Friday, July 19, 2019

Fly On The Wall In The Old Folk's Home (Part 2)

     Welcome to another edition of Fly On The Wall group postings, hosted by Karen of Baking In A Tornado. Today, five bloggers are inviting you into their lives for a glimpse of what you might see if you were a fly on their wall.

     As my husband's 63rd birthday approaches, he has done nothing but complain about his various ailments. If it's not the carpal tunnel in his wrist, it's his sciatic nerve in the left leg that's bothering him. Some days it's his arthritic knee or his lower spine, which he is certain has a crushed vertebra from 1995 when our son caught him by surprise by launching off the bed onto his back. Recently, the doctor told him that his blood sugar was a bit high too and that he needed to consider a low carb diet. Bagels were once his BFF but now he gets mad at me when I serve lasagna or offer him a banana muffin. He is often cranky and tired---which I understand---but I'm starting to feel like I'm living in an old folk's home.

     In true fly-on-the-wall fashion, here are some typical conversations we have about his health:

"If your back hurts that much, why not sleep with the heating pad on all night?"
"Oh sure, that's not dangerous at all.....a heating pad left on all night, then in the morning it's ashes to ashes...."

"This low carb diet is making me nuts. It was my turn to set up the donuts in the breakroom today, and it killed me that I couldn't eat one. I just started gnawing on my arm."

"I have a bone density test today. At my age, I'm worried they'll tell me I've already been deboned."

"The doctor said I should take CBD oil for my sciatic nerve pain. Does this mean my left leg will get high?"

"Help me unload the groceries from the car."
"That's funny you ask because my arms have been cut off. I can't help."
"What's even funnier is that you're about to have your head cut off if you DON'T help."

"Sitting in the waiting room at the vet's office this morning, I overhead someone talking about a dog with a bad eye and only three teeth."
"Sounds like they were describing you in ten years."

"Wow, the news is full of depressing stories. A white water rafting accident, an airplane malfunction and a carnival ride that broke down, injuring several people."
"Well, there's three activities I can cross off my retirement wish list."

"You know you're getting old when you hear 80's music playing at the grocery store and you think, Hmmm...I need to add that song to my playlist."

"Have you tried that new Facebook face App that ages you by 50 years?"
"I'm turning 63. If I did that app, the only photo I'd see is a skeleton with big eyebrows."

     Well, I for one refuse to let my age stop me (but I'm almost four years younger than him, so it's easy for me to say that). Just ignore my limp when you see me hobbling out of Zumba class, and don't bother looking in my medicine drawer ( I swear, the sore muscle salve and plantar fasciitis pads are his, not mine!!). Age IS just a number, right??

     See that photo below of the secret smile? That was my expression when I recently learned that a personal essay I submitted to the NEW YORK TIMES is going to be published in November!! I've pretty much been hyperventilating ever since I received the news. This is HUGE for me since NYT has been on my bucket list since I first started blogging in 2011. The other site I've coveted for years is McSweeney's, and as you might know by now, they published my first humor piece two weeks ago, so YAY!! My mum knew how important these two sites were to me, and she told me never to give up. Her advice---persistence---paid off. Love you, Mum, and miss you. I just wish you were here to celebrate with me.

Buzz around, see what you think, then click on these links for a peek into some other homes:

Baking In A Tornado        
Never Ever Give Up Hope   
Menopausal Mother           
Spatulas on Parade           
Bookworm in the Kitchen   


  1. I always love hearing about the conversations in your home, but some of those pictures alone tell some pretty fun stories.

  2. Love this one. Our bodies talk to us now. Not the way Olivia Newton John sang about in the 80's tho.

    You look great, Marcia. I'm so excited for you about your piece being published in NYT!! Omg, that is amazing. Loved your piece on McSweeney's too.

    1. Awwww thank you so much, Lisa. You have always been so supportive and I appreciate that. Glad you liked the McSweeney's piece, and I can't wait until November when I can share the NYT essay!!

  3. Damn I could hear my dad as I read this

  4. I, too, always enjoy your sense of humor. AND.....once again congrats on the published pieces. I always read them but they sometimes don't allow comments. Regarding your health, I know I have mentioned it before.....I'm ten years older than your hubby without any health issues. I can help you find optimum health. Just let me know.

    1. I don't have health issues--my husband has minor ones. He gets it taken care of, but I think he likes to complain a bit first, LOL.

  5. Happy to have happened onto your blog today. It sounds like things are always interesting (and funny) at your place! And, congratulations on your writing accomplishments!



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