Friday, December 19, 2014

Fly On The wall In Christmas Town

     Welcome to another addition of the Fly On The Wall group postings. Fourteen brave bloggers are allowing their readers to step into their homes for a glimpse of what goes on behind closed doors.

     In the Doyle house, this month has been all about holiday preparations. The Christmas tree is up, the house is decorated inside and out, the frantic shopping has begun and there are oodles of baking goods in my pantry for a weekend of marathon cooking.  I look forward to having my family here as we sip mimosas, open gifts, start a balled-up wrapping paper war and feast on all the delicacies of the big Christmas dinner. My favorite part of the evening is sitting around the fire pit in our backyard as we cozy up to the warmth and listen to family members who sing and play guitar. When I look at all the lovely faces in the glow of the fire, I'm reminded of how blessed I am to belong to this spectacular family.

     If you were a fly on the wall in my house this month, you'd see me designing my own holiday Somee Card memes, which I'm including in today's post. You'd also hear the following snippets of conversation:



"To some, it's a tin of Christmas cookies. To me, it's a support group."

"You could have helped me decorate the tree today instead of being so lazy."
"I'm not lazy. I'm energy efficient."

"There's never a happy ending from a story that begins with, 'that one time I drank Fireball at a holiday party….'"

" I can't enjoy the Christmas feast this year without feeling guilty. You've demonized all the calories."

"It's obvious you're a holiday hoarder. You need a decoration intervention."

"Thank God we have hurricane resistant windows, otherwise they would have cracked when she hit that high note on the Christmas carol."

"It's not good holiday food unless it's really fattening….and you can feel your heart beat slowing down while you eat."

"Need help wrapping all these Christmas presents? …..said no teenager ever."

"Why on earth did you buy a red star for the top of the tree? We now have a brothel Christmas tree."

"I'm going to try to stick to my diet during the holidays."
"I can't do that. I have a condition that prevents me from going on a diet."
"What condition?"
"I get hungry."

"I hope you don't wait until the last minute to do your Christmas shopping at a Walgreens drugstore. I don't want to find the Ho Ho Ho Enema Gift Set there."

"Forget 'Elf On The Shelf.' I have 'Steve Up Your Sleeve' and 'Elvis On Your Pelvis.' "

"Whoever said 'Patience is a virtue' never experienced instant gratification."
"Or long line at Walmart."

"I have a lot of decorating to do today, but the coffee will keep me going until it's acceptable to drink heavily spiked eggnog."



MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!




Don't forget to grab your copy of my book, "WHO STOLE MY SPANDEX?" from Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble! Thanks!

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51 comments:

  1. Michele MarriottDecember 19, 2014 at 11:46 AM

    I believe that a tin of cookies can save thousands in therapy! Love the brothel tree! And your e-cards. Have a beautiful Christmas with your family, Marcia. <3 you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaDecember 19, 2014 at 11:43 PM

      I have to admit, I love my brothel tree, too. Merry Christmas to you and yours, dear friend <3

      Delete
  2. Karen @Baking In A TornadoDecember 19, 2014 at 1:04 PM

    I believe I'm a regular in that same cookie support group.
    But "Steve Up Your Sleeve" and "Elvis On Your Pelvis"? Best Christmas lines ever!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaDecember 19, 2014 at 11:44 PM

      Thanks! Those lines are a direct result of pinot grigio + porch time with Hubs. :)

      Delete
  3. Diane Stringam TolleyDecember 19, 2014 at 1:39 PM

    Husby's name is Grant. So my line would be 'Grant's in my pants'. Yikes!

    ReplyDelete
  4. MichelleDecember 19, 2014 at 1:55 PM

    Merry Christmas to you!! This is hilarious.

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    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaDecember 19, 2014 at 11:45 PM

      LOL thank you, Michelle. Merry Christmas to you, too! HUGS! XO

      Delete
  5. mail4roseyDecember 19, 2014 at 2:36 PM

    LOL on the instant gratification. Hear! Hear! And Merry Christmas to you. :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Battered HopeDecember 19, 2014 at 6:08 PM

    A very Merry Christmas to as well -- stay safe :) And yes, my teenagers always asked if they could wrap the gifts -- but then in our house, everything is wrapped by October so it puts them in the mood.

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    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaDecember 19, 2014 at 11:47 PM

      Wow! I wish I was as organized as you, Carol! That's great!

      Delete
  7. stacy sews and schoolsDecember 19, 2014 at 6:24 PM

    Absolutely hilarious, as always!!!!

    I made my older kids wrap the present they bought this year. You would have thought I was torturing them! Actually, all the presents looked tortured when they were done with them.... LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaDecember 19, 2014 at 11:47 PM

      Too funny, but hey, at least you got them to do it!

      Delete
  8. Sarah NolanDecember 19, 2014 at 6:55 PM

    As usual, I love and adore your family!!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. DawnDecember 19, 2014 at 7:47 PM

    A brothel Christmas tree. LOL That was the best.

    ReplyDelete
  10. LydiaDecember 19, 2014 at 9:13 PM

    Your homemade gift idea is BRILLIANT. :) Merry Christmas!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaDecember 19, 2014 at 11:48 PM

      So….does the mean you'll take one of the kids for me? Pretty please?

