I am so pleased to introduce you to today's Wacky Wednesday Writers guest, Christine Carter of The Mom Cafe. Her story of finding strength after multiple surgeries and a brutal recovery period is an inspiration to her readers. Despite the constant pain she's forced to deal with, Christine focuses on her faith and the funny side of life, encouraging other mothers to do the same. I admire her tenacity as a writer---most of us would buckle under the pain and leave the writing world behind. Not Christine. She's a perfect example of how faith and humor can pull us through even our darkest hours. She supports so many writers in the blogosphere and generously promotes others by reading their posts and sharing their links. Her warm and loving nature drew me in like a magnet, and I am so thrilled to have met her in the blogosphere. Please welcome this beautiful, talented writer to my site today with lots of comment love! Thank you!
Funny Can Be Found Anywhere
I suppose people would call me an
“inspirational writer”… but little do they know, in real life-
I am a hilarious fool. I am! I love making people laugh, with my
crazy incessant ways. Ask anyone I know in real life, and they will
surely have a few stories about me cracking the boundaries of
appropriateness somewhere. It’s who I am. I wish sometimes I
could push through the screen of my laptop and show the world that
side of me… but I will try to share such parts of my twisted humor
here.
This story begins with an
undeniably horrible story. After finding out my sister had
stage-three breast cancer, I succumbed to her desperate wishes to get
tested for the genetic mutation. She had been tested and found she
was BRCA1 positive, and she worried relentlessly about her sisters
having the same mutation, which would result in an almost 90% risk of
following in her horrific footsteps. Other factors in our history
pointed to the inevitable: Our mother’s mother died at an early
age of it, and I had already had two biopsies of abnormal growths
that were watched closely through quarterly ultra sounds. It was
time I respected my sister’s precious wishes and get tested.
I had
the BRCA1 mutation.
After months of multiple Doctor
visits, tests and pre-op assessments, I would eventually make some
life changing decisions. I ended up at the hospital one cold
December morning being prepped for the excavation of all my woman
parts. Yes. I was facing three surgeons with three surgeries all in
one.
A double mastectomy, breast
reconstruction, and a full hysterectomy…
At the tender age of 43.
It was a brutal season. My
precious daughter was struggling with ongoing medical issues that
were debilitating for her and excruciating for me to witness and care
for. It left me suffocating in despair and living with little sleep
all the while, enduring the pre-op appointments with both my three
and six-year old kids straddled to my side. My husband traveled for
his work during this time, so I spent two months navigating this path
alone.
It’s
amazing how strength finds its way when you
least expect it.
One
thing I know for sure is that there is always light in laughter, and
we must uncover it even in the darkest moments of our lives. There
are high-lights
threaded through this story that reveal just that- a bit of shining
laughter, where you would once again, least
expect it.
My
very first appointment to find out what on earth I will do with this
BRCA1 was with a breast surgeon, who would later remove my breasts.
I was terrified, and my dear friend came with me to take notes. I
sat there topless with the paper towel wrapped tightly around me
anxiously waiting for what seemed like hours. When she entered the
room, she seemed detached and stoic, which made me all the more
nervous. As she looked at her clipboard and went through the typical
introductions, she then motioned for me to place ‘them’ on the
tray. Little did I know she meant the papers I had in my hands…I
went over to the tray and began to open my wrap and started to
awkwardly place my breasts on the tray! She immediately corrected me
and from that moment on, I realized this was going to be one
hell of a ride.
(You
can laugh now…it’s freaking funny! Yes, we still laugh about that
one now.)
Fast-forward through the medical turns and twists
of this story to the pre-op room at dawn that dreaded morning. As
the surgeons and nurses roamed this area doing their work, I sat
there shivering naked under the hospital gown, but with a huge
hospital size pad on for my lovely period (The last one I would ever
have. One silver lining for SURE!) The nurse finally found me after
what felt like forever, and she fumbled around the tubes and tape to
hook up my iv. She looked frazzled and after reading all my charts
from the three surgeons, she seemed unable to manage it all. She
nervously claimed I had too many surgeries for her to organize all
the paperwork, and her ankle was hurting since she woke up, therefore
she couldn’t even get around very well. I’m not sure if her
incompetence was a gift or a curse, so I will let you decide.
