Friday, June 12, 2015

10 Reasons Why I'm Glad I'm No Longer Raising A Toddler

 
    I've been through the toddler trenches---four times, to be exact, and I'm happy to say that I survived unscathed. Okay, that may not be entirely true. My memories are blurred. Maybe I'm just suffering from PTSD (Post Toddler Stress Disorder), which explains why I don't remember much from those mind-numbing years of motherhood. But now that I have a young grandchild, it's all coming back in waves. I'm remembering what I didn't like about those years, but I'm also feeling immense pride in my daughter for being such a patient mother amidst the toddler turbulence she's currently experiencing. I'm happy that I don't have to deal with that kind of stress anymore on a daily basis (just on the weekends when I'm on babysitting duty, thank you very much).  

     If you have older children, you can finally relax and celebrate all of these reasons why it's great to no longer be raising a toddler:


1. BEDTIME: You get to skip the nightly ritual of putting a cranky, overly-tired toddler into pajamas while she's flailing around on the floor----which is about as much fun as trying to put long johns on a slippery octopus.

2. FOOD WARS: You won't have to smother every vegetable you serve with ketchup or cheese sauce and then lie to your child by telling them it tastes like chicken nuggets.

3. POOP: No more running to the bathroom at breakneck speeds when you hear an excited voice shout, "MOMMY, I DID A BIG POOPIE!" If you don't get there early enough to help them wipe, you'll be smelling butt vapors the rest of the day.

4. PROPERTY DAMAGE: You won't have to live in fear that your precious little angel will scribble all over your expensive baseball card collection with a waterproof marker.  

5. TANTRUMS: No more dealing with meltdowns over a sandwich that has not been cut into the shape of Simba's head, or the entire Lion King pride, for that matter.

6. LACK OF SLEEP: You'll no longer be prodded awake at 5:00 a.m. by a toddler who needs to pee, then claims to be thirsty and hungry. They rarely go back to sleep after they've made the long trek to the toilet and back. Whenever this happens, it's like having a little person running around all morning cracked out on Kool-Aid and lollipops. Be thankful that the only thing waking you up now is an alarm clock.

7.  ANNOYING KID SHOWS: No more whiney Caillou, Yo Gabba Gabba, Dora The Explorer or Bubble Guppies invading your living room each morning (which is far worse on your mental state if the coffee hasn't kicked in yet).

8. NOISE CONTROL: You can ditch the kazoos, electronic alphabet games, talking storybooks and mini drum sets. You might even be able to ditch the ear plugs too, unless your have a teen at home who loves to blast dubstep in decibels loud enough to make your ears bleed.

9. MESSES: The word "toddler" should be synonymous with"twister", because once these little human beings have been awake for a more than thirty minutes, your house looks like its been picked up by a tornado and tossed upside down. Now that your kids are older, you don't have to worry about developing curvature of the spine from bending down all day to pick up their toys.

10. OUTDOOR "FUN": Your thighs will no longer be chafed from the slide at the park, nor will you be forced to squeeze your butt into a swing the size of tight sling shot that's ready to launch you into outer space.

     Despite all of these things, if I didn't have my sweet grandchild to cuddle and love, I'd be missing out on all the good things that come with raising a toddler. They love unconditionally, expressing unbridled affection for family and friends alike. They're quick to forgive, trust easily, and are fiercely loyal.

     Toddlers also have an insatiable curiosity and a zest for life that most of us have lost. They find immeasurable joy in the simplest things, whether it's running through a sprinkler, digging their toes in the sand, dancing to silly songs or hugging their favorite animal. Every meltdown and struggle is worth the sound of their infectious laughter and the light in their eyes when you walk into the room. Their unvarnished souls are a glimpse into what our lives are intended to be---joyous, unfettered and filled with boundless love.


***Want more Meno Mama? This week I was featured on Motherhood May Cause Drowsiness: Mom Stories From The Trenches, with an excerpt from my book, Who Stole My Spandex? Check out my post, "Born This Way (And Up All Night) HERE: http://motherhoodmaycausedrowsiness.com/2015/06/08/born-this-way-and-up-all-night-by-marcia-of-menopausal-mother/

 

56 comments:

  1. Awe Marcia, the good and bad of toddlers, I think we all need to be reminded of the good... I think there was more of that...xox

    I reminded myself often with Valentina to appreciate the moments, as I remembered how fast they went by Andrea.

