Menopausal Mother

     If you've tested positive for COVID-19 and you're stuck quarantining at home, there are plenty of things to do to stay busy. Yeah, I know it's hard to see your friends sharing vacation photos and fancy dinners on social media. That's called FOMO (fear of missing out). Just remember though, not all of us are going out partying. I for one am staying home and only visiting my family. Sure, I feel a bit stir crazy and have been eating my way through this pandemic, but I've also discovered some pretty inventive ways to stay busy. You should try a few of these ideas:

     Welcome to another edition of Fly On The Wall group blog postings hosted by Karen of Baking In A Tornado. Today, there are three brave bloggers allowing you into their homes for a sneak peek at what goes on behind closed doors.

     As the COVID-19 numbers here in Florida continue to escalate, our family is pretty much still in quarantine mode. Our family sees each other, but that is the extent of our social life right now. No restaurants, bars, parks, or gyms. We only go to one another's homes on the weekends for a swim and backyard barbeques. And that's enough for me because family is #1. Besides, I really enjoy the company of my kiddos.

     I haven't had a chance this month to keep track of some of our funnier conversations, but I HAVE captured a few photos here and there of time with my favorite people on the planet:


This is the face my husband makes when he hasn't had his coffee yet.
                 
                 She definitely takes after her grandfather's side of the family....
                   
I guess that cupcake didn't taste so good after all.
Nothing a little liquor can't fix!

She's learning how to make silly faces from the pro.
***WANT MORE MENO MAMA? You can find me this week on Humor Outcasts discussing senior citizen beer flavors here: https://humoroutcasts.com/2020/specialty-beers-for-the-geriatric-generation/


Click on these links for a peek into some other homes:

     It's very difficult these days to ward off depression and frustration with the current state of the world. Here in Florida, our COVID positive test results have skyrocketed, which means rolling back on openings and implementing further restrictions. I agree that it is totally necessary, but let's face it; some of us are going a bit stir crazy after being quarantined for so long. I'm fortunate enough that I get to see my family when we spend time together at each other's houses, but there are plenty of people who are dealing with this alone, and my heart goes out to them. This is a time for us to spread kindness and love and oodles of humor because God knows we need it now more than ever.

     Below I am sharing some of my favorite pandemic-themed memes (found on social media) to help bring a little laughter to your day. Hang in there folks, we'll get through this together!

This first group of memes comes from the Facebook page, Mommy Needs Vodka:



I hope these memes made you laugh out loud. God knows we all need some humor right now. Stay safe and stay healthy, my friends!

Welcome to another edition of Fly On The Wall group blog postings, hosted by Karen of Baking In A Tornado. Today, four bloggers are bravely inviting you into their homes for a sneak peek at what goes on behind closed doors.


At our house, life is slowly getting back to normal. We are emerging hesitantly from the quarantine and into the outside world. I'm feeling a bit like one of the Morlocks from H.G. Wells' movie "The Time Machine" ( and I probably look like one, too!). The lifting of lockdown restrictions in my area has meant more time spent with my adult kids and grandkids, which has been awesome. We were able to celebrate my daughter's 31st birthday after a quick stop at the cemetery to take flowers to her twin brother (you can read Jason's story that was published last year in The New York Times HERE). She and her fiance just moved into a house and lucky for us, it is nearby, plus it has a pool! Yay!

The not-so-great thing that happened earlier this month was that my youngest pug became very ill out of the blue and needed emergency lung surgery. He had an extremely rare condition but it was fixable through surgery, so of course, we did whatever possible to save our fur baby's life (Yoda is only three). I'm happy to report that he is now doing GREAT, running around, and playing with his other puggy siblings. Life is good!

As for the fly on the wall, he has overheard a few interesting snippets of humor around our house this month:


"By my calculations, I expect I'll be giving birth in December to my pandemic food baby."
"Lucky you. My COVID-19 food baby is already full-term."

"This coffee went right through me. I need to go to the bathroom ASAP."
"Me too!"
"That's how you can tell we've been married a long time---our bowels are in sync."

"Our water bill has gotten ridiculously high. Maybe we should only shower once a week to lower cost!"
"That would most definitely enforce social distancing."

"I was once young and virile."
"Now you're just old and sterile."

"You give me such large portions at mealtime that I'm afraid I'm going to get a hernia carrying my dinner plate."

"Aren't you going to stay and watch Good Morning America's 'Play Of The Day' segment?"
"No, because Mother Nature is calling and I need to go do my poop of the day."

"Hey Mom, can I borrow your air mattress? I think it's in your closet."
"I doubt that I can find it. There could be another family living in that closet and I wouldn't even know it."

     And....that's a wrap! See you next month with all of the other Morlocks!