I began going into ‘counselor mode’ and
talked her through the grief of her son’s untimely death as she
shared a tearful horrific story. I managed to help her sift through
some layers of pain she had wrapped herself in, while she began to
lighten her demeanor with new resolve. After she professed her
gratitude to me for having helped her, I gently reminded her that she
still had two more viles of blood to take that lay empty on the tray
next to me. Looking back, I am just glad she wasn’t my surgeon!
(wow)
My breast surgeon came in to mark me up where she
would be cutting and carving around my chest and anywhere else she
saw fit. I started to realize this was actually going to happen.
After all the traffic died down, I sat there waiting in silence for
Derek to come in. They finally let him back to say goodbye before
they wheeled me out. I was sweating that nervous sweat and I could
feel it dripping down my sides. I asked Derek to grab some paper
towels, so I could wipe the sweat off before I go. And as I rubbed
one pit and the next, I glanced at my towel to see BLACK ink!!!!
Holy CRAP I smeared all the markings!!!!!!
I completely LOST. IT.
Derek ran to get a nurse to find the surgeon
before she disappeared into the operating room. I prayed she could
fix this incomprehensible mess! I was humiliated and horrified and
yet, at the same time, I found this hilarious!! I mean are you
KIDDING ME? I seriously thought to myself, “Only you, Chrissy.
Only you.” The
breast surgeon came in to take a close look at what I smeared and
drew over the messy parts as I chuckled with a nervous gasp of “I
can’t believe I did that!”
(I really wonder if she ever sat around with other
doctors, sharing these ridiculous stories about me… I will never
know.)
Surgery went well. There was high risk of
infection with all three surgeries at the same time, but everything
went as planned. (Thank you God.)
The recovery was brutal. I can’t lie. I
couldn’t move or even breath without feeling great pain. My
pectoral muscles were so tight I couldn’t pull my shoulders back to
get air into my lungs. I came out of this surgery bloated into a
morbidly gruesome human being with bloody stitches and bruising I had
never before seen. It was awful. My precious husband gave me a
sponge bath every night while I whimpered in pain. I ended up having
an infection in one breast, which left me with an additional dose of
severe suffering.
One
very important part of this story is that I was blessed with the most
generous amazing church family and incredible friends who were with
me every step of the way. We had a cooler on our front porch for
almost two months, regularly filled with food and gifts and
encouraging notes every single day. Every
single day. I still look back and
remember each beautiful person who stepped in. And I will never
forget them either.
The
surgery was in the beginning of December of 2010. Seeing as I
wouldn’t be sending any Christmas cards out that year, and I hardly
saw a soul all season, I decided to write a heartfelt letter of
thanks to all the people who loved and cared for our family. I was
so deeply grateful and honored to have so many people shine light
into our lives during that time! I decided I would send the same
letter to everyone on our Christmas card list as well. Why
not?
Most
importantly, I would make sure to include a picture of how I looked,
seeing as they all had to be curious- right?
After this long beautiful letter
of love and appreciation, I sealed it off with what I thought would
be the BEST post surgery picture-EVER!!
To which my BF from High School
said, “Only YOU could get away with THAT Chrissy!!”
