My WWW guest today is very special to me----she has been my blogging buddy since the early days and she's also one of the sweetest women on the planet. Please welcome Michele (Shellybean) Marriott of Follow Me Home. For years, Michele and I have joked about meeting up one day---I keep telling her I'm saving her a seat in my garden so that we can share some wine and talk the night away. We both have several children close in age and we both have the same, zany sense of humor. Her humorous blog posts always make me smile and want to reach through the computer screen to give her a big hug. One of these days, I know we will meet up and finally share that glass of wine. Michele has a heart of gold and I love her to bits. Please welcome my dear and talented friend to my site today. Thanks!**Side note** This concludes my Wacky Wednesday Writer guest series until further notice. I need to concentrate on promoting my book in 2015 but will continue to entertain you with my humor blog posts every Friday!
“I'd
like the opportunity to explain why I wore heels to do the laundry
last week.”
Yeah,
I said it. Heels. High, strappy, patent leather heels. To wash dirty
clothes. At home.
You
see, I'm a stay at home mom now. Actually, I've been one for a few
years. Not to seem stereotypical, but SAHMs need to dress comfortably
for, um...staying at home. Or going to the grocery, or making runs up
to the school for the occasionally forgotten
backpack/homework/instrument/lunch. Most of the time though, we're
tending to things inside of the house.
I
also work from home running my little bag shop. Still. If I'm not
lying on the floor drafting patterns, I'm contorting myself like a
kid playing Twister to cut fabric. Even sitting up to the old Singer
sewing machine does not involve dressing in wool slacks or blazers or
ahem, stripper-height shoes.
It
was an epiphany (brought on by a much needed Swiffer-fest of my
closet.) -The "aha" moment when I looked around and
realized that I live in holey jeans, tank tops and cardigans. They
are the uniform of my life. Usually topped off with a pair of
flip-flops. The colors of tanks or sweaters may change. I might
venture into the occasional yoga outfit or ballet flats, but in
reality this is who I had become.
I
decided that night (mid-pout) that I didn't have to look
"comfortable". There are always the moms with the bejeweled
jeans and heels hanging out at the elementary school. (Don't ask.)
There are ladies with perfectly coiffed hair buying up the healthy
cereal at the market. Why couldn't I try a little harder?
The
next morning, I made it happen. I brushed ALL-the-WAY through my
hair. I brushed and flossed the BACK teeth. I put on my nice wool
pants that had a dust line from where they had laid on the hanger so
long. I buttoned up my blouse and slipped on those gorgeous shoes.
Stopping at the mirror, I clasped on my metal bracelet and fastened a
tiny pair of pearl earrings. I was set.
I
carefully walked down the stairs. I was standing a little taller
(both figuratively and literally). I walked over to the laundry room
clicking on the tile floor as proper ladies do, and opened the
laundry chute. Jeans first. Little boy jeans with a pocket full of
sand and a package of half-eaten gummy bears. The sand fell and left
a trail down my nice pants. I tried to throw the gummies onto the
counter. I wasn't even close. They scattered across the floor.
Breathing harder, I pulled a fully soaked towel out that was
connected to 37 other towels and assorted socks. The socks were sandy
too. As I reached over the side of the dryer for the "sock that
got away", my rock-star shoes slipped on the sandy tile and I
landed on my fancy-looking butt atop the soaking wet pile of towels.
A
few words not worth repeating. A deep breath realizing how ridiculous
I looked. A weak moment when I dusted off one of those gummies and
ate it. Who was I kidding?
I
undressed right there, down to my skivvies. I pulled open a drawer
and grabbed a rubber band. The jewelry went in the drawer and my hair
went in a bun. I finished the laundry that day. Looking just like
that. The heels sat there in the laundry room for a few days to
remind me how foolish I had been.
There
may have been tears. There may have been shocked neighbors watching a
42-year-old woman folding towels in her underwear. There may have
even been a few less gummy bears. Who can tell?
I've
learned my lessons.
1.
No more playing dress up.
2.
Kids MUST empty their pockets before throwing their clothes down the
chute.
3.
Kids must notify mom before throwing down soaking wet towels.
4.
Gummy bears, in a crisis, can surpass the five-second rule.
Happy
"Be-yourself-all-of-the-time" day, friends!
BIO:
Michele
(Shellybean) Marriott is a mom to three and a wife to one. (Hey, she
lives in Utah!) When she’s not blogging, she’s creating bags for
her shop, “shellybean” or eating doughnuts.
You
can find her blog, “Follow Me Home” at
http://followmehome.shellybean.com
I think Gummy Bears have been found in Egyptian tombs, and they were still edible, long after the five minute rule.
ReplyDeleteOMG so true, right? Gotta wonder what those things look like after sitting in your intestines for awhile….
DeleteWhen the kids were small, Gummy Bears were a food group of their own. My married daughter has packs of them in her car. She just can't break the cycle either :)
DeleteMichele is not only a true, honest and reliable friend, but I think she's the funniest blogger on the planet, and this post is proof. My luckiest day blogging, when I'd only been at it for 6 weeks, was the day she wandered over to my blog and became my friend. She was the reason behind the Secret Subject Swap which turned into a community of friends I cherish. Over 2 years later and I'm still so grateful to have her in my life.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree---she's one of the funniest bloggers and also the sweetest. She's always supported Meno Mama through thick and thin---a loyal friend to the end---and that's hard to find these days. WE LOVE YOU, MICHELE! <3
DeleteWell, I'm coming back to read this every day of my life. Thanks for your support and love through this whole blogging process. My heart is so full right now. <3 to you both.
DeleteThat is the sort of mental crisis I have every now and then. It's too hot where I live to even try dressing up and I agree... Michele is funny :) I hope you have a lovely holiday season Marcia x
ReplyDeleteHot weather? First of all, you're lucky (I'm wrapped up in sweaters and quilts right now), 2nd, wearing minimal clothing allows a girl to get things done. Mental Crisis was the exact state of mind that day :)
DeleteOMG Michele! You are so funny...love you for making me silently giggle at 1am in the night while struggling to sleep in between my two adorable kiddies:) Thank you making me smile ...I loves to smile and feel happy all the time.
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed this post thoroughly; and there was so many deep thoughts within it, which you have portrayed so beautifully in this- sometimes exciting, sometimes boring life of a SAHMs. Bookmarked this post:)
Love
Epsita from The Positive Window
epsita.blogspot.com
Epsita, 1am? Oh those mornings...I'm so glad to have brought a smile to you. Thank you for your kind words. I'll be sure to come say hello to your blog :) Get some rest!!
DeleteI'm sitting here finishing up blogging at midnight, still in the sