Welcome to another edition of Fly On The Wall group blog postings, hosted by Karen of Baking In A Tornado. Today, four bloggers are welcoming you into their homes for a glimpse at what goes on behind closed doors.

     The fly buzzing around the Doyle house has witnessed a frenzy of holiday activity in preparation of Christmas Day. We've been shopping and baking and decorating like crazy, but more importantly, we've been spending time together in appreciation of who we are as a family.

     This year, Christmas is extra special with the addition of my second granddaughter. I was blessed to have my sweet Isabella, but now I am doubly blessed with angelic Alessandra....so much to be thankful for this holiday season!

     I've spent a few weekends baking with my family (and making a sugary mess of things):



     Got in some Christmas shopping and lunch with my oldest daughter. She brought Alessandra, who passed her first shopping excursion with flying colors!



     We did quite a bit of decorating----no small feat with the 23 large containers of holiday items that I had stored in the attic:


     And then there was one particularly poignant moment when I took a break from cookie baking to watch my oldest granddaughter playing in the backyard garden. She was wearing one of her mother's old dresses and when she stood under our arbor, I had to catch my breath. It was as if I was looking into a crystal ball, and there was my Izzy, twenty years from now on her wedding day. My eyes blurred with tears as I said a little prayer of thanks for the gift that is my granddaughters.


     Family is everything to me, and the people in these photos are the reason for my joy during the holiday season. They are my sanity when life becomes messy, and my heart when I feel their love surround me.





     From our house to yours, we wish you a Merry Christmas, a peaceful holiday season, and a happy New Year. See you in 2019!



 

     Many years ago after our dog and cat died within a year of one another, I didn't think I wanted anymore pets (other than the seven chinchillas, two hamsters, a flying squirrel, a guinea pig, two turtles and various fish that I already owned). Then one day I saw a photo of a pug on a local rescue website and I was hooked. We adopted Brewski right then and there, and he has been my special little guy for more than seven years. I fondly refer to him as "Diaper Boy," because---you guessed it----he wears doggy diapers and cannot be potty trained. Not many people would have patience for his habitual house peeing, but we do, which means he was sent to our home for a reason.

     We were so in love with Brewski that we decided he needed a female companion. Returning to the same online pug rescue site, we found our beautiful Savi girl. She has been with us for six years and is incredibly loving. She is also terribly spoiled, thus the nickname "Diva Princess." Savi needs to be on doggy chemo for the rest of her life due to some cancerous cells that had to be removed last year. She is doing great now, but again, I truly believe there was a reason she found her way to our home.


     After watching a gazillion videos on social media of pug puppies, I just knew I had to experience life while raising a puppy. We found our boy pug Yoda through a breeder in north Florida, and I was smitten the minute I looked into his mischievous brown eyes. He has been with us for 19 months now, and he is our wild child/fur baby. Yoda is full of energy and also sneaky as hell. He has earned his nickname "Stinkerpot," but that little guy makes me laugh and smile every single day.


     I've learned so much from my fur babies, who are a constant source of love and entertainment. Unlike teenagers, they don't care if their surroundings are inexpensive and they never talk back (if they did, we'd have a problem). Dogs don't care if they're not purebred or show quality because they don't waste time worrying about their looks. They're also willing to adapt to any environment as long as they're given lots of love.

     If you're a dog owner, pay attention. You just might learn something from your canine friend.

1. Get outside and enjoy the feel of the grass under your feet. We spend far too much time cooped up in our homes. The lure of social media is a mighty thing indeed, as is Netflix binging until we no longer remember what day it is. Go outside and get some fresh air.

2. Sleep....a lot. (This is my favorite lesson of all). Dogs are always well rested and HAPPY. If you're lucky enough to be able to grab a nap in the middle of the day, do it. Or sleep in late on the weekends. You're not being lazy; you're simply recharging your battery (at least that's what I tell people when they wake me up with a knock at the door and I answer them looking like a character from Dawn of the Dead).

3. Play catch and tug-of-war. After all that sleeping, the exercise will do your heart some good. This is especially helpful if you've been digging into the kibbles bag one too many times.

 4. Never leave your shit in anyone else's yard. In other words, don't dump your crap on other people. If you have a problem, learn to deal with it yourself and move on.

5. Wag your tail and lick your master's face when they get home. Well, I'm not sure your partner will appreciate having their face licked the minute they walk through the front door, but at least show them that they are loved and missed while they are gone.

6. Chew on things to calm yourself down. Take a deep breath and think about how your actions may affect others before you do something rash that you might later regret. I don't chew on rawhide bones to stay calm, but I do like to gnaw on pretzel sticks while I think things through. *I also chew on my fingernails, but this is not something I recommend since my cuticles look like small rodents have been gnawing on them.

7. Bark loudly to protect your family. Stand your ground and take care of your loved ones. Don't let anyone put you in danger, and be sure to ward off uninvited strangers (this includes the guy going door-to-door to pressure people into buying steaks out of a cooler in the back of his pickup truck).


8. Don't dwell on your mistakes. My dogs can leave a pile of poo on the living room floor and I'll yell at them like crazy. They'll hide the entire time I'm cleaning it up, but five minutes later, they're jumping up on my lap and giving me doggy kisses. They've already forgotten what they did wrong. I think it's time that I forget all the times I've purposely left the toilet paper roll empty in the hopes that my husband will actually change it one day.

9. Love unconditionally. Dogs don't hold a grudge and neither should you. They're compassionate, loyal, and dependable. They happily surrender to love, trusting you completely when they roll over on their backs for a belly rub. I tried doing that once with my husband, but he wanted more than just a belly rub. That's okay---I still love him unconditionally, even when he "mistakenly" eats the last slice of pepperoni pizza that I was saving for my lunch.

10. Do the things that make you happy. We spend so much of our life doing what we think is expected of us, and not what makes us smile. It doesn't have to be something grandiose or overly expensive. Joy can be found in the smallest things----reading a good book, catching up with an old friend, or watching a rain storm roll in. For me, it's sitting on my deck in the morning with a cup of coffee and watching the variety of birds that flock around my feeder. Well, that and watching the puppy chase off the stray cats that hang around the feeders.

     I've decided that my dogs are pretty smart, so with that in mind, I think I'll change the toilet paper roll and find someone's face to lick to let them know how much they're loved.


***WANT MORE MENO MAMA? I was recently featured on Sammiches and Psych Meds/Mock Mom with my midlife hipster-wanna-behttps://www.sammichespsychmeds.com/how-to-be-a-hipster-in-your-midlife-years/
list. You can read it here:

     I am THRILLED to be part of a new anthology, "Angel Bumps Hello From Heaven", compiled by my dear friend Anne Bardsley.
   
     Fifty writers from around the country have come together to share the heartwarming stories of their experiences with "Angel Bumps"---signs of reassurance received from their loved ones who have passed on. Anne describes an Angel Bump as "a luminous light in a dark room. Once you receive a sign from your loved one, you will never be the same. Knowing they are still so close will give you solace. The joy it brings is immeasurable."

     I'm sharing a portion of my own story that appears in Angel Bumps in the hopes that it will interest you enough in reading ALL of the stories in this lovely collection.


                       PENNIES FROM HEAVEN  


She comes to me in dreams, her smile radiant as she urges her horse up the side of Lone Mountain to a field of Indian Paintbrush. The wind brushes her long hair across her face as she studies the azure sky and points to a Red-tailed Hawk drifting overhead.

     This is the how I want to remember my older sister Cherie; a camera looped around her neck and a bird guide tucked in her back pocket.

     I want to remember her laughter when we were kids sitting in the back of the family station wagon and making silly faces at one another.

     I want to remember our phone conversations that went well into the night, long after my husband had turned out the lights. At times I had to muffle my laughter so that I didn't wake the rest of my sleeping family.

     I want to remember the warm cinnamon rolls she made on Sunday mornings that we shared over a cup of coffee in my backyard garden.

     I want to remember her gentle hands gliding across crisp sheets of white paper as she sketched magnificent birds of prey, her fingers stained from the pencils she used for shadowing their wings.

     I want to remember the summers we spent picking huckleberries in the mountains and the flowers we strung together to make daisy chains on a porch in Montana.

