feet anymore. They melted. All I have left are stubs."
"They need to include auto poop tubes in cars so you can suck out the toxic waste while you're stuck in traffic. It's the wave of the future.""Obviously your wagon lost a wheel and you've derailed in the middle of a desert."
"He thinks I'm sitting around all day popping prozac like candy and watching Dr. Phil in my pajamas."
"No, old underwear does NOT make good Chinese lanterns."
"Leave your mother alone. She's cracked out on Nutella and coffee.""Mom, my sunburn is finally peeling. There's bits of skin coming off my neck."
"It's called leprosy."
"What's THAT?"
"When chunks of flesh fall off your body."
"Wait, what? No, I don't have that....do I?"
"I'll bet you were one of the cool kids who sat at the back of the bus during school field trips."
"I've been to the back of the bus. All you do is smell urine. It's not a glamorous thing."
"I can't help you right now. I'm getting attacked by a wolverine."
"Good. I hope it chews you up into little pieces of fish bait. ""Where's Mom? I haven't seen her all day."
"She's playing mole in the hole in her office."
"Honey, there's either a tumor or a very large poop ball stuck to the rabbit's tail.""Well, don't expect me to help you figure out which one it is."
"Stop trimming the hedges into bunny shapes and penises. Edward Scissor
Hands you are NOT!"
"You need to go to your weird place if you want to write like that."
Folks, do you see what I'm talking about? These people fly the freak flag with pride. Where are those dudes in the little white coats to take this family away to the funny farm? Oh holy crap, is that a fly swatter? Oh no, she didn't, she wouldn't..." SPLAT!
*Be sure to check out these other Fly posts from these hilarious bloggers:
ROFLOL!!! OMGOSH!!! I LOVE your Fly on the Wall posts!!! AWESOME!!
ReplyDeleteNever a dull moment at the Doyle house.....
DeleteSERIOUSLY? Your family actually comes up with this stuff? Forget Fly on the Wall...you should be writing a book. I'd buy it, I would!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Lorinda! As a matter of fact, I AM writing a book about these nut jobs!
DeleteAnd I would feel right at home with all of that weirdness.
ReplyDeleteHow come I don't get penis shaped hedges at my house?
Now go back to your weird place and keep writing. HILARIOUS!!!!
Yes, you would feel very much at home with us. Go get your plane ticket. Now.
DeleteNext time you're cracked out on Nutella and coffee, make some of those underwear Chinese Lanterns and take pictures. I could use a good guest post . . .
ReplyDeleteOhhhh..now THAT sounds like fun!!!
DeleteI think I would feel right at home!! Life is more fun with your freak hat on!
ReplyDeleteKathy
http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com
Absolutely, and I would LOVE to have you come visit! Just think of the new blog posts we could come up with....
DeleteI need pictures of bunny/penis shaped hedges. STAT.!
ReplyDeleteI can also relate to the Poor-sporin. My kids swear Walmart bandaids don't stick. Ha. This was a great post. I adore your pics- it's fun seeing other crazy families being crazy together! <3 you.
I think that's why we, as bloggers, get along so well---we have that crazy gene in common! <3 you, too!
DeleteI love 'fly on the wall' and all the sharing.
ReplyDeleteDawn
Spatulas On Parade
Me too! It was very creative of Karen to come up with this idea!
DeleteI love love love these posts. I think they have to be my favorites. And my favorite of this one: "Leave your mother alone. She's cracked out on nutella and coffee." Hilarious! Oh--I FINALLY posted the Triumph Award post that you gave me. Thanks again!!
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy you love these---maybe because you can relate to them, Hmm? I LOVE your blog, too--headed over to check out your trophy post now! XO
DeleteOh, I laughed and laughed- what fun it is in your house. I'm going to check out these other posts.
ReplyDeleteWe do have fun! Yes, please read the other blogger's posts--I think you'll like them!
DeleteAs always, I want to live with you. I sincerely wish I didn't hate Florida that much!
ReplyDeleteI wish you could visit us, too! And I can't hate you or not liking Florida all that much. There are a lot of other places I would choose to live if I could!
DeleteSeriously, you never disappoint on this post and I pretty much laughed so hard, especially at the Poor-osprin!! Seriously that is all we can afford, too lol!! :)
ReplyDeleteI think most of the stuff in my house starts with the word "poor".....
DeleteI want to drink too much wine and chase Raccoons with you.
ReplyDelete-The Insomniac's Dream
Yes! Let the games (and the wine swilling) begin!
DeleteI always look forward to your Fly on the Walls, they crack me up every time! I'm so glad you take notes ;)
ReplyDeleteGlad you like the Fly posts so well--there is ALWAYS an endless supply of funny around here!
DeleteHaha. I wanna see the pic of you chasing raccoons!
ReplyDeleteThere were 5 of them! A mama and her 4 babies. They are so ridiculously cute---it's hard to believe they are so vicious. I was following them around the yard at night (after MANY glasses of liquid courage a.k.a wine) and giving my husband a heart attack!
DeleteYou crack me up!
