Friday, January 26, 2018

I Lost My Cool! Guest Post By Gina Valley

     I'm not very handy around the house when it comes to repairs. In fact, I pretty much suck at it. For that reason, I keep my electrician, plumber, and a/c guy's cell phone number nearby at all times. Anyone who can repair a leaky faucet, broken smoke alarm or dying air conditioner has my utmost respect. So imagine my surprise when I discovered that fellow humor writer Gina Valley has some serious plumbing skills. Today she's sharing a funny story about repairing her kitchen sink....and the startling revelation that she is no longer cool. Please welcome this funny, talented lady to Meno Mama's site today with lots of comment love!

                                     I LOST MY COOL!

I’m not cool.
I realized that today.
I suppose, on some level, I’ve known it for a while, but today it became glaringly apparent. Today, I realized I have become my father.
Don’t get me wrong. There’re a lot of cool things about my father. My dad was a great guy. He was funny and smart and giving. I’d love to turn into that part of my dad. But, I didn’t.
Today, after I installed a new kitchen faucet, I realized the transition was complete. My cool was gone. Totally gone.
We had to get a new kitchen faucet, because the old one had fallen apart. You had to use a pair of locking pliers just to turn the thing on, water temperature was a gamble, and it vibrated so much when the water flowed that dirty dishes kept bouncing off the counter.
So, yesterday, we headed to our friendly, neighborhood, giant home improvement store (I’ve always thought running water in the kitchen improved any home) to get a new kitchen faucet.
Some of the faucets were so expensive I wondered if they magically cleaned dishes all by themselves. The Professor took one look at the wall of water wonders, and announced he refused to pay more for this faucet than he did for his first car. He’s always been picky.
We settled on one that was in our budget, or at least wouldn’t require us to take out a third mortgage to finance it. It looked like it could handle having our kids tie the dog to it without breaking off. The fact that it supposedly had an anti-fingerprint finish just made us giggle. I was sure our kids would accept that challenge. They’re very competitive. No faucet was going beat them.
So, today, after my family was out the door for the day, I installed the new faucet we’d picked out. I always find it’s best to work on projects like this after my family is gone for the day. That way they don’t get in my way, and they don’t hear my creative vocabulary when I smash a finger or break a pipe.
After I was finished, I was standing in our kitchen, putting away my tools and looking at our newly installed faucet, when I heard someone say, “That’s a beautiful faucet.”
I looked around, and realized I was the only one there. And, not only had I said, “That’s a beautiful faucet,” I really thought that faucet was beautiful.
I flashed back to holding the tools while my dad installed a new kitchen faucet in my childhood home when I was a teenager. I remembered him saying, while he gently polished it with a cloth, “That’s a beautiful faucet.” I remembered thinking how that was further proof my dad was totally uncool.
And, here I was, decades later, riding the same train to un-coolness. Today’s stop was “Admiring Household Plumbing Fixtures.” I could only wonder whether tomorrow’s stop would be “Listening to Muzak”, “Wearing Sensible Shoes”, or ”Buying High-Waist, Polyester Pants” (as I typed that I thought, “at least those things don’t ever wrinkle,” and felt myself drift ever further away from cool).
When did this happen? When did I lose my cool?
What happened to stay-up-late-me and high-heels-everyday-me and eat-anything-late-at-night-me? Where did that me go?
I related my tale of un-coolness-woe to my dear friend, Ava. I told her I felt disheartened and aged beyond my years, because I found new kitchen plumbing fixtures exciting. I wondered aloud if it was because I have children. Had they taken my cool as well as my last functioning brain cell? I lamented my decent down the slippery slope of un-coolness, and wondered if I would ever be cool again. Ava nodded along, sympathetically.
“Well, you know…” my wise friend began.
I can always count on Ava, and her sage advice to keep me on course. She’s always there for me, building me up when I feel myself falling apart. I needed her wisdom to get back on course today. I knew she’d know just what to say to help me get my cool back.
“Actually,” she continued, “that really is a beautiful faucet.”
Apparently, Ava has turned into my father, too.

Laugh Out Loud!
-gina
Have you lost your cool? What have you lost lately? Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

***This post is based on Where Did My Cool Go? which first appeared on ginavalley.com August 25, 2014. Used with permission.