     What I don't want to remember is the night I watched a broken soul give up on life too soon; the woman in a hospital room who lay pale and unmoving under sheets as white as the pages from her sketch pad.

    My sister had an eating disorder. She was killing herself slowly, and no one in my family understood why it was happening, or how to help her. Cherie never had it easy; married and divorced twice, she was a single mother raising a rebellious teen and had to work long hours to make ends meet. By the time she reached the middle-age years, obesity had robbed her of living a normal life. Food replaced the love and fulfillment she sought but never found. It was the crutch that filled her emptiness. Loneliness and disappointment fed into her depression, preventing her from seeking the professional help that she needed. Something had broken inside her, leaving her heart cracked in too many places for anyone to fix.

     In the fall of 2009 at the age of 56, my sister succumbed to pneumonia after weeks of being sick. My family and I urged her to see a doctor when her symptoms became worse, but she was a stubborn woman, convinced that she could fight the illness with simple, over-the-counter medications.

     Cherie's son finally convinced her to check into the hospital once she started coughing up blood, but her lungs were already severely infected and had so much fluid in them that it made breathing nearly impossible. There was little the doctors could do to save her----the pneumonia, coupled with her obesity, was more than her body could handle. Her heart had become enlarged---three times the normal size---and one by one, her organs started shutting down.

     My sister died in the early morning hours as we stood praying by her bedside. It was still dark outside with only a few stars sparkling in the west like silver glitter scattered across a black velvet sky. The moon had slipped away, its shadow swallowed by a blanket of thick clouds.

     After Cherie's death, I was consumed with guilt for not forcing her to see a doctor earlier, and angry that she chose to give up without a fight. She left behind a son, a granddaughter, and a family who cherished her. It hurt to think that our love wasn't strong enough to give her the strength she needed to rise above the unhappiness that plagued her.

     I tried to ignore the terrible grief I felt, but there were subtle reminders of my sister everywhere. The Red-tailed Hawk that watched me each morning from the tall pine in my backyard; the smell of cinnamon in the kitchen; the cardboard boxes her son had given me that were filled with her cookbooks, the glass figurines she'd collected, and a few articles of clothing that still held her scent of sandalwood and vanilla. But the most painful reminder of her absence was the sadness I saw mirrored in her granddaughter's eyes.

     The finality of Cherie's death didn't hit me until a few months later when I found her favorite purse inside one of the boxes her son had given to me. I pulled it out, touched the soft, dark leather and opened the flap. Inside was a small cache of memories: my sister's comb, a few barrettes, pens and several sheets of tissues. She had terrible allergies and never left the house without plenty of tissues.

     I held the comb in my hand and felt a tide of grief wash over me, the pain so acute that it brought me to my knees. The memories unleashed a flood of tears that cracked the dam I'd built around my heart. The walls came tumbling down, and nothing could stop the deep ache that left a hole inside me that no one else could fill.

     For weeks I walked around in state of numbness and disbelief. Even though other members of my family tried to comfort me, there was no solace in the fact that I would never see my sister again. I felt disconnected from everyone and wanted time alone to work through my grief.

     And that's when the first penny appeared.

     It was old, the date barely legible on the worn, copper surface. I thought it was odd that I woke one morning to a penny sitting on my nightstand---I never carried pennies, and neither did my husband. I had been crying heavily the night before while thinking of Cherie. I wanted to believe that she'd found the peace she was looking for, and every day I had prayed for a sign of reassurance from her.

     Later that afternoon, I found more pennies in the house. They appeared in the middle of my living room floor, by the kitchen sink, across my desk, on top of the couch cushions and on the windowsill.

     Pennies started cropping up everywhere, and I soon noticed a pattern in their frequency. Whenever something upset me, a penny would magically appear. The day my husband lost his job and I was fearful of our future, pennies appeared in abundance. The same thing happened when my mother became ill and I was consumed with worry. I found the pennies everywhere while she was in recovery.
 
     I didn't understand the significance of the coins. They seemed to pop up out of nowhere whenever I became agitated or depressed, and I went so far as to scold my husband for dropping them around the house. He promised me that he had nothing to do with them and admitted the he had been finding quite a few himself.