ReplyDeleteGlad I got you laughing!~ Thanks for stopping by!
DeleteOkaaay that is even crazier than my house. Sorry... I bow to you... you win! Funny stuff!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Pinky!! Hey, I have been trying to find your website. Can you send me the link?
DeleteOh my... you always make me laugh so hard... especially the poor-sporin and envisioning you chasing some racoons... hahaha
ReplyDeleteYou are a hoot... love these posts so much :)
Thanks, Launna! Yeah, we have lots of poor-sporin going on over here....
DeleteI love reading these! Your family seems really fun!!!
ReplyDeleteOh, you know we are--that's why I want you to travel south to come see me!
DeleteI have been MIA for a few weeks (busy scrappin' my contest album) so I popped in here thinking I would enjoy a good laugh....you NEVER disappoint....you are one funny lady and I LOVE the way you write!
ReplyDeleteStopping by from the weekly "Pimp-Out/Showcase" Hop
Carolyn @ iamthecraftylady.com
I hope you will stop by for a visit!
Hi Carolyn! I appreciate you stopping by--I will definitely check in on you to see how that scrapbook is coming along!
DeleteSo going to visit you one day and be a fly on your wall
ReplyDeleteXOXOXO
Can you just IMAGINE the material we would come up with if you visited and we made our own Fly On The Wall?!?
DeleteThis is a fun post. I like the family pic at the bottom. :)
ReplyDeleteMe too--we were all at Disney World that day and the skies opened up. Thank goodness they sell raincoats there!
DeleteThis is such a cute post! =)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Melissa! Glad you like it!
DeleteYou have the most outrageous family EVER!!! And that's saying something in a nation that's produced the Jacksons, the Reagans, and the Barrymores!!! :)
ReplyDeleteI agree. I'm waiting for MTV to contact us for our own reality TV show....
DeleteI want to come to your house! Your family sounds awesomely fun! Hilarious. My favorite was the either poop ball or tumor on the bunny's tail. And the penis bushes because whose yard wouldn't be better with a penis bush? Love it. Thanks for taking notes so we can all be flies on the wall, too!
ReplyDeleteThose were my favorite conversations, too. My family always provides plenty of fodder for these Fly On The Wall posts!
Delete"Life in the Crazy." Ha... Enjoyed, Slu
ReplyDeleteYup. That's what it's all about over here. Livin' large in Crazy Town!
DeleteI often wonder why there are not cameras in my house because the conversations are ridiculous. Thanks for sharing a peek, when is the tv show coming because this stuff is GOLD
ReplyDeleteSeriously waiting for MTV to come over with the contract...Lol!
DeleteYou could easily do stand-up comedy, Marcia!!! LOL!! ", old underwear does NOT make good Chinese lanterns" I'm dying!!
ReplyDeleteI love that you changed the font.....Thanks so much! Muaah!!
Thank you Roshni for coming by--I am so glad you told me about the font--I really like this much better, too!
DeleteLMAO - these are absolutely hysterical - and sound a little too much like home LOL
ReplyDeleteGreat post Marcia!
XOX
The you and I shall get along famously whenever we meet up!
DeleteNever a dull moment is there?!! I cannot stand when there is a piece of something to an animal's behind...at that point, I am yelling "Hon, come over here...the cat needs some help..." I CANNOT deal with that.
ReplyDeleteYeah, it's pretty gross. I have come to find out that rabbits can be pretty disgusting.....
DeleteThe conversations are too funny. My butt isn't growing from grilled cheese either... definitely not!
ReplyDeleteI was finally told the other day that I had a "Zumba butt" because I have been working out so much lately. I'll take that over grilled cheese any day!
DeleteEvery time I come to your blog, I get attacked by that damn happy heart thing and it freaks me out! Is that your answer to a guard dog for blogs to keep content thieves away? :)
ReplyDeleteSorry....I don't have the "heart" to get rid of it yet because everyone always has fun playing with it....I'll admit, when I get bored, or I am deep in thought, I start swirling it around to watch the glitter fall...ok stupid, I know...
DeleteI especially ♥ the leprosy one - lol
ReplyDeleteGotta remember that the next time I sunburn...which should be anytime soon!
I really did have the teenager going there for a minute--it was fun getting him back at him for all the teasing I put up with from him.
DeleteYep. Love this family!
ReplyDeleteP.S. What was Dr. Phil doing in your pajamas?
Good point! I should have caught that grammatical error!
DeleteThere I was enjoying my morning coffee and all of a sudden I'm reading about leprosy, poop balls, auto poop tubes, old underwear and prozac. Then I remembered I was at Meno's house where everything and anything can happen at any minute. The 'funny farm' is an understatement, it's the 'crazy fun farm' for true. People would pay good money to say at yours for a weekend mate. Have a good one Menopausal Mama :)
ReplyDeleteNever a dull moment in this nut house, RPD. And you are ALWAYS welcome to come for a visit and lots of laughs!!!
DeleteWhen are you going to write a book?? I would so buy that! Even in hardcover!
ReplyDeleteI'm working on it, I promise!
Delete