This month, the fly overheard more than he needed to know when it came to conversations between the men in my family. Other than that, we're all buzzing over here about the new edition of my Spandex book that was launched by Booktrope Publishers on Tuesday. Right now, that's a heck of a lot more entertaining to me than discussing the male anatomy.
"When there's cornstalks growing out of your rain gutters, you know it's time to clean them out."
"Just because you haven't worked for a few days is no excuse to let your whiskers grow so long that you look like a woolly mammoth."
"We can't let him leave the house in that shirt. People will see his breasticles."
"If I don't stop pigging out on all the good food in this house, the 'Manatee Preservation' truck is going to pull up in our driveway."
"You've been in the bathroom way too long. What are you doing, nutscaping your man parts?"
"His dirty laundry pile is so high, I think another family is hiding under there. The least they could do is pay him rent."
"This storm is bad enough to be classified as a 'Hornado'."
"What's THAT?"
"A tornado and a hurricane combined."
"Sounds more like a hooker's stage name."
"If our granddaughter doesn't stop singing B-I-N-G-O, I'm going to go N-U-T-S-O."
"Of course he's scared of having a vasectomy. No man wants to be part of the cropped testicle club."
"If you're going to straighten my spine by popping my back, be sure to do it correctly so that I don't turn into a pile of sand."
"He compares his manhood to a prawn, but it's really more like a langoustine shrimp."
"That new hedge trimmer you bought would come in handy next time you decide to cut your toenails."
"I still haven't found the perfect turkey for Thanksgiving. The largest one I saw was only 28 pounds, not the 35 pounder that I had hoped for to feed our crowd."
"You don't want a turkey; you want an OSTRICH."
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Enjoy your day with the family and friends you're blessed with. This is my favorite holiday and one that I look forward to every year! Be sure to keep plenty of Alka-Selter on hand for the day of feasting, or else the Manatee Preservation truck will come looking for you, too!
***I'M EXCITED TO SHARE THE NEWS THAT BOOKTROPE PUBLISHERS JUST RELEASED THE NEW EDITION OF MY BOOK, "WHO STOLE MY SPANDEX? LIFE IN THE HOT FLASH LANE" ON 11/17! YOU CAN PURCHASE IT HERE:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B017Y979X0?keywords=Who%20Stole%20my%20spandex%3F&qid=1447957918&ref_=sr_1_2&sr=8-2
Be sure to click on these links for a peek into some other homes:
http://www.BakingInATornado.com Baking In A Tornado
http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/ Spatulas on Parade
http://followmehome.shellybean.com Follow me home http://www.menopausalmom.com/ Menopausal Mother
http://batteredhope.blogspot.com Never Ever Give Up Hope
http://themomisodes.com The Momisodes
http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com Someone Else’s Genius
http://eileensperpetuallybusy.blogspot.com/ Eileen’s Perpetually Busy
http://www.southernbellecharm.com Southern Belle Charm
http://dinoheromommy.com/ Dinosaur Superhero Mommy
http://www.angrivatedmom.wordpress.com The Angrivated Mom
http://www.gomamao.com Go Mama O
Happy thanksgiving to you and yours Marcia! Congrats on the book!
ReplyDeleteThanks! And Happy Thanksgiving to you, too!
DeleteIt's official - you guys are n-u-t-s - but in the good sense of course:) How do you come up with this silly stuff? My family looks so boring in comparison. Happy Thanksgiving to all of you! xx Abby
ReplyDeleteMy family is very eccentric, so I'm never lacking in good material from them. Thank gawd for their humor, otherwise I really would go nutso.
DeleteOh yes!! I used to sing songs that drove my parents crazy!!
ReplyDeleteShe is STILL singing BINGO.....I think I need to invest in some ear plugs.
DeleteHornados and nutscaping? Do you give people a special dictionary when they come to visit?
ReplyDeleteHa-Ha! It's "Doyle-speak."
