Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Where Moths Go To Die: Five Bedtime Survival Tips For Moms, a Guest Post by Lisa Nolan


Today I'm thrilled to introduce you to my guest writer, Lisa Nolan, editor and publisher of Monkey Star Press! I'm also honored to be a part of her humor anthology, Motherhood May cause Drowsiness: Mom Stories From The Trenches (you can also visit her website HERE). Today she's sharing her five bedtime survival tips for all the sleep-deprived moms out there. Please welcome Lisa with lots of comment love and shares. Thanks!

Where Moths Go To Die: Five Bedtime Survival Tips For Moms



At night before I go to bed I shut my computer off and grab a book to read from my pile of library books. Then, my black kitten (who is almost a cat) slinks in from the yard like a slow-motion shadow, wide-eyed, with a fluttering moth in his mouth. He brings his treasure under my bed and bats it around. I try and rescue it by getting down on my hands and knees on the beige, dog-hair covered carpet. I am not upset (although my hubby does a freak out). The moth and my cat are doing what is natural when the moon comes out.

But am I doing what is natural at the end of my day? I’m not batting a moth around, but I seriously doubt my nighttime habits are “natural”. And what does that mean? How do I know what’s normal, what’s true to human nature in this modern, high tech world? Maybe if I took away the TV, the computer, and the smart phone after dusk. Then what?

How about doing some p.m. housework? Should I be washing dishes, by that I mean loading the dishwasher, or maybe I should be washing them by hand? OK, how about exercise? Nah. Ain’t gonna happen. Should I be baking something like bread to serve at breakfast?

What about writing? Not on my unnatural computer, but what about in my journal? (Aren’t writers supposed to be doing that anyway? Every day or night? Consistently?)

What did my mom do at night before bedtime? And was that true to human nature? She was a single mom working a full time job so she prepared for the next day: she set out her color-coordinated clothes and accessories: a navy pant suit with matching low-heeled shoes, faux pearl necklace and earrings, and a brown-bag lunch with carrots and tuna fish. Nature or not she was the bread winner, the only bread winner, so it was a matter of survival.

Are we mom supposed to be doing what’s important for our survival?

The moth, a night-flying insect attracted to light and heat, is trying to survive under my bed from a cat just going by his instincts (and having an evening snack). What do we moms need to do at bedtime? After all, isn’t survival of the fittest?

So here are my five bedtime survival tips for moms:

1. Dim the lights so you won’t see the dust on the furniture or your over-flowing laundry baskets, causing you to go on an all-night laundry and dusting binge.

2. Your computer is off limits (and your smart phone) unless you are chatting on Facebook or reading using your Kindle app. It’s survival of the brain, too! Let’s not deprive it of social emotional connections!

3. Go and check in on your sleeping angels, for tomorrow they will be awakened little monster-tantrum throwers, or chatter boxes in cookie-survival mode.

4. Now it’s time to get ready for the next day. Get out your jogging shoes because you’ll be chasing your toddler at the park (not because you are playing a game but because your tot picked up some trash on the ground, again, and won’t let you have it).

5. Fill up your water bottle because you are not drinking enough water (maybe because drinking so much water makes you run to the bathroom all day long)!


OK, my dear readers, now it’s your turn! Leave a comment and tell us your survival tips for moms when the moon is out!

Want to read more stories by sleep-challenged moms, stories that will make you laugh, shed a tear or two, inspire you, and make you feel like you are NOT alone in your sleep-deprived, post-baby world? Be sure to check out Motherhood May Cause Drowsiness: Mom Stories from the Trenches!

From start to finish, this book is a gem. I can’t think of a mother who shouldn’t read it, whether you have a newborn or grown children, you will totally relate to these funny and heartwarming stories. This second edition includes 18 new essays from some amazing authors. Having bought the first Motherhood May Cause Drowsiness, I was delighted to read this new edition. One of my favorite quotes from the book: ‘Organic homemade cakes made out of kale and promises.’ This book is funny and then funnier.”—Stephanie Marsh of We Don’t Chew Glass.


