At my house, whenever my whole family gets together, things get weird. Someone will bring out the accordion and attempt to play polka music. Worse, SOME people actually try to dance to the music. Soon after, a pudding fight ensues.
Yes, I live with lunatics, and they all belong in a padded cell….together.
"You've infected me with your lunacy."
"Don't throw out those leftover pancakes! I might eat them later."
"Instead of 'Save the Whales' your new slogan should be "Save The Pancakes."
"Laughter is NOT the best medicine. Chocolate is."
"I like this bottle of Winking Owl wine, even though it's really cheap."
"It tastes like crap. They should have named it Winking Sphincter wine."
"With all the tossing and turning you do in bed at night, I think that qualifies as a day's worth of rigorous exercise."
"Did my granddaughter just say that having to carry all of her stuff up the stairs was 'ridiculous'?"
"No---she said it was 'DICKulous.' She hasn't mastered her R's yet."
"Dear triple shot of espresso, please lie to me about how much we're going to get done today."
"Stop licking my earlobe---I already know you're feeling amorous. Who needs Q-tips when I have your tongue?"
"Are you talking to me or the dog?"
"Why is your ring tone a loud siren? Are you trying to give yourself a heart attack?"
"I have so many tabs open on my laptop --- it sounds like a jet getting ready to take off."
"Note to self: never give your husband cabbage for dinner an hour before he has to drive clients around all night for Uber."
Now you understand what I mean when I say I've been locked in a padded cell with these whack jobs. Can you hand me the keys to get out of here, please???
Check out all the bloggers participating in today's Fly On The Wall group posting!
htttp://www.BakingInATornado.com Baking In A Tornado
http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/ Spatulas on Parade
http://followmehome.shellybean.com Follow me homehttp://www.menopausalmom.com/ Menopausal Mother
http://batteredhope.blogspot.com Never Ever Give Up Hope
http://www.justalittlenutty.com/ Just A Little Nutty
http://themomisodes.com The Momisodes
http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com Someone Else’s Genius
http://dinoheromommy.com Dinosaur Superhero Mommy
http://www.angrivatedmom.wordpress.com The Angrivated Mom
http://nicholemomof8.blogspot.com/ Nichole Mom of 8
http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com Searching for Sanity
http://www.clutteredgenius.com Cluttered Genius
http://eileensperpetuallybusy.blogspot.com/ Eileen’s Perpetually Busy
http://www.southernbellecharm.com Southern Belle Charm
http://www.gomamao.com Go Mama O
I always love your reads. Makes me feel like I'm back home at a family reunion. Trust me there are a lot of Waco job family's out there ;)
ReplyDeleteHAHA I believe it!
DeleteHehe...I'm assuming that all of these remarks made just as much sense in context?
ReplyDeleteI'm telling you----I live with a bunch of crazies.
DeleteHaaa, loved it! Who knew a Water Pik could remove half a cow from your teeth? Don't get me started on Winking Sphincter wine, I think I've drunk a few bottles of that shit. Thanks for the laughs, Marcia and crazy family. Loved the photos, too! I'm off to visit some other homes... :) Have a great weekend!
ReplyDeleteLOL I love your comment about the wine---thanks for the smile!
DeleteHilarious!!
ReplyDeleteThanks! XO
DeleteIf chocolate IS the best medicine (and I'm gonna have to agree with you on that one) and tossing and turning all night DOES constitute exercise, my future just started looking a whole lot brighter.
ReplyDeleteSee? There IS hope for us! We get to eat chocolate AND count wrestling with the sheets as exercise!
DeleteIt's a life sentence, Marcia. Sorry! :)
ReplyDeleteNooooooooo! I need to make a padded cell prison break!
DeleteWow! My life seems just so dull in comparison: no ear licking, no flying pancakes, no spraying of cows! Loved to be part of your "nutty" family gathering:) Have a great weekend Marcia! xx
ReplyDeleteHa-Ha you're welcome here any time, my dear! XO
DeleteFun post as usual, especially the request for a lie from triple shot espresso.
ReplyDeleteIt lies to me every day…..
DeleteLOL! I've never seen a review of a water pik quite like that :)
ReplyDeleteThey really do work good…..
DeleteSince I am part of a large crazy family I feel right at home here
ReplyDeleteI knew we would get along well!
DeleteLooks like a fun wall to the fly on!!!!
ReplyDeleteIf you like craziness, then we're your tribe!
DeleteWhat fun! Winking sphincter wine really cracked me up. Love your family's humor and craziness. My own family has always shared a lot of wit and laughter too. It is a true blessiong.
ReplyDeleteThat's why I love your blog and sense of humor as well---we're on the same wave length!
DeleteAlthough I'm Type A I don't know how you handle it -- to me home is a place of peace and quiet and the crazy stuff happens outside. My hat's off to you but don't you get tired????
ReplyDeleteI'm ALWAYS tired….which is why I take power naps on the weekends.
DeleteOh my Marcia, even your granddaughter is making it into the blog with funny sayings... our children can say the most hilarious things and not realize it... lol
ReplyDeleteOh, I want one of those waterpiks... it sounds amazing ... cleaning half a cow out of your mouth... haha
The Waterpik works GREAT!
DeleteI've got the keys for you, but can't find them right now. I think I packed them in a moving box.........Sorry
ReplyDeleteNoooooooo! Help meeeee!
DeleteSoooo - was the ear lobe remark directed at your hubby or the dogs. Inquiring minds want to know! lol!
ReplyDeleteDefinitely the hubs!
DeleteI laughed so much, Chad asked why I was laughing. I said... Just ignore me. I'm blogging. He said... You're laughing at your own stuff?! I told him I'm reading a fellow blogger... His reply... Oh. I knew you weren't that funny.
ReplyDeleteWant a new addition to your padded cell?!
Great post. Thanks for the laughs!
Thanks! And you're always welcome to be my padded cell roomie!
DeleteIf laughter keeps you young Marcia you'll never age again! You crazy family has got to be reality TV's biggest fail for not giving you your own TV show already!
ReplyDeleteRight?! I keep telling ABC they need to come to our house…..hahahaha!
DeleteHAHAHAHA...this is awesome!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Michelle. Just a couple of crazy inmates here in the padded cell I call home.
DeletePudding fight *snort* I must make that a family tradition now. I live near several wineries, one of which is called Mad Dog Winery. I'm now going to ask them if they can produce a Winking Sphincter wine in your honor.
ReplyDeleteHa-ha! Let me know how that goes…… :)
DeleteWinking Sphincter - that's too funny! Always nice to know there are people out there crazier than me. ;)
ReplyDeleteMaybe we could both share that padded cell?
DeleteLooks fun! Checking the other links.
ReplyDeleteThese are funny. I enjoy reading these from the quietness of my home. LOL!
ReplyDeleteI wish I could remember what quietness is…..
Deletelol my family is crazy too, and my oldest married into a very refined and proper English family. It makes for some interesting family get-togethers. ;)
ReplyDeleteOMG you need to blog about it----I'd love to read some stories!!
DeleteYour family ROCKS.
ReplyDeleteYou must be Italian!! xxx
I'm not…but I always wanted to be Italian. Does that count?
DeleteI think I've drank a fair bit of that Winking Sphincter wine in my time! Great stuff - it's never dull in your household.
ReplyDeleteNever dull and very difficult to sleep here with all the noise, ha-ha!
Delete