I suppose so…
BIO
Chris
Carter is a SAHM of two pretty amazing grade school kids. She
has been writing at TheMomCafe.com for almost three years, where she
hopes to encourage mothers everywhere through her humor, inspiration
and faith. You can find her at the following links:
My
site url: http://themomcafe.com/
My twitter url:
https://twitter.com/themomcafe
My
Pinterest url: http://pinterest.com/themomcafe/
My
google plus:
https://plus.google.com/105538648893404156475/posts
Pssst! Hey, you guys! That blogger contest over at VoiceBoks is still going on and I really need your help! It ends in just a few days on Feb.2. Can you throw me a bone and cast one vote for "Menopausal Mom"? Just click on the link here, scroll down to my blog name, then click on the heart next to it. That's it! If you're voting on a cell phone, you have to turn it sideways to widen the screen. Can y'all do me this favor? I REALLY appreciate the help! Thanks!! Here's the link: http://voiceboks.com/top-50-hilariously-funny-nominated-parent-bloggers-2014
Pssst! Hey, you guys! That blogger contest over at VoiceBoks is still going on and I really need your help! It ends in just a few days on Feb.2. Can you throw me a bone and cast one vote for "Menopausal Mom"? Just click on the link here, scroll down to my blog name, then click on the heart next to it. That's it! If you're voting on a cell phone, you have to turn it sideways to widen the screen. Can y'all do me this favor? I REALLY appreciate the help! Thanks!! Here's the link: http://voiceboks.com/top-50-hilariously-funny-nominated-parent-bloggers-2014
What a horrific story and I can't even imagine all the pain and agony you must have gone through for such a long time. And you must have one hell of a personality to find the laughter in between those moments. I applaud you Chris.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the permission to laugh because I did have a good one when you said you put your breasts on the tray instead of the tissue, ha ha ha. And I'm sure that joke is still doing it's rounds around the whole hospital.
And as for the nurse you counseled then had to remind to take more viles of blood. I would have had to cancel my op is she was surgeon otherwise, you might have had your limbs off too. Goodness me.
I'm just glad you had a good network of supportive people around you at the time. Good friends are hard to find. I'm hoping that everything is settled down now and all is well with you. I admire your courage and for sharing such a personal moment.
You're a woman with balls, mate, if you know what I mean. :)
Oh,how I love your incredible comment!! Thank you for being such a supportive and intentional reader- you know, the one who really truly takes it in and twists it around in your heart and then puts forth a gorgeous response.
DeleteI am SO grateful for YOU!!!
And, if I had the balls- apparently they would be gone too. ;) (LOL)
Shared pain is halved pain, right? And laughed-at pain? Well, it must be halved again! This post is positively inspirational! Thank you for sharing part of your story with us!
ReplyDeleteP.S If I could look like that picture, what wouldn't I do . . .? :)
Oh YES indeed Diane!! I love sharing the laughter side to this story! And I do hope everyone can take their half! :)
DeleteAnd uh, yeah that picture? NO one looks like that picture! I'd put money on it!
Oh yes, only you could find a way to laugh through a cancer story my friend! And I did laugh as I read this! <3
ReplyDeleteI STILL laugh at some of the stuff that happened- or that I did!! There are even more "Chrissy moments" but I am not sure they should be published... ;)
DeleteYou're a love to come by and read this, Angela!!
I LOVE that you find humor in pain--we are SO connected in that! I feel just awful for all you went through but know others are being blessed by your willingness to share. You are awesome!
ReplyDeleteAW, you are SO sweet Karmen! Thank you for your sweet support! There is ALWAYS good in laughter, and I seem to find it everywhere in everything. Humor is truly a beautiful thing!! Even in the thick of it- funny happens! :)
DeleteThe thing about your sense of humor - you know when to pull it out and you know when to hold back and hold someone's hand - like that nurse, who needed compassion that day more than anything else. And that Christmas card? Classic! I want one!
ReplyDeleteI wish I had found the picture here- I remember so vividly looking on the internet with Derek searching for the BIGGEST rack I could find.... believe me, the one I picked was much much better!! This one is just more classy for Marcia! LOL
DeleteI love that you see me in that light, dear friend. It means THE WORLD to me!!!!!!!
Hi Chris! I very rarely have tears in my eyes when I read blogs, but this was one of those times. And as an ex-operating room nurse, please let me apologize for that train wreck of nurse you had. I was appalled just reading how she would unload to you...so bad. So awful.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you for sharing your story with such a positive and creative and humorous attitude. Your family is very lucky to have you. I hope they cherish you every day.
Marsha, I ran right over a voted for you. I predict a runaway win :)
Blessing to you both,
Ceil
Oh Ceil, thank you SO much for your beautiful encouragement!! I figure most nurses if not all but this one are truly efficient and loving wonderful people- I find it "no accident" she was there that day to prep me... :)
DeleteMy story is an easy one to share, because the ending is full of hope and light- for that I am so grateful!! There are so many others who do not share the same ending, and those are the ones I pray for.
