Today I'm thrilled to introduce you to my guest writer, Lisa Nolan, editor and publisher of Monkey Star Press! I'm also honored to be a part of her humor anthology, Motherhood May cause Drowsiness: Mom Stories From The Trenches (you can also visit her website HERE). Today she's sharing her five bedtime survival tips for all the sleep-deprived moms out there. Please welcome Lisa with lots of comment love and shares. Thanks!
Where Moths Go To Die: Five Bedtime Survival Tips For Moms
At
night before I go to bed I shut my computer off and grab a book to
read from my pile of library books. Then, my black kitten (who is
almost a cat) slinks in from the yard like a slow-motion shadow,
wide-eyed, with a fluttering moth in his mouth. He brings his
treasure under my bed and bats it around. I try and rescue it by
getting down on my hands and knees on the beige, dog-hair covered
carpet. I am not upset (although my hubby does a freak out). The moth
and my cat are doing what is natural when the moon comes out.
But
am I doing what is natural at the end of my day? I’m not batting a
moth around, but I seriously doubt my nighttime habits are “natural”.
And what does that mean? How do I know what’s normal, what’s true
to human nature in this modern, high tech world? Maybe if I took away
the TV, the computer, and the smart phone after dusk. Then what?
How
about doing some p.m. housework? Should I be washing dishes, by that
I mean loading the dishwasher, or maybe I should be washing them by
hand? OK, how about exercise? Nah. Ain’t gonna happen. Should I be
baking something like bread to serve at breakfast?
What
about writing? Not on my unnatural computer, but what about in my
journal? (Aren’t writers supposed to be doing that anyway? Every
day or night? Consistently?)
What
did my mom do at night before bedtime? And was that true to human
nature? She was a single mom working a full time job so she prepared
for the next day: she set out her color-coordinated clothes and
accessories: a navy pant suit with matching low-heeled shoes, faux
pearl necklace and earrings, and a brown-bag lunch with carrots and
tuna fish. Nature or not she was the bread winner, the only bread
winner, so it was a matter of survival.
Are
we mom supposed to be doing what’s important for our survival?
The
moth, a night-flying insect attracted to light and heat, is trying to
survive under my bed from a cat just going by his instincts (and
having an evening snack). What do we moms need to do at bedtime?
After all, isn’t survival of the fittest?
So
here are my five bedtime survival tips for moms:
1.
Dim the lights so you won’t see the dust on the furniture or your
over-flowing laundry baskets, causing you to go on an all-night
laundry and dusting binge.
2.
Your computer is off limits (and your smart phone) unless you are
chatting on Facebook or reading using your Kindle app. It’s
survival of the brain, too! Let’s not deprive it of social
emotional connections!
3.
Go and check in on your sleeping angels, for tomorrow they will be
awakened little monster-tantrum throwers, or chatter boxes in
cookie-survival mode.
4.
Now it’s time to get ready for the next day. Get out your jogging
shoes because you’ll be chasing your toddler at the park (not
because you are playing a game but because your tot picked up some
trash on the ground, again, and won’t let you have it).
5.
Fill up your water bottle because you are not drinking enough water
(maybe because drinking so much water makes you run to the bathroom
all day long)!
OK,
my dear readers, now it’s your turn! Leave a comment and tell us
your survival tips for moms when the moon is out!
Want
to read more stories by sleep-challenged moms, stories that will make
you laugh, shed a tear or two, inspire you, and make you feel like
you are NOT alone in your sleep-deprived, post-baby world? Be sure to
check out Motherhood
May
Cause Drowsiness: Mom Stories from the Trenches!
“From
start to finish, this book is a gem. I can’t think of a mother who
shouldn’t read it, whether you have a newborn or grown children,
you will totally relate to these funny and heartwarming stories. This
second edition includes 18 new essays from some amazing authors.
Having bought the first Motherhood
May Cause Drowsiness,
I was delighted to read this new edition. One of my favorite quotes
from the book: ‘Organic homemade cakes made out of kale and
promises.’ This book is funny and then funnier.”—Stephanie
Marsh of We
Don’t Chew Glass.
