Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Wacky Wednesday Writer's Guest Post By: Aussa Lorens of Hacker. Ninja. Hooker. Spy.

     I've been grinning for days in anticipation of introducing you to my special WWW guest. Please welcome Aussa Lorens of Hacker. Ninja. Hooker. Spy! I've seen her name floating around the inter webs and is it any wonder? She is a BlogHer Voice of The Year 2014 recipient as well as a 2014 Badass Blog Award winner. I love Aussa's off-the-wall brand of humor ----it speaks to me. She could be my way, WAY younger sista from another mista. Hey, the lady works at a psychiatric hospital, so you KNOW she has some great experiences to share!

     Please welcome Aussa to Meno Mama's site today with lots of comment love. If you get a chance to visit her blog (which I highly recommend that you do!), you'll see that she gets more comment love on her posts than almost any blogger I know. This lady ROCKS!




THIS IS WHY WE DON'T JUDGE PEOPLE

25 comments:

  1. Why does that woman sound like me in just a few months?

    Also...this is why I don't do wedges. They deceive you into thinking you can walk better in them than heels. It's a lie. A horrible, horrible lie.

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    1. Laura, I honestly don't even understand how any adult human can navigate any part of the world with that many children in tow. I don't know how my Mom did it with 5. I saw a woman at the grocery store last Christmas who had two carts full of stuff with one kid in each basket and an additional kid in one of the main parts of the basket. My mind was blown. I offered to help her push them out to the car (like some sort of psycho kidnapper) but she looked at me like I was, in fact, some sort of psycho kidnapper. I imagine she is still out there somewhere, trying to cross the parking lot...

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  2. HAHAHHA.

    I've lost count at the number of times I have publicly humiliated myself. I don't take a lot of pictures of strangers though..I HAVE...just not often. I'm too afraid I'll get caught and then they will beat me up.

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    1. Oh my gosh, I wish I could remember who it was that blogged about this because now I'm just going to regurgitate it, but they went through a drive thru and apparently the person warranted a sneaky photo but they had forgotten to turn the flash off-- horrifying. For the most part, I try to apply the golden rule to these scenarios from now on because I really REALLY don't want to become a meme.

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    2. Okay..you WOULD make a really good meme, though.

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  3. I once offered money to a homeless guy who wasn't homeless - just on a break from the Tim Hortons. I never shopped in that plaza again.

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    1. Hahahaha! Oh my gosh, that's deliciously awkward.

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  4. I've not fallen in public, but I've wished it on others . . .
    Maybe I should go back and read the 'do not judge' part again . . .

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    1. You've wished it on others! Oh my... I think the only people I truly wish will fall are super models on catwalks and pageant contestants. Except not really because my heart always breaks a little and I feel terrible. As I rewind to watch it over, and over, and over.

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  5. I've been lucky enough for the most part to not fall in public (there was that one time when I was 20 though...um, ouch) but I have been known to run into things. Yup. I'm clumsy. I get it from my mom. Thanks, mom!

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    1. I run into things all the time! So much more than I fall, thank goodness. I think. Not sure why I'm being thankful about running into things.

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  6. I remember you telling this story, Aussa, but it's still good the second time around. I wish I could have performed so well whenever I have stumbled. Someday, I'll have to show you the photo of when I fell down on a bathtub spigot. Picked a fight with me, it did, but it won.

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    1. That sounds horribly, horribly painful... like a dark black bruise sort of pain.
      It's been a little while since I've had that breath-stealing sort of injury, I'm probably overdue.

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  7. I'd have liked to see a picture of that woman pushing three shopping carts.

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  8. Oh my gosh... this was utterly hilarious... I felt so helpless right along with you... I could see you in my mind going up in the air and then landing... First I am glad you were not physically hurt, second I couldn't stop laughing as I would have if I had fallen myself... from embarrassment...lol

    I don't have anything that dramatic but I did tuck my skit into my panty hose in a bar and walked around like that for all to see ... probably 300 people before some kind woman alerted me to the fact... lol.. It's a funny story now..

    Oh, I have one more, I was running for the bus once in a dress and on a very busy street, I looked down and my slip had dropped to my ankles... lmao... I just scooped it up and threw it in my purse. Everyone had a great laugh at work... so yes, I am great at humiliating myself too...

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    1. I can still see myself flying through the air as well... it was like an out of body experience. I would give almost anything to have a copy of the security footage.

      And OH MY GOSH the pantyhose thing, that is every woman's nightmare! I can't believe it took a while for anyone to point it out to you! Don't people have souls anymore?

      And your slip-- that's hilarious. I think I would have panicked in the moment and just stepped out of it and kept going like I had no idea what I'd just tripped over.

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  9. I am the favourite aunt, well to some of my nieces I am the favourite to others not so much but hell they don't know me very well if they did I would be their favourite as well...................or maybe I am delusional...............lol

    That said thank you for making me laugh which had Tim look at me like there was something wrong with me

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    1. I'm glad I made you laugh Jo-Anne! I love it when you bust up over something that no one else is aware of... it definitely earns some interesting looks.

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  10. This type of stuff happens to my best friend ALL THE TIME. Usually I'm not there to see it, but she's nice enough to share the stories with me so I can laugh. :) I'm sorry this happened to you, but thanks for sharing so the rest of us could start our morning with a little chuckle. :)

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    1. Ah, sounds like your best friend and I would get along great! And/or sustain numerous bodily injuries.

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  11. I judged a young, tattooed, pink/purple haired woman once, who was chasing a pajama'd child out of the (automatic) front door of a store (that led to a busy parking lot). The child was maybe 2 yrs. old, if that.... Turned out that woman frantically chasing the baby had saved the child from going outside, in the dark, in a busy parking lot...and it wasn't her child. She came back in, baby in arms, asking whose child it was... I was flabbergasted with myself for thinking the worst, amazed that neither I, nor anyone else around me for the last ten minutes or so checking out groceries had wondered where that baby's parents were, and mostly I was grateful/thankful that woman was there to "see" and be smart enough to chase that baby. No parent turned up in the remaining time I was there.

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    1. Oh my gosh. That story kind of gave me chills :-/ How absolutely horrible. And isn't it true how we're so quick to judge like that? Agh. Have you ever blogged about this? Sounds like a story that needs to be shared.

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  12. You kidding! I think we are all derived from the Klutzy Clan! Not ony have I fallen , but fallen up the stairs in front of people. I have also walked through screen doors, and also walked into and smashed a glass sliding door!

    Yet, I laugh like a crazy person when I see other people do these things to themselves!

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    1. Phil I was at lunch just yesterday and saw a guy trip over a bar stool. I laughed my ass off (on the inside) and then (hopefully very quietly) recounted the entire thing to The Boyfran. I was so amused.
      This was like 20 minutes before I launched salad into my face and across the restaurant. Little bits of lettuce were falling out of my dress when I stood up.
      There are photos on facebook, of course.

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