What a touching story, and a great sense of humor you had in writing it!! I was laughing with you, and aching with you too. I'm glad it was a happy ending, and I'm glad you had so much caring around you too.
ReplyDeleteThank you SO much for your beautiful response! I am glad you were laughing with me (and perhaps at me!) and although it was a painful season, I am blessed to see it as just that. :)
Delete****she then motioned for me to place ‘them’ on the tray. Little did I know she meant the papers I had in my hands****
ReplyDeleteOMGOOOOShe! HAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Hilareous.
Heartwarming.
Beautiful.
Encouraging.
I reeeeeeeeeeally dig you!
And btw, great looking breasts, Chris! WOWWwww.
I swear... I still can't believe I DID THAT!!!! *Shaking my head while laughing hard at myself once again*
DeleteLike my awesome red bra too? Damn I'm HOT!!!
Seriously, Chris you are my hero now more then ever. I know I have said this to you before, but you never cease to amaze with me with your strength, grace and beauty. Thank you for being just you and for sharing your story here with us today. Proud to call you my friend :)
ReplyDeleteOh Janine!! You are SOOOO GOOD TO ME!!!!!
DeleteBeing me, is quite honestly sometimes rather embarrassing!! Especially when I try to lay my boobs on a tray. But hey- lets go with your beautiful words instead shall we? I'll take it!!!
You're an outstanding woman! I couldn't believe what I was reading. So brave of you to have all these surgeries together. Thank God you're ok and you manage to keep such good humor. You are a teacher to all of us.
ReplyDeleteAfter I got over the shock of all, I laughed. Did you think she brought you a silver platter for your boobs?? I had to make a joke.. Hugs:)
BWHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Silver platter!!!! BRILLIANT Manal!!!!
DeleteYou are hilarious!!!
And you- YOU are a teacher to all of US. Truly. I just put my boobs on a platter- no biggie. ;)
Chris, only you can find the humor in this situation and counsel the person who is supposed to be caring for you as well! You are always an inspiration to me. We need to meet in person so we can be goofy together!
ReplyDeleteYou sure you can handle me Jen??!!! I may grope your butt and maul you with hugs and kisses!!! Then make really inappropriate jokes at my expense of course!! Then we can laugh hysterically at it all!!!
Delete*Someday*
Is that a promise? Ha!
DeleteAh Chris, you have been given such a gift with a way to take whatever is given to you and use it for His good--to bless us all with encouragement and FUNNY. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And thanks MenoMom for having her here!
ReplyDeleteAW!!! You are SUCH a love Mer!!! Thank you thank you thank you!!!!!
DeleteThe stuff I have had been dealt is truly nothing, compared to so many. All seasons and all passing... for that I am SO BLESSED!!!! I absolutely love your support and your encouragement fuels me to be all that He wants me to be. TRULY. XOXO
You DO realize that is NOT me, right? I mean... WOWZA! Actually the one I really put at the end of the letter had much bigger breasts. I really wanted to go out with a BANG. I think it got everyone's attention - not that I was going for that or anything!! ;)
ReplyDeleteMaybe I'll share some more of this story another time- there's always more... XOXO
First of all, I hope your rack turned out amazing. I CANNOT believe you endured all three of those surgeries at once! WOW. Just wow. I did LOL at that story, I'm a firm believer in laughter saving me so many times, and always will. I do find your humor so very endearing. We are a lot alike in that aspect. :) xoxo
ReplyDeleteWe just gotta make things funny- I am ALL about laughter being one of the best medicines for any ailment! Girl, you and I have a lot in common don't we?!
DeleteMy rack ain't bad- but it still reminds me that it doesn't belong often. There are always complications to everything- so I endure through those, and well- laugh through it all! ;)
Chris, I think you might be one of the most amazing people I know!!! The things you have gone through would have many people mad at the world and you always find a silver lining and your sweet spirit shows through in every post your write!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that you are able to find the humor in these situations!!!
There truly is FUNNY in everything really- even the most dire circumstances, things happen that can crack that hideous pain and burst it with the light of laughter. I love how that happens.... :)
DeleteYou are so kind, Kim. I call myself blessed, because I know there is so much more out there that is truly UNbearable. Keeping the perspective- ALWAYS.