     The mystery of the pennies continued for several months until I discovered.......

WANT TO READ MORE?? YOU CAN BUY THE BOOK HERE: https://www.amazon.com/Angel-Bumps-Heaven-Anne-Bardsley/dp/0997587113/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1506474762&sr=1-1-spell

     My husband and I recently celebrated our 32nd wedding anniversary, but I'll admit, reaching this milestone hasn't always been easy. We've had our share of trials and tribulations that have put our relationship to the test. Yet somehow, we've always landed on our feet and back in each other's arms.

     Since the beginning, my husband has proven that he has the "staying power" necessary to make our marriage work, and that he takes his wedding vow, "For Better Or Worse," very seriously. Obviously trust, understanding, respect for one another, loyalty, good communication skills and patience play a big part in a lasting relationship, but it goes beyond that. In many cases, it's the little things that are the glue that keep a couple together. Forget about sappy Hallmark cards or the wilted flowers from the refrigerated section of the grocery store. If your man is truly in it for the long haul with you, he's proven it by doing some of the following things:

1.) Digging a slippery contact out of your eye when its rolled too far back under the lid for you to retrieve....even though it's 3:00 a.m. and makes him incredibly squeamish.

2.) Goes to the convenient store in the middle of the night to grab a box of tampons for you even though he's the only man in line without a six-pack of beer and a case of Marlboro cigarettes.

3.) Walks the dogs when its raining outside so that you don't have to get wet (or get peed on).

4.) Gives up his tickets to a hockey playoff game to stay home and help you eradicate the colony of lice that have taken up residence on your seven-year-old's head.

5.)  Plunges the unidentifiable thing in the toilet that NO ONE claims is theirs.

6.) Does his best to throw something together for dinner when you've had a bad day and can't move from the couch. The meal may be made with an unearthed, frozen hunk of pork roast that you could have sworn you discarded a year ago, but that's okay, because everything tastes good smothered in ketchup.

7.) Endures watching a girly movie with you and isn't afraid to tap into his feminine side by shedding a few tears during the show (or maybe he's just crying because you ate the last of the buttered popcorn).

8.) Doesn't mind picking up the kids from their after school activities when you're running late. Never mind that he also enjoys embarrassing the kiddos by dancing in his seat when a Pitbull song comes on the radio.

9.) Kills every cockroach and spider you find in the house. This has nothing to do with the fact that your loud shrieks break the sound barrier and cause his ears to bleed whenever an insect crosses your path.

10.) Tells you that you're beautiful even when you wake up looking like an angry porcupine.

11.) Offers to clean the house when you're frantically working to meet a deadline. If he rearranges the kitchen and switches everything around in the pantry, just smile and thank him. Does it really matter if your favorite pasta is hidden behind a large box of mothballs?

12.) Holds your hair away from your face when you're barfing the questionable sushi you had at the all-you-can-eat Japanese buffet he insisted on trying.

13.) Retires to the couch for the evening so that his snoring won't keep you awake. Then again, he might just be afraid that you'll cover his face with a pillow if he snores while sleeping next to you.

14.) Scratches that place on your back that you can never reach when it itches. But don't be surprised if his hand wonders elsewhere during the process. He might have an itch that needs scratching, too.

15.) Lets you drive the newer car in the family while he putters to work in the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang car that should have been put out of its misery ten years ago.



     I've heard countless women complain that their men don't bring them flowers or candy to show their appreciation. Ladies, you can keep your roses and chocolates. I'd rather have a man who finds angry porcupines attractive and has great plunger skills.



***WANT MORE MENO MAMA? I am thrilled to have my first article featured on Parent.co this week! Check out my funny NEW post on dealing with the dreaded HEAD LICE! Eek! You can read it here: http://www.parent.co/the-5-stages-of-head-lice-from-denial-to-depression/ 

     I've been absent from the blogosphere this week due to a family crisis. My dear mother had to be rushed to the hospital for a torn aorta and needed emergency surgery. She's an incredibly brave and strong woman, but this latest episode really frightened me. The experience made me realize that as our parents age, we have to accept that their health is more fragile than ever before, and that we need to cherish the gift of time that we have with them. For this reason, I'm unable to offer you a new blog post today, but in honor of my mother, I'd like to share some links to a few of my favorite posts that were written with her in mind.