Lisa Nolan touts herself as a supermom with a second-hand cape and an empty glass of wine. She is the editor and publisher at Monkey Star Press and is working on three parent humor anthologies at the moment. (Lisa thinks she might be a little bit insane, but in a good way--we hope.) She’s craft challenged, a lousy housekeeper, a great cook, and a dedicated locavore. She blogs about Montessori and writes mom lit and memoir. Lisa is also a book publisher, mom to a DS child, a 3-6 and 6-9 Montessori trained teacher...and she often asks herself the question “Wait, where am I?” You can find her at Monkey Star Press, and Facebook and Twitter.

Photo credit: evilpeacock / Foter/ CC BY-NC-SA


***UPDATE: In honor of the upcoming Father's Day, Meno Mama has a post up on TODAY Show parents. Would love some votes if possible! Please share with your friends too if you can. Thank you so much!!!http://community.today.com/parentingteam/post/my-fathers-chair

58 comments:

  1. I'm so happy to be a guest on your blog today Marcia! It's been a while! How far we've come! You're the best!

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    1. Love having you here and everyone loves you!

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  3. I forgot how sleep deprived I was by the time my second daughter came and add peri menapausal with that... I rarely get more than a couple of broken hours of sleep per night.... I've been known to go to bed by 8:30... I'm lucky my 12 year old goes to bed then too... lol

    This was a good post, totally true for motherhood... xox

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    1. Thanks Launna! I just have one child, and he always slept like a champ! Me! Ha! No way Jose!

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  4. This book sounds really funny! I can definitley relate.

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  5. When the kids were babies and toddlers they had a favourite stuffed animal (still do) and a soother. It was like a sleep formula soother + bear = sleep. All was good if we had both of those things. But, if not?! Look out!

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    1. My son got attached to one of his sock puppets at the age of six months, but goodness forbid if it ended up on the floor or buried under the covers! Eventually, I pinned to his blankie! Ha! My mom brain was working THAT day!

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  6. Wow..Lisa..love this post....!!Somehow I have started to like my sleep deprived nights ...feels quiet and very peaceful...and I get to think and write.....I know I sound weird:) :)...
    The book sounds interestingly funny......
    xx
    Epsita

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    1. Thanks Epsita! I have to agree! I am now thankful I don't sleep a full eight hours without interruption! I wouldn't get anything done, LOL!

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  7. Part of my bedtime survival is to turn on the white noise machine, so I don't leap from my bed at every little noise, assuming something or someone needs my immediate attention:)

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    1. I love white noise! It really trains the mind to focus on that sound, at night, while sleeping! I used to sleep with the radio on years ago!

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  9. I love to listen to the sound effect apps on my iPhone, like waves and rain. One night I automatically put on the rain app and then realized it was raining outside. Doh!

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    1. I heart you Linda! (Sniff, sniff!) I love your idea! One more reason to get an iPhone and ditch my cave-woman cell phone! I still have my mom's radio/alarm/sound machine (it's like 30 years old) and I used to listen to the bird calls! Now I can hear real ones, and MAN ARE THEY LOUD, lol.

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  10. Thank you for the laugh this morning, had my daughter asking what was so funny but told her she would have to read it to get it and left it at that

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    1. Ha! I get that with my son a lot, especially when I'm on the phone!

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  11. This would make a great book for all first time mothers. I am not a mother yet but I have so much to look forward to lol.

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    1. Yes and yes! Thanks for commenting!

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  12. these are great tips for sleep-deprived mums! sleeping is pure luxury especially when you live with children, and when you get your much needed zzz, you will run into the danger of being an over-sized pillow for a child who cannot seem to keep still even in his sleep! story of my life! :)

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    1. Ha! Our son was a restless sleeper since birth, he was a flopper! Happily, he preferred sleeping in his own crib and bed, happily for us, LOL!