Lisa
Nolan
touts herself as a supermom with a second-hand cape and an empty
glass of wine. She is the editor and publisher at Monkey Star Press
and is working on three parent humor anthologies at the moment. (Lisa
thinks she might be a little bit insane, but in a good way--we hope.)
She’s craft challenged, a lousy housekeeper, a great cook, and a
dedicated locavore. She blogs about Montessori and writes mom lit and
memoir. Lisa is also a book publisher, mom to a DS child, a 3-6 and
6-9 Montessori trained teacher...and she often asks herself the
question “Wait, where am I?” You can find her at Monkey
Star Press,
and Facebook
and Twitter.
Photo
credit: evilpeacock
/ Foter/
CC
BY-NC-SA
***UPDATE: In honor of the upcoming Father's Day, Meno Mama has a post up on TODAY Show parents. Would love some votes if possible! Please share with your friends too if you can. Thank you so much!!!http://community.today.com/parentingteam/post/my-fathers-chair
I'm so happy to be a guest on your blog today Marcia! It's been a while! How far we've come! You're the best!
ReplyDeleteLove having you here and everyone loves you!
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ReplyDeleteI forgot how sleep deprived I was by the time my second daughter came and add peri menapausal with that... I rarely get more than a couple of broken hours of sleep per night.... I've been known to go to bed by 8:30... I'm lucky my 12 year old goes to bed then too... lol
ReplyDeleteThis was a good post, totally true for motherhood... xox
Thanks Launna! I just have one child, and he always slept like a champ! Me! Ha! No way Jose!
DeleteThis book sounds really funny! I can definitley relate.
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting!
DeleteWhen the kids were babies and toddlers they had a favourite stuffed animal (still do) and a soother. It was like a sleep formula soother + bear = sleep. All was good if we had both of those things. But, if not?! Look out!
ReplyDeleteMy son got attached to one of his sock puppets at the age of six months, but goodness forbid if it ended up on the floor or buried under the covers! Eventually, I pinned to his blankie! Ha! My mom brain was working THAT day!
DeleteWow..Lisa..love this post....!!Somehow I have started to like my sleep deprived nights ...feels quiet and very peaceful...and I get to think and write.....I know I sound weird:) :)...
ReplyDeleteThe book sounds interestingly funny......
xx
Epsita
Thanks Epsita! I have to agree! I am now thankful I don't sleep a full eight hours without interruption! I wouldn't get anything done, LOL!
DeletePart of my bedtime survival is to turn on the white noise machine, so I don't leap from my bed at every little noise, assuming something or someone needs my immediate attention:)
ReplyDeleteI love white noise! It really trains the mind to focus on that sound, at night, while sleeping! I used to sleep with the radio on years ago!
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ReplyDeleteI love to listen to the sound effect apps on my iPhone, like waves and rain. One night I automatically put on the rain app and then realized it was raining outside. Doh!
ReplyDeleteI heart you Linda! (Sniff, sniff!) I love your idea! One more reason to get an iPhone and ditch my cave-woman cell phone! I still have my mom's radio/alarm/sound machine (it's like 30 years old) and I used to listen to the bird calls! Now I can hear real ones, and MAN ARE THEY LOUD, lol.
DeleteThank you for the laugh this morning, had my daughter asking what was so funny but told her she would have to read it to get it and left it at that
ReplyDeleteHa! I get that with my son a lot, especially when I'm on the phone!
DeleteThis would make a great book for all first time mothers. I am not a mother yet but I have so much to look forward to lol.
ReplyDeleteYes and yes! Thanks for commenting!
Deletethese are great tips for sleep-deprived mums! sleeping is pure luxury especially when you live with children, and when you get your much needed zzz, you will run into the danger of being an over-sized pillow for a child who cannot seem to keep still even in his sleep! story of my life! :)
ReplyDeleteHa! Our son was a restless sleeper since birth, he was a flopper! Happily, he preferred sleeping in his own crib and bed, happily for us, LOL!
DeleteI forgot how sleep deprivation can be. With a 15 year old sleep is a good thing her at my house.