     The good news is that my mother made it through her stent surgery and is now in recovery. Prayers and positive thoughts would be very much appreciated. Those of you who still have your mothers here with you, please give them a hug and tell them how much they mean to you. They will never tire of hearing you say, "I love you, Mom."



THE TRUTH ABOUT MOTHERHOOD

MIRROR MIRROR ON THE WALL, I AM MY MOTHER AFTER ALL (featured on Bonbon Break)

THE INVISIBLE GENERATION

IF MY CLOSET COULD TALK  (featured on Purple Clover)

 
    One of my favorite things to do during the summer when things slow down a bit, is to get caught up on my reading. I have stacks and stacks of books that I'm dying to read, and most are written by my fellow writer friends. There's something magical about getting cozy on the couch with a cup of coffee in one hand a good book in the other.

 
    I've been through the toddler trenches---four times, to be exact, and I'm happy to say that I survived unscathed. Okay, that may not be entirely true. My memories are blurred. Maybe I'm just suffering from PTSD (Post Toddler Stress Disorder), which explains why I don't remember much from those mind-numbing years of motherhood. But now that I have a young grandchild, it's all coming back in waves. I'm remembering what I didn't like about those years, but I'm also feeling immense pride in my daughter for being such a patient mother amidst the toddler turbulence she's currently experiencing. I'm happy that I don't have to deal with that kind of stress anymore on a daily basis (just on the weekends when I'm on babysitting duty, thank you very much).  

     If you have older children, you can finally relax and celebrate all of these reasons why it's great to no longer be raising a toddler:


1. BEDTIME: You get to skip the nightly ritual of putting a cranky, overly-tired toddler into pajamas while she's flailing around on the floor----which is about as much fun as trying to put long johns on a slippery octopus.

2. FOOD WARS: You won't have to smother every vegetable you serve with ketchup or cheese sauce and then lie to your child by telling them it tastes like chicken nuggets.

3. POOP: No more running to the bathroom at breakneck speeds when you hear an excited voice shout, "MOMMY, I DID A BIG POOPIE!" If you don't get there early enough to help them wipe, you'll be smelling butt vapors the rest of the day.

4. PROPERTY DAMAGE: You won't have to live in fear that your precious little angel will scribble all over your expensive baseball card collection with a waterproof marker.  

5. TANTRUMS: No more dealing with meltdowns over a sandwich that has not been cut into the shape of Simba's head, or the entire Lion King pride, for that matter.

6. LACK OF SLEEP: You'll no longer be prodded awake at 5:00 a.m. by a toddler who needs to pee, then claims to be thirsty and hungry. They rarely go back to sleep after they've made the long trek to the toilet and back. Whenever this happens, it's like having a little person running around all morning cracked out on Kool-Aid and lollipops. Be thankful that the only thing waking you up now is an alarm clock.

7.  ANNOYING KID SHOWS: No more whiney Caillou, Yo Gabba Gabba, Dora The Explorer or Bubble Guppies invading your living room each morning (which is far worse on your mental state if the coffee hasn't kicked in yet).

8. NOISE CONTROL: You can ditch the kazoos, electronic alphabet games, talking storybooks and mini drum sets. You might even be able to ditch the ear plugs too, unless your have a teen at home who loves to blast dubstep in decibels loud enough to make your ears bleed.

9. MESSES: The word "toddler" should be synonymous with"twister", because once these little human beings have been awake for a more than thirty minutes, your house looks like its been picked up by a tornado and tossed upside down. Now that your kids are older, you don't have to worry about developing curvature of the spine from bending down all day to pick up their toys.

10. OUTDOOR "FUN": Your thighs will no longer be chafed from the slide at the park, nor will you be forced to squeeze your butt into a swing the size of tight sling shot that's ready to launch you into outer space.

     Despite all of these things, if I didn't have my sweet grandchild to cuddle and love, I'd be missing out on all the good things that come with raising a toddler. They love unconditionally, expressing unbridled affection for family and friends alike. They're quick to forgive, trust easily, and are fiercely loyal.

