Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Wacky Wednesday Writers Guest Post By: Dried-on Milk

    My WWW guest today is another funny favorite---- Stacia Ellermeier from Dried-on Milk . I love this woman's humor! The stories about her two young children and the family shenanigans that go on in her home always crack me up.  Stacia describes herself as a "modern day Lucy Ball," and after reading her story today, I think you'll agree with that title. This up and coming blogger was a finalist in the 2013 Blogger Idol and has since been featured in numerous sites. Did I mention that she is HILARIOUS???
   
     Please welcome the awesome and talented Stacia to Meno Mama's site today with lots of comment love. Thanks!



NAILED IT! No really, I literally hit it.

I ran over the direction sign at my daughters school this morning. With mah car. With everyone still inside. With everyone outside watching.

Totally did.


I didn't bump the sign or knock it over. I flat out ran over it. I came around the corner and I guess, took the corner a bit too sharp. I heard the car hit the sign but at that point it was too late. I had to just keep going. The whole BRIGHT orange plastic thing went down under my car and out the back.


I wasn't driving fast! A couple miles per hour? I was in the drop-off lane for God's sake!


By the looks of this picture, this also means I was up on the curb too. At a school where there are kids everywhere. I swear I wasn't under the influence. I mean I was under the influence for the need of caffeine but that's all, I SWEAR!

There was a teacher or somebody school-important standing on the sidewalk. The look on her face was mortification for ME. I looked at her with my mouth wide open and my lips turned up because I was desperately trying to suppress the giggle rising in my throat.

I did NOT just do that. What if I hit someone!!! OMG!!!

I was in a line of cars, the drop off lane where everyone and their dogs saw and heard me run over the sign.

Ava asked why I did that. Oh sweet baby girl because your mom is an idiot. You haven't been in school for a whole week yet and I'm doing a fabulous job of embarrassing you and this family. You're welcome. There is more where that came from, guaranteed.

This reminds me of the time I hit the daycare lady's gigantor recycling bin and sent it flying into the street... twice.

I think we can all agree that I will not be the one teaching the kids how to drive.


BIO:

Stacia Ellermeier is a graphic designer who moonlights as a parenting-humor writer. She finds inspiration in her two littles, her husband, and a cat who barfs on everything. Often referred to as the modern day Lucy Ball, she's known for running over the orange directional cones at her daughter's school and her extreme skills of self-embarrassment. Stacia was a Top 4 finalist in Blogger Idol 2013 and can be found spewing verbal diarrhea on NickMom, Erma Bombeck's Writer's Workshop, Go West Young Mom, and her personal blog: Dried-on Milk. She loves chapstick, books, Starbucks and Target. Follow Stacia at @driedonmilk on Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, Google+ or Instagram.



23 comments:

  1. Oh my... that was funny because no one was hurt... lol

    I thought the sign was on the corner of the street but it was on a curb... the looks people must have given you, haha... omg.. too funny

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    1. NO ONE WAS HURT! THANK GOD!!! HOLY SHIT!

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  2. Oh my gosh, you literally had me laughing from the moment you said, "With mah car." And you know what else I love? That we bloggers are such a-holes that we don't even care about things like--oops, I ran that over. We have to stop and take a picture of it so we can chronicle it on our blog. GUILTY!! I am definitely going to sign up to follow Dried-on Milk. Right now!

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    1. LOL oh thank you for making me feel better about taking the picture but I had to have proof that there's a sign... I didn't realize I went up on the curb until I took the pic. WINNING!

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  3. Me again. I just subscribed, but for some reason I'm unable to leave comments on Dried-on Milk...? Anyhoo, I was over there, and I will be reading, but you may never know because I can't figure out how to comment. DAMMIT

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. GAW!!! I use to have blogger comments and now I have Disqus comments... I swear the internet needs to get their shit together. Thank you for reading!!!

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  4. I've told the kids for years it's got to be dad who teaches them to drive. 2 out of 4 are driving, and I taught them. -_- Dad better get w/it on the teen (she's just about old enough to drive) because I'm totally the one who would run over the sign. ;)

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    1. I'm afraid I will be the one teaching my daughter, not sure about my son. Buuut I mean I do kind of suck at driving sooo...

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  5. Oh girl, that is awful but so incredibly funny! I feel like I might actually do something like that so it is good to know I'm not alone. :)

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    1. OH hellz no! I seriously can't believe how many times I've nailed the daycare lady's recycling bin. You would think by now I'd look behind me. The orange cone was in front of me so I have no excuses.

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  6. I'm with Shay, I would have TOTALLY taken a picture before even asking "Is everyone ok?" hahaha been there, driven over that lawn. Funny!

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    1. It's like the stuff just JUMPS out at my car. It's silly, really.

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  7. I'm wondering how she got her driver's license in the first place. Also wondering what other funny stories she has to share so I'm gonna head on over to her site.

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    Replies
    1. Would you believe I got my license on the first try?! :D

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  8. This is Really Interesting and Valuable Tips, I Really Liked it very Much. Thank for Sharing.

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  9. Oh my this was funny at least you didn't hit a guy on a push bike I should write about that some time I would have been red from the embarrassment of people watching me hit the sign

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  10. At least you didn't rear-end anyone. Like someone did to me. See, it could always be worse!

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  11. Toe-curlingly embarrassing moment; I feel for you!

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  12. That's the kind of thing that makes you instantly all sweaty and a little dizzy...

    If it helps..most of us have done SOMETHING similar. Except those perfect people. Who don't exist.

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  13. i had a similar moment once, just driving my kid to the bus stop—didn't even have to leave the neighborhood. first, i must point out that in telling this story, i have no intention of making any rude or racist remarks. it's just a statement of facts. as i was turning around in the cul-de-sac which was the site of said bus stop, i accidentally side-swiped the mailbox of a very nice asian family with the last name of "Ho." i'm not making this up. anyway, when i got home i went flying into the house saying to my husband, "you won't believe what just happened. i smashed into the Ho's mailbox and the grandfather was standing right in the driveway! to which my husband replied, "what? we have hos in our neighborhood? where?!!"

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  14. I swear this is me...I probably should have a smaller car, and not the sherman tank I currently drive. And for the record - I did not teach my kids to drive. Enough said. Very funny stuff!

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  15. You know what they always say: Go Big or Go Home. Obviously, you had no intentions of going home!! ;) I love this story!!!

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