Gina Valley is a humorist, who lives in Los Angeles, California, and had to hide in the bathroom to finish this column. She lives with her husband & their 7 children, who provide her with more inspiration than she needs for her blog Gina Valley – The Glamorous Life Of The Modern Day Soccer Mom. She finds humor in parenting her pack, figuring out marriage, navigating life, and trying to show up anywhere on time. Gina was a featured humor cast member in Listen to Your Mother. Gina puts her words in other people’s mouths as a prolific speech, ghost, and column writer. In addition, her work appears widely on the web. Laugh along with Gina on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and ginavalley.com


21 comments:

  1. I don't think I ever really had any "cool" to lose! I think it is VERY cool that you can install your own faucet, and I've spent many hours admiring any household maintenance progress. Whatever makes life better is worthy of acknowledgement. By the way, I also agree on the price of faucets. When we renovated our home, I was stunned. My learning is that the priciest, "pretty" ones work the worst....

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    1. That's so true! Better to stick with the ones in mid range.

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    2. Seana, I might be fooling myself thinking I had cool to lose, but it's a hope I cling to desperately!
      I learned lots of home repair as a matter of necessity. When we ended up in an ancient house, all those years of helping my dad paid off. Hiring someone to fix stuff is just so crazy expensive. I agree with you on the "pretty" ones not working. We go for sturdy and hope for the best. I just tell people we are going for an industrial vibe! Thank you for reading!

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  2. Well, the faucet is beautiful. Let's forget about losing your cool and focus on the fact you're a rockstar....WITH TOOLS! You go girl!

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    1. Thank you, TCB! I've got to have my own tools. My family loses everything. I keep my tool box locked! Lol! Thank you for stopping by!

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  3. Thanks for the laugh, Gina. You have definitely lost your cool, but it’s worth it when you have a beautiful faucet to show for it. I recently purchased a new toilet and though I didn’t install it (my clever husband did) I have said more than once, ‘That is a beautiful toilet.’ This has flushed any claim I ever had to being cool, so I’m with you, sister!

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    1. Always a pleasure to get to share a giggle with you, Molly! I'm just thrilled to have running water. Highly inconvenient to have to run the hose through the window for water! I do draw the line at any toilet involved plumbing. But, I do appreciate a pretty throne! Thank you for your support!

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  4. My cool comes and goes...as needed! :-) But I think you are SUPER cool for being so handy. Installing your own faucet!?? Now THAT is cool.

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    1. Thank you for the compliment, Darlene! I'm just happy to have a functioning faucet. Makes life so much easier! I would not have done well in the pre-indoor-plumbing era! Thanks for reading!

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  5. I'm right there with you! I'm the faucet fixer, light bulb changer, and the Queen of getting the toilet unstuck at my house too!

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    1. I hear you, Rena! I have unclogged the toilet more times than I can count! Personally, I have a huge aversion to that, but it's dwarfed by my aversion to the toilet overflowing. We get stuff done, don't we? Thank you for reading!

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  6. I own more tools than my husband but I'm hesitant to take on a faucet. I think that MAKES you cool.

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    1. Thank you, Jenn! I think everyone should have tools. It's the first step to gaining confidence in taking care of our home. Second, finding an appropriate YouTude video to guide you. Faucets are actually quite simple to install. The main trick is getting the fittings on tightly enough. Give it a try. You'll get it! Thank you for stopping by!

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  7. Weeeell, first, I love new faucets. They are worth complimenting even to an empty room. Haha! It think you're cool by the mere fact that you can install it yourself!! Now, I'm so uncool these days, that I prefer to stay in on Saturday nights, drink wine on the couch and go to bed early to read. SIGH. You're cool compared to me, Gina. Great guest post, Marcia!

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    1. Thank you, Lisa! I am so glad to give you some giggles!
      I'm with you - I prefer to stay in on Saturday nights, too!
      Thank you so much for reading!

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  8. ---I'm inspired by a woman like you!
    Because I can't even put in my own lightbulb...well, I could.
    but... could say, I've been quite pampered.
    You Rockkkkk.


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    1. Honestly, it's pretty simple to put in a faucet. Just need a couple basic tools and a YouTube tutorial for confidence!
      I'm glad to have given you a smile!

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