     Toddlers also have an insatiable curiosity and a zest for life that most of us have lost. They find immeasurable joy in the simplest things, whether it's running through a sprinkler, digging their toes in the sand, dancing to silly songs or hugging their favorite animal. Every meltdown and struggle is worth the sound of their infectious laughter and the light in their eyes when you walk into the room. Their unvarnished souls are a glimpse into what our lives are intended to be---joyous, unfettered and filled with boundless love.


 

     The dictionary defines a mother as "a female parent; one known for providing care and protection over someone else; a person who expresses maternal affection to others."

      My definition of a mother goes beyond the simple terms in the dictionary. Mothers are the key component in binding a family together with love, generosity, compassion and insight. Their fierce loyalty and support is unmatched. A mother encourages her children to fly by putting her own dreams aside and building a safe platform to help launch the dreams of her children.      

     When I was a grumpy teenager, I never gave a second thought to the sacrifices my mother made to keep our family running smoothly. I took for granted every ride to band practice, every home cooked meal, the new clothes in my closet and the clean sheets I slept on each night. I never considered how she spent her time, whether she was happy or not, or if her feelings had been hurt by something I might have done. I was too deep in the throes of teenage angst to notice that I wasn't sitting alone on that bumpy ride through adolescence and anxiety.

     None of it clicked until I had children of my own. Being a mother altered the lens I had previously viewed my life through, and I realized how skewed my perception of my own mother had been. It changed the way I thought about myself and my family, and taught me to look a little closer at the ideals that had been instilled in me since childhood. My role in the world had been redefined, and the only person to guide me through those times of uncertainty was my mother.

     Patient, kind, wise and unselfish, my mother is everything a mother should be. We have disagreed, laughed, cried, and held hands through moments of unimaginable loss, yet she is always there for me, that safe harbor with its blinking light to guide me home during a storm.

      I've learned my share of lessons over the years after raising four children. First and foremost, my mother really DID know what was best. But I've also learned that mothers are not perfect, and that we make mistakes just like everyone else. My standards may not always meet those of my children, and undoubtedly, they'll rebel when they feel they've been treated unfairly. What they don't realize yet is how much of my heart they own, and that unkind words and actions really do hurt, even though I may not always show it. Nothing swells my heart more than their love, and yet nothing has the power to wound me more than their stinging judgment and criticism when they're angry. Until they have children of their own, they cannot understand the level of profound and all-encompassing love that parenthood brings, as well as the difficult and often painful lessons that are learned along the way.

     As much as I regret the days when I ignored my mother to pursue my own interests, I feel doubly blessed now to be able to spend time with her. The veil of youthful self-indulgence has been lifted, and I see my mother for who she really is; a woman of faith, wisdom, strength, compassion and abundant love. She is, and always has been, my shelter, my proudest supporter, and the one person who has loved me unconditionally, no matter how many times I let her down. When people say that I remind them of her, I'm honored. Being compared to the woman I'm so proud to call my mother is the best compliment I could ever receive.

     I hope that one day my children will think of me in the same way, and no matter how many trials they may face in the future, that they'll always feel my love shining through them like a beacon in a storm.

Sometimes things snap perfectly into place like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.

Sometimes they don't.

There are days when we feel blessed to be able breathe deep the sweet smell of spring, to hold the hand of someone we love, and to fall into bed at night with the peace of mind that everything is working out the way that it should.

And then there are the other days…..the ones that are tough to get through. Life feels as though it has become unhinged, a crooked painting that can't be straightened, a dull ache in the pit of our stomachs that keeps us awake at night. The tightening in our hearts make us wonder if things will ever be right again.

When certain pieces of the puzzle don't fit together, we try to squeeze them into place even though we know they'll never fit. If one of the pieces is missing from the box, the puzzle is worthless. Instead of throwing it out, we place it back on the shelf in the hopes that one day the missing piece will appear when we least expect it.

People are like puzzle pieces. Each one has different edges, different colors, and they don't always align to make a unified picture. Their shapes may look similar to one another, fooling us into thinking they're a perfect fit. We push piece after piece into the puzzle until we find the one that fills the empty space.