DeleteMy friend raised turkeys and had one that was 50 pounds. She had to cut it in half to fit it into the oven. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving Marcia
ReplyDeleteI need a bird that size to feed my crew!! Happy Thanksgiving to you too, Carol!
DeleteI love my monthly visit with the Doyle household! 35 pound turkey? That's not a turkey, that's a calf! Happy Thanksgiving!
ReplyDeleteI swear one year we did find a bird that was close to 35 pounds. It was delicious. Happy Thanksgiving to you, too!
DeleteIt is funny the sayings your own family comes up with. We have a couple of our own, and they are funny to us (but, I'm sure crazy, weird to everyone else!!) jodie
ReplyDeletewww.jtouchofstyle.com
#midlife blogger
Oh yes---every family has their own funny, little quirky sayings.
DeletePrawn and shrimp-- I spit out my tea! That was hilarious. Yes, crazy family but way funny!
ReplyDeleteI think my hubs is still scarred from having his man parts compared to a small shrimp!
DeleteLoved your book even before the new release. Congratulations and Happy Thanksgiving. I can relate to your NUTSO household. How boring would it be if it was sane?
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for reading my book! Yes, I agree, my house would be terribly boring if they weren't nutso.
DeleteNutso never sounded more appealing! Funny, funny stuff. I'd be a fly on your wall any time. And congrats on the new edition of your book!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Lee! Yes, there is never a dull moment in this nutso house!
DeleteAn Ostrich for Thanksgiving, now that'd be different. Thanks for making me laugh!
ReplyDeleteGlad you liked it and thank you for stopping by for the read!
DeleteI love the look on your husband's face as you are kissing him! So funny.. have to admit I would have risked spitting something out if I heard someone say "hornado"!
ReplyDeleteMy family comes up why the weirdest things!
DeleteI once dated a girl named Hornado. It was a stormy relationship.
ReplyDeleteI bet you could do a whole x rated post on that name alone.
OMG that's freaking funny, Joeh! Thanks for my morning laugh!!
DeleteHappy Thanksgiving, Marcia! Sounds like I should come over and help you guys eat all that good food :) Congrats on your book publication! I want to read that.
ReplyDeletePlease do---I'd be thrilled if you read it. And of course you're welcome to come help us eat the feast here!!
DeleteLOL to the family under the laundry pile and wanting an ostrich for Thanksgiving (also I remember reading that ostrich is actually REALLY good which seems weird but I guess turkeys are weird so maybe....).
ReplyDeleteHappy happy Thanksgiving to you and your hilarious family, Marcia! <3
Thanks, Kristi! Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family, too!
DeleteHornado, breasticles, nutscaping....Meno~mama you ought to have your own fureaking dictionary. Great post!! As for the book, we already purchased the first copy & are waiting on some downtime to read & laugh our asses off. You can better believe we'll be purchasing this one shortly cuz we know it's brilliantly funny!! Sharing this now luv ya!! <3 xoxo
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Natalie. I really appreciate it!
Deletecongrats on your book!
ReplyDeleteOMG you WILL need an ostrich with all those people, LOL.
nutscaping your man parts????I almost fell off my chair laughing.
Never a dull moment in the Doyle casa!
DeleteMarcia, I'm making sure I use the word "Hornado" three times today. LOL I hope your Thanksgiving with your family is a wonderful one <3
ReplyDeleteCongrats also, on your new release! WooHoo!
Thanks, Michele! Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family, too!
DeleteCongrats on your book. Happy thanksgiving to you too
ReplyDeleteThanks! Happy Thanksgiving!
DeleteCongrats on your book! Enjoy your turkey day with loved ones.
ReplyDeleteThanks! Enjoy your holiday, too!
DeleteThere is always so much fun going on in your house! I hope you find your 35 lb. turkey and have a fabulous Thanksgiving!
ReplyDeleteThanks! Well....I found a 29 pound bird....that's as close as I could get....
DeleteOMG. So much... oversharing at your house! LOL Not complaining - it's pretty awesome. :)
ReplyDeleteNever a dull moment around here!
Delete