      Delete
  11. UnknownDecember 19, 2014 at 11:26 PM

    Love your Some E Cards! Being in your house is a hoot!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaDecember 19, 2014 at 11:49 PM

      We do know how to have fun, but the spiked eggnog also helps….

      Delete
  12. JerseyLilDecember 20, 2014 at 1:47 AM

    Marcia, the Some ecards were so funny…Christmas cookies really are a support group and I’ll take that spiked eggnog LOL!! Have fun with your marathon holiday cooking! It’s really nice to have family around at Christmas (it’s something I miss since we have no family nearby). Love the way your family sits around the fire pit, so cozy! Love that photo of you and your hubs! :) Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and your family!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaDecember 24, 2014 at 12:15 AM

      Thank you so much! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you too, dear friend!

      Delete
  13. UnknownDecember 20, 2014 at 10:30 AM

    We are heading to the in-laws for the holiday wee for fun and hijinks. I am in charge of putting up the tree. That should be a riot. Ever see Christmas Vacation? Yup.

    Merry Christmas!

    ReplyDelete
  14. UnknownDecember 20, 2014 at 2:31 PM

    These are wonderful, as usual! My favorite is "It's obvious you're a holiday hoarder. You need a decoration intervention." I can relate, lol!

    ReplyDelete
  15. stephen HayesDecember 20, 2014 at 7:40 PM

    I just put up our Christmas tree. I hope it's just the spiked eggnog but something seems to be moving in our tree. Merry Christmas.

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    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaDecember 24, 2014 at 12:17 AM

      Yikes! Do you have a sneaky cat? They hate Christmas trees!

      Delete
  16. Jo-Anne's RamblingsDecember 20, 2014 at 8:20 PM

    I wonder if Christmas trees in brothels have red lights all over them with a red star and all

    ReplyDelete
  17. taswirDecember 21, 2014 at 1:52 AM

    This is Really Helpful Article for Every Blogger. Thanks

    ReplyDelete
  18. Launna December 21, 2014 at 6:11 AM

    Marcia... your family always entertains us so well, I love this one...

    "I'm going to try to stick to my diet during the holidays."
    "I can't do that. I have a condition that prevents me from going on a diet."
    "What condition?"
    "I get hungry."

    I think many people have this condition.... ;)

    I wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas with lots of sales for your new book xox

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaDecember 24, 2014 at 12:18 AM

      Thank you so much, Launna. You are such a sweet friend. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you, too! XO

      Delete
  19. taswirDecember 21, 2014 at 6:41 AM

    i really like this News, looks great

    ReplyDelete
  20. UnknownDecember 21, 2014 at 8:29 AM


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    ReplyDelete
  21. Kristi CampbellDecember 21, 2014 at 10:20 PM

    Elvis on your pelvis??? WHen already am I allowed to come to your house??? Love these!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaDecember 24, 2014 at 12:19 AM

      I have an extra room here whenever you want to crash…..

      Delete
  22. RenaDecember 22, 2014 at 10:19 AM

    Merry Christmas Marcia! I hope you have as good of a year this year as you did this past one! You deserve it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaDecember 24, 2014 at 12:20 AM

      Awwww…thanks so much, Rena! With those brand new twin grand babies of your, I'd say you are in for a FANTASTIC New Year! XO

      Delete
  23. karenDecember 22, 2014 at 10:56 AM

    OMG...too funny. I have the same condition, I get hungry too!!! Merry Christmas

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    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaDecember 24, 2014 at 12:21 AM

      I am ALWAYS hungry…..what's up with that?!? I hate diets…...

      Delete
  24. Nicole ChardenetDecember 22, 2014 at 8:13 PM

    Calories don't count at Christmas. It's a scientific fact. That is, if you're a scientist who's been hitting the egg nog all day long and squints the right way then....that amoeba is *beautiful*, he thinks he's in love...no wait, that chart DOES in fact point out that calories don't count at Christmas!!! :)

    And I repeat! Christmas mudslides. Don't finish up another holiday season without them! ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaDecember 24, 2014 at 12:23 AM

      Agreed! Christmas and New Year's are a calorie free zone days and I pllan on taking advantage of that….

      Delete
  25. Bryan JonesDecember 24, 2014 at 10:12 AM

    You've left me with a wonderful image of your brothel Christmas tree.

    Have a great Christmas and New Year, Marcia.

    ReplyDelete
  26. AnonymousDecember 24, 2014 at 3:30 PM

    I thought I was one of the only people who did the coffee to alcohol thing ... oops. I meant that I only do that when I have things to do too. Hope you have a great holiday with your family and that the demons keep to themselves for the week!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaDecember 26, 2014 at 3:22 PM

      LOL me too! Thanks for stopping by and Merry Christmas!

      Delete
  27. TamaraDecember 31, 2014 at 9:26 AM

    Haha, I suffer from the hunger condition as well, Plus I need a decoration intervention - what time is that cookie support group taking place?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. menopausal mamaJanuary 2, 2015 at 12:06 PM

      I'll let you know----maybe we can grab a cup of coffee on the way to eating all those cookies!

      Delete

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