Once the puzzle is completed, we stand back and admire the picture we've created out of dozens of colorful, cardboard pieces.

But sometimes, the picture doesn't meet our expectations. It's not as vibrant as the photo on the cover of the box, and lacks the depth of the original print it was intended to reflect.

Some people are like this, too. They lack the depth of compassion and the vibrancy of love. Their muted colors dull the image that is nothing more than a cheap imitation of the original print.

A puzzle can never be whole once its pieces are broken or missing. The empty spaces leave the picture incomplete, its odd configuration a reminder of what has been lost. You have a choice; you can search for the missing piece that will complete the puzzle, or you can discard it.

The choice is yours.

I recently had lunch with a friend I hadn't seen in a long time, and it was so refreshing to get out of the house for a day. Being a writer, I sometimes forget that there's a whole world outside of the blogging bubble that I live in. I've always fostered my online friendships, but I needed some quality bonding time with my gal pal.  

We sat in the booth at the restaurant for four hours and shared lots of laughs, gossip, wine and some great Mexican food. It was such a nice change of pace for me to get away from book edits, emails and blog postings. Being with her reminded me of how much I miss the days when I had the freedom to attend spontaneous gatherings with friends over dinner and drinks. Lately, I find myself apologizing to the people I haven't been able to spend enough time with. But here's the cool thing---my closest buddies understand how crazy my life is right now with the upcoming book release, and they don't judge me for not having time to hang out. They know I would love nothing more than to spend a few hours sharing funny stories and laughter over a good bottle of pinot grigio, but they also respect the time constraints of my writing career.

These ladies are my tribe. What makes us best friends? We don't judge each other, lie to one another or gossip behind each other's back. My gal pals send me funny pictures of baby owls and squirrels when I'm having a bad day because they KNOW what will cheer me up. The same goes in the blogging community----my closest buddies and I share each other's writing and are happy for one another's success. It's all about support----not a competition to see who has more readers, more features or more awards. Sharing is synonymous with spreading the love when it comes to blogging, and my friends (both online and off) are an integral part of that success.

In the spirit of friendship, I'm sharing another one of my favorite posts that originally appeared on In The Powder Room. This is dedicated to all my besties out there…you know who you are.

1. She doesn't tag you in unflattering pictures on Facebook and is happy to crop the photo if you think your hips look enormous.
   
   
2. Tells you if you need to pop a mint, clip your nose hairs, or pluck your unibrow. Got spinach in your teeth? She'll help you dig it out. She'll also tell you if your arm pits smell and let you borrow her roll-on deodorant.
   
   
3. She'll keep up with you shot for shot at the bar and never judge you for getting sloppy drunk or crying over the man who broke your heart. She'll also hold your hair out of your face while you pray to the porcelain god.
   
   
4. Tells you if your new jeans really do make your butt look big.
   
   
5. She has your back at parties and will warn you if the guy you're flirting with has “douchebag” written across his forehead. She'll also alert you of any exes prowling the room and goes into guard dog mode if he comes near.
   
   
6. Accompanies you to awkward appointments like a bikini wax or pap smear.
   
   
7. She's being honest about your new haircut by asking if your stylist's name is Edward Scissorhands.
   
   
8. When you need to break your diet with snack cakes or a tub of cheese balls, she'll break her own diet too and help you eat the junk food just so you won't feel guilty.
   
   
9. She shares equally embarrassing stories of sexual mishaps in the bedroom, which makes you feel a whole lot better about the time you let some gas slip during an intimate moment.
   
   
10. Never tells your husband how much you REALLY spent on that new dress.
    
    
11. Your periods sync up, enabling you to sympathize with one another when you flip the switch into bitch mode. 
    
    
12. Accompanies you to public restrooms and doesn't care if you pee in front of her.  If you don't make it to the toilet on time and have an accident in her car, she's okay with that, too.

    
    
    

    
    
    ****Want more Meno Mama? This week I had a post featured on Humor Outcasts. You can read it here:  http://humoroutcasts.com/2014/if-i-were-a-rich-man/