ReplyDeleteOh, the joys of teens sleeping in until noon!
DeleteMy kids are grown up, but I'm still sleep deprived because of work and my two grand kids.. A 7 hour sleep to me is pure luxury.
ReplyDeleteI had a son who was a champion sleeper, it was my bladder and over-active brain that kept me awake!
DeleteI always joke that I've been tired for 16 years (my oldest is 15; and I figure she started making me tired while she was still a bun in the oven). I'm not sure I'm really joking.
ReplyDeleteIt seems we can't escape interrupted sleep! Isn't there a pill for that, LOL!
DeleteI need to make sure that I go to bed. I'm known for staying up way too late
ReplyDeleteMe too! I almost never go to sleep before 12 am!
DeleteI am bad for taking my cell to bed to finish last minute emails, branding. Great tips
ReplyDeleteOuch! I don't have a smart phone, but I have a Kindle Fire! LOL!
DeleteThis sounds great! I always bring my phone to bed, or my ipad, or my laptop. HAHA, I'm terrible but theres always last minute stuff needing to be done! - jeanine
ReplyDeleteOuch! I don't have a smart phone, but I have a Kindle Fire! LOL!
DeleteThis books sounds funny - and can so relate!
ReplyDeleteThanks Chastity!
DeleteThese are great tips. I usually take my phone to bed to read on my kindle app.
ReplyDeleteOuch! I don't have a smart phone, but I have a Kindle Fire! LOL!
DeleteThis book seems like what I need to just read a chapter here and there with no big plot. no time for that
ReplyDeleteThanks Maria! Hopefully you can put it on your summer reading list!
DeleteI remember trying to get my brother down for a nap when he was a baby. It required literally crawling commando style out of the room so he wouldn't see. LOL
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like some great tales. I will have to check it out.
ReplyDeletelol those are awesome tips. I like the one about dimming the light. i have to do it
ReplyDeleteDimming the lights help a lot! just that little dim gives an indication its bedroom. Cookies and warm milk are another good one
ReplyDeleteOh, I remember those days of sleep deprivation! This book sounds fantastic!
ReplyDeleteEvery single one of these is spot on! I'm knee deep in sleep deprivation at the moment, and I have been for a few years. There is no way to anticipate just how tired kids are going to make you!
ReplyDeleteI love the idea of filling up water bottles before bed because you are right I am so NOT drinking enough water
ReplyDeleteOh goodness I need sleep so very much; what a timely and cute post.
ReplyDeleteThe tip to dim the lights made me laugh. :) I saw the full moon out the other night and thought it was so gorgeous. My friend who was with me said no way, it makes the crazies come to her work, lolol
ReplyDeleteLove these tips! Especially #3. I always go and check on my kids one last time before heading to bed.
ReplyDeleteLove this series you're doing. Makes me laugh and high-five you virtually! I wish I could have my phone off limits! It's so addicting!
ReplyDeleteLove your tips and humor! I definitely need some tips on getting my little jokers to sleep..lol!
ReplyDeleteI totally need to make my gadgets off limits after a certain time!
ReplyDeleteI find it so hard to wind down for bed! The book sounds so fun!
ReplyDeleteIt's your wit and humor that keep you awake at night! Just kidding!!! I love your post because you reminded us all to take a peak at the sleeping "angels"...that's the best. They'll be sleeping college students before you know it! I really like reading your blog!
ReplyDeleteI am so thankful that I we are finally getting a good nights sleep with our kids. The humor in this is exactly how we felt.
ReplyDeleteThis made me laugh Lisa! I can relate so well! I've tried it all: dim lights, reading, hot tea, counting sheep/dinosaurs (ha), no electronics. Sometimes it works. Sometimes not. However, if I may be honest, the thing that works best for me is good sex. Knocks me out like nothing else. I'm just being honest. Lol!
ReplyDeleteGreat post. Aren't sleeping kids the best kind? When you go peek in on them, it's like they aren't even the same little screaming ones from the daytime. I really need to turn my computer off much earlier in the night or I get sucked in.
ReplyDelete