    Yay to no more Calliou though... that was tough.. lol

    I'd live to enjoy my grandchildren more... they are much to far away so I only get pics or videos.... ♡

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    1. Oh Launna, I wish your grandkids lived closer, too. I know how much you would enjoy them and I'm betting you are a fantastic grandmother!!!

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  2. Aaawwww!
    My son is a first grader, and already I feel all the things you describe are long gone. Also I feel they weren't THAT bad. Except the sleep deprivation.
    You've had boys and girls, do you feel either were worse in terms of tantrums?

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    1. My youngest son was by far THE WORST when it came to tantrums, He was also the most difficult to feed, to get to sleep, etc. Not sure why the other three were easier.

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  3. Seriously...seriously...I hate the toddler stage for all the reasons you mentioned. And..and I do miss that stage for the unconditional love and infectious laughter. How they come and cuddle for no reason and the giggles....nothing can beat that :)

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    1. Absolutely true! I'll weather the tantrums for the hugs and kisses!

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  4. I love this Marcia!! I was nodding along to your list... I JUST was telling my friends at the pool how I'm SO glad we are DONE with the little years, as all these toddlers were running around and flailing in the pool, having tantrums and tearing apart water toys. Ah... peace at last!!

    Your ending was precious...

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    1. Thank you so much, Chris. I'm very happy I no longer have to deal with the "terrible twos"---or at least when I do, I get to give the child back to their parents, ha-ha!

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  5. I appreciated the humor in each one on your list but the only ones I remember were number 3 (poop) and number 7 (kid shows). I'm staying at my 3 year old grandson's home this week and loving every single minute. He is never exhausting (his other grandma and two great-grandmas agree). Guess we lucked out. The paragraph you wrote warrants repeating - Toddlers also have an insatiable curiosity and a zest for life that most of us have lost. They find immeasurable joy in the simplest things, whether it's running through a sprinkler, digging their toes in the sand, dancing to silly songs or hugging their favorite animal. Every meltdown and struggle is worth the sound of their infectious laughter and the light in their eyes when you walk into the room. Their unvarnished souls are a glimpse into what our lives are intended to be---joyous, unfettered and filled with boundless love.

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    1. Awww…thank you, Carol! That's my favorite part of the post, too, because it's honestly how I feel about my little grand baby <3

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  6. This is so perfect. It's amazing to me, how different this all looks from the eyes of a Grandmother :) So much easier!

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    1. Isn't it??? Because we get to send them home if they misbehave!

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  7. I love number 10. I'm back there again with my grandson!

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    1. Make sure your thighs don't get chafed, LOL!

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  8. Oh gosh, I only got through those years with lots of wine and Xanax. The teenage years have been a breeze in comparison. I always jokingly tell my kids that I want to check out before they evah make me a Grandma 'cause I just don't have the stamina.

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    1. Make sure they NEVER call you "Grandma", either. That makes me feel old. My grand baby calls me "Nonie" and I like that much better!!

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  9. Ha! Now you're talking Marcia! Although my son is almost 5 now, he's not much different from your granddaughter:) You had me laughing so hard I almost burned our fish sticks for dinner. I'm sure my son won't like it that they're burn- no matter how much ketchup I'll put on it:))))) Love
    Abby

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    1. You are AWESOME Abby! Your comment made me snicker! (hope the fish sticks turned out okay!!)

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  10. Mine aren't toddlers yet, but while I'm sitting here reading this my house is a total wreck while I babysit the twins so my daughter can sneak in a much-needed nap!! Cleanliness is overrated haha!

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    1. I can't even BEGIN to imagine what it's like watching over twin toddlers!!!

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  11. You've reminded me of several occasions when our son was a toddler. That was a long time ago.

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    1. I have forgotten sooooo much, but last weekend when I was struggling to get my granddaughter into her jammies, it got me thinking about all the stuff I DON'T miss with toddlers….and a blog post was born!

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  12. Ah, the list! I had forgotten most of those, or maybe it's my senior brain fading my past. I don't miss the chaos a toddler brings, but I can't wait to be a grandmother either. Thanks for a very fun post and for joining us at #MidLifeLuv link-up, we're very glad to have you!
    Kimberly
    http://FiftyJewels.com

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    1. Thank you again for stopping by, Kimberly--I really appreciate it! Yes, this list serves as a reminder of how fortunate we are not to be in the throes of toddlerhood anymore!