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  13. I forgot how sleep deprivation can be. With a 15 year old sleep is a good thing her at my house.

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    1. Oh, the joys of teens sleeping in until noon!

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  14. My kids are grown up, but I'm still sleep deprived because of work and my two grand kids.. A 7 hour sleep to me is pure luxury.

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    1. I had a son who was a champion sleeper, it was my bladder and over-active brain that kept me awake!

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  15. I always joke that I've been tired for 16 years (my oldest is 15; and I figure she started making me tired while she was still a bun in the oven). I'm not sure I'm really joking.

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    1. It seems we can't escape interrupted sleep! Isn't there a pill for that, LOL!

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  16. I need to make sure that I go to bed. I'm known for staying up way too late

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    1. Me too! I almost never go to sleep before 12 am!

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  17. I am bad for taking my cell to bed to finish last minute emails, branding. Great tips

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    1. Ouch! I don't have a smart phone, but I have a Kindle Fire! LOL!

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  18. This sounds great! I always bring my phone to bed, or my ipad, or my laptop. HAHA, I'm terrible but theres always last minute stuff needing to be done! - jeanine

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    1. Ouch! I don't have a smart phone, but I have a Kindle Fire! LOL!

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  19. This books sounds funny - and can so relate!

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  20. These are great tips. I usually take my phone to bed to read on my kindle app.

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    1. Ouch! I don't have a smart phone, but I have a Kindle Fire! LOL!

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  21. This book seems like what I need to just read a chapter here and there with no big plot. no time for that

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    1. Thanks Maria! Hopefully you can put it on your summer reading list!

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  22. I remember trying to get my brother down for a nap when he was a baby. It required literally crawling commando style out of the room so he wouldn't see. LOL

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  23. This sounds like some great tales. I will have to check it out.

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  24. lol those are awesome tips. I like the one about dimming the light. i have to do it

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  25. Dimming the lights help a lot! just that little dim gives an indication its bedroom. Cookies and warm milk are another good one

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  26. Oh, I remember those days of sleep deprivation! This book sounds fantastic!

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  27. Every single one of these is spot on! I'm knee deep in sleep deprivation at the moment, and I have been for a few years. There is no way to anticipate just how tired kids are going to make you!

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  28. I love the idea of filling up water bottles before bed because you are right I am so NOT drinking enough water

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  29. Oh goodness I need sleep so very much; what a timely and cute post.

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  30. The tip to dim the lights made me laugh. :) I saw the full moon out the other night and thought it was so gorgeous. My friend who was with me said no way, it makes the crazies come to her work, lolol

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  31. Love these tips! Especially #3. I always go and check on my kids one last time before heading to bed.

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  32. Love this series you're doing. Makes me laugh and high-five you virtually! I wish I could have my phone off limits! It's so addicting!

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  33. Love your tips and humor! I definitely need some tips on getting my little jokers to sleep..lol!

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  34. I totally need to make my gadgets off limits after a certain time!

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  35. I find it so hard to wind down for bed! The book sounds so fun!

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  36. It's your wit and humor that keep you awake at night! Just kidding!!! I love your post because you reminded us all to take a peak at the sleeping "angels"...that's the best. They'll be sleeping college students before you know it! I really like reading your blog!

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  37. I am so thankful that I we are finally getting a good nights sleep with our kids. The humor in this is exactly how we felt.

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  38. This made me laugh Lisa! I can relate so well! I've tried it all: dim lights, reading, hot tea, counting sheep/dinosaurs (ha), no electronics. Sometimes it works. Sometimes not. However, if I may be honest, the thing that works best for me is good sex. Knocks me out like nothing else. I'm just being honest. Lol!

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  39. Great post. Aren't sleeping kids the best kind? When you go peek in on them, it's like they aren't even the same little screaming ones from the daytime. I really need to turn my computer off much earlier in the night or I get sucked in.

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