I had no idea you went through all that, Chris. I'm amazed you could keep your sense of humor alive during that time. Thank God for all the people he sent your way to help you and your family through the surgery and recovery. I laughed about the circumstances you described. I could see myself trying to set my boobs on the tray. I also love the photo you added to your letter of thanks. Incredible and inspirational...
ReplyDeleteI thank God for all the beautiful supportive people He sent my way too- one of my favorite memories of that season...
DeleteI LOVE that you could see yourself putting YOUR boobs on that tray too!!! Really? So I'm not NOT the only one? And that photo? I actually used a different one for the letter that had a MUCH bigger rack. Like unbelievably bigger.... I wanted to stay classy here. Ya know, respect the Menopausal Mother and all! (Love you Marcia!!!)
I'm not sure I have words...sure I do! I laughed before you said I could...okay, still laughing. You laid them on the tray?! Moving on, Chris, I only know you in blogosphere but you are amazing. How could look past what you were facing to help the nurse through her stuff? You do know that most people wouldn't be able to do that, right? And then to think that you had to suffer through all the pain! One of my closest friends had a double mastectomy and reconstructive surgery at the same time. It was horrible for her. She has lymphedema which left her without the life she was used to. I'm babbling but I just wanted you to know how much I admire you...even more so now. Happy to call you friend.
ReplyDeleteAW! Thanks my dear! I love your sweet support and I am SO sorry your friend had to suffer such a life changing illness. Ugh. See? That is why I don't have the attitude of "why me?"- SO many people suffer much worse- and I just was BLESSED to change that course for me.
DeleteThe nurse kinda threw me- I was a bit uncomfortable with her incompetence really- but I knew she needed my heart and my attention more than I needed hers. (A bit weirdly paradoxical though)
There's always a reason for those things- and I am glad I listened and offered what I could to help her...
What a series of amazing stories, all in one. Only you, Chris, for sure! You are amazing, hilarious and heaven-sent. I think we'd get along just as famously in person.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you weren't the first or last to put your breasts on the tray instead of the paperwork.
And I hope your sister is beat the cancer?
You are SUCH A DEAR to come over and read so late, when I know you should be sleeping you adorable nut!! I CRACKED up at your "Feeling saucy" over at my place!! Oh, how I adore you!!! Ya think someone else did that? Really? Now YOU are A TRUE friend!!!! lol
ReplyDeleteSister is still alive and still in the danger zone of five years... not to mention mutilated and struggling with many issues related to this monster. Sucks. Bigtime. (You are such a sweetheart to ask...)
What a story and what an inspiration you are to women who have to face the same thing. I think I would have put my boobs on the tray too b/c that's where I was going in my head when I read that! Although, I don't know how I would manage that...maybe press the tray up to my chest? Bless you, friend.
ReplyDeleteI walked over and started to fiddle with my paper towel robe and bend over trying to position them just right...
ReplyDeleteIt was like a table tray over by where she was standing... I mean, obviously I was a freaking MESS to even think that! Good Lord- so embarrassing!!
Love you for stopping by Stephanie!!
You are a beautiful, beautiful person and it shines through in all aspects of your life. For you to be able to find the funny during a time when things aren't very funny makes me want you in my corner always. I cried and laughed through this entire post and want you to know that I am only sad that we didn't know each other when you went through it. I would have definitely gotten in my car and gone to see you. Love, love, love you!
ReplyDeleteAnd I would have LOVED to have you with me through this- through the laughter and the tears, sweet friend!!!!
DeleteI will always be in your corner... always. And I am honored, that you will always be in mine. I love you SO much!!!
Chris you never fail to amaze me...you are the most inspirational writer that I know and I hate that you had to go through all of this! But the fact that you manage to find humor in it all is such a gift! I feel very lucky to count you among my friends!
ReplyDeleteAh... taking in your sweet words Michelle. Oh how grateful I am to call YOU friend!!! Thank you. Thank you for your precious encouragement. It means the WORLD to me!!
DeleteYou are inspiring. This story was touching and funny. God bless you, Chris!
ReplyDeleteYou are such a LOVE to come by and read it Suheiry!! I am so grateful for you, my new friend!
Delete