Buzz around, see what you think, then click on these links for a peek into some other homes:

Welcome to another edition of Fly On The Wall group blog postings hosted by Karen of Baking In A Tornado. Today, four bloggers are bravely inviting you into their homes for a sneak peek at what has been going on behind closed doors.

As the U.S. and other countries begin to lift stay-at-home orders, I find myself thinking back on some of the better parts of quarantine life: the stillness in the streets, the appearance of more wildlife, crystal water, clean air, and the closeness of families in lockdown together.

And of course, there was the joy of not having to shave my legs, pluck my eyebrows, or wear makeup. So what if I looked like a hairy beast roaming around my house all day in my pajamas and taking naps at my leisure. I WAS HAPPY.


Okay, so I did accomplish a few things while under quarantine. Redecorated my living room and dining room, organized a few closets, and created a new garden section with an adorable seating area by the previously unused portion on the side of my house. Oh, and I published some COVID-19 themed articles for several websites (see links below).

My social life has revolved around FaceTiming with my family and cheering one another virtually with cocktails in our hands

Other than that, the fly on the wall saw that my husband and I spent a great deal of time together in front of the TV, binging shows like Hollywood, The Great, Schitt's Creek, and Mind Hunters.


Now that the world is opening its doors again, I feel both fear and excitement. I'm not ready to venture out in public yet (and not just because I'm hairy!) but I will admit that it was wonderful to finally see my family again (masked up, of course) last weekend.

The world has survived worse and we will survive this. Stay safe and stay healthy, my friends!

***WANT MORE MENO MAMA? I'm proud to share my first piece for USA TODAY's Reviewed section! You can read it HERE. I also have a COVID-19 related article on a new website, Illumination, which you can find HERE. And....if you're looking for some new humor, you can find my recent work featured on MANOPAUSE and MUDDY UM.

Be sure to check out the other Fly On The Wall blog posts---click on these links for a peek into some other homes:

     Welcome to another edition of Fly On The Wall group blog postings, hosted by Karen of Baking In A Tornado. Today, five bloggers are bravely inviting you into their homes to see what goes on behind closed doors.

     The fly at our house is going a little stir crazy since our town is pretty much on lockdown due to COVID-19. No restaurants, schools, bars. gyms....and even our beaches here in South Florida are closed. You know things must be bad when even your adult kids choose to hang out at your house on a Saturday night to play cards because THERE IS NOTHING ELSE TO DO. But the good news is, the gatherings offer some pretty funny conversations:


"Eat as many carbs as you want, dear. Calories from stress eating definitely do NOT count when you are quarantined for the Coronavirus."

"It's understandable that we have to keep washing our towels during this virus, but why do the wet towels left overnight in the washing machine smell like death in the morning?"
"They died from the virus."

"I just stress-ate all three packages of the Hot Tamale Peeps and now my colon will never be the same."
"Have fun with that since there's no toilet paper to be found in the stores."


"Where are my car keys? Who took my damn car key?!? Oh wait---- they're right here..... in my hand."
"Forget about the keys----call the doctor instead. You're either feverish from COVID-19 or you're already exhibiting signs of early dementia."

"I almost took one of the dog's chemo pills by accident instead of my antibiotics. I probably would have grown a third arm out of my back if I'd taken it."
"Yeah, and that new arm would also have Carpal Tunnel."

"Social Distancing? Awesome! I finally have an excuse to avoid all the idiots in my life."

"There's only one solution to getting around town and staying virus-free. We need to learn how to levitate."
"That skill will definitely come in handy in five years when you're too old to walk anymore."

"When they were testing the basketball players for the Coronavirus, they found that a lot of the guys only had 3% body fat. I have more than that in one earlobe."


"I was looking on Amazon for arch supports, and the ad right next to it was for filet knives. Am I supposed to trim my arches?"
"Yeah, they did it that way so that you can make Filet of Sole."

"I predict three things from the outcome of the COVID-19 quarantine: A boom in births in December, a higher demand for therapists and anxiety meds, and everyone on the planet will have the cleanest homes this world has ever seen."

     Hope this Fly Post brought you some smiles during these trying times. Stay safe, my friends. Sending virtual hugs to all!

***WANT MORE MENO MAMA? I'm so excited to share the news that I had my very first humor piece published in Slackjaw! I had a blast writing it, too! It's called, THE FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF WHILE BUILDING AN IKEA ENTERTAINMENT CENTER.

***I also have my first humor piece published on Manopause, which you can read here: THE LITTLE WHITE LIES MIDDLE-AGED MEN TELL THEMSELVES

***As always, I have new work on CONSIDERABLE this week. You can read all of my articles for them here: https://www.considerable.com/contributor/marcia-kester-doyle/