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  13. I think I struggled most with lack of sleep and lack of control of my time. Parenting toddlers means that your agenda comes second most of the time. I was just thinking today that as much as I loved my little children, I sure am enjoying them now that they are adults!

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    1. It's soooo much easier--and the cool thing about them being adults is that they become your best friend!

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  14. Still there for the second generation. What's an alarm clock . . .?

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    1. Ha-Ha! I know---you wake up with the roosters, right?

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  15. Yes to all of these. People ask if I'm going to have another kid and I'm all, "I wouldn't have the patience!"

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    1. My hubs tried to convince me that three children was enough, but I was determined to have another boy…and I did. He has been hell on wheels ever since!!

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  16. I think you've been a successful mom when not only have you survived the toddler years, but you've raised a child who's rocking the toddler years with their own child.

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  17. Oh yeah I remember those day oh so well, I have Summer only occasional when Kathy has no one else, I do have Blain 3 or 4 nights a week and Leo 1 night a week but they are older now thankfully

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    1. Oh that's right---I remember reading your posts about having the kids over! You are an awesome grandmother! :)

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  18. I was reading this earlier while my husband and I were watching Netflix. This list is so funny. We don't have kids yet, but I've done my fair share of babysitting and all of this is so true. EVERY kid I babysit wants me to get my butt in a swing the size of my foot or slide down the painful kiddie slides. And don't get me started on Doc McStuffins and these horribly annoying kid shows you have to watch with them. Why are they so loud?? I don't recall Mr. Rogers ever being loud. I'm in for a treat when we have kids!!

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    1. Good point! Kid shows ARE loud! I guess they figure they'll keep the kids' attention focused on the screen better. But it is soooooo annoying!

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  19. Toddlers are what I do - Call me crazy but I have to admit they are my favorite age, I guess that explains why I'm still working, 20+ years, in a developmentally delayed preschool.

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    1. Bless you! It takes a special kind of person full of love and patience to teach and work with young children!

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  20. So Hilarious & Identifiable....
    and yet, insightful and beautiful! xxx

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    1. Thank you. Although cranky toddlers sometimes bring out the worst in us, I think they mostly bring out the best in us,

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  21. My son is almost six and still is a total slob who plays with a million toys and leaves them out. HAHA to the swing at the playground being like a tight slingshot! And AWWW to your adorable grandbaby!

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    1. Thank you, Kristi, I really adore my little munchkin,

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  22. Sounds like it's a battle between loving that era or just surviving it! Now you can kick back with some boozy drinks and take in all the freedom.

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  23. I'm with you - I think I've blocked out all the bad parts of toddler parenthood :)! I have to admit that I am looking forward to being a grandma - especially because you get to give them back!

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    1. Isn't that the truth! It really is rewarding though to be on the other side of parenthood now and seeing the next generation unfold.

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  24. Love your humorous take on toddlers. Hubby and I chose the childfree life and now I remember why. ☺

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    1. Right???? I have several friends who chose not to have children, and they are quite happy. The freedom is AWESOME!

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  25. My daughter is 18 and just bought a Ducktales movie. Still loves her cartoons, but now I don't have to watch with her.

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    1. There are very few animated movies I'm willing to watch nowadays….

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  26. Miles is 9 and I still have to deal with some of this. Oy! I'm in no hurry for him to grow up and start ignoring me, but when every meal is no longer an ordeal and I don't have to listen to 30 minute dissertations about Minecraft, I'll breath a huge sigh of relief. ;)

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    1. I am sooo grateful I missed out on the whole mindcraft thing…..

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  27. This is beautiful,Marcia! It made my day :) I don't miss those years but I do love the pictures that are slowly fading. The pictures also in my mind of times and moments of pure joy. The tantrums? well, I'd rather forget those but I know some adults who act that way and don't provide any of the joy to go with it. LOL. Beautiful pic at the end of you, your daughter and the little one!

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    1. Thank you so much, Lisa! Yeah, I know some adults who still have tantrums too…..and it's not a pretty site.

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  28. I get to relive those days with my own grandchildren and the question I keep asking myself, as I pat myself on the back, is, How did I get through those years?

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    1. Right?!? I still have no clue how I raised four kids. At one point I had four kids all under the age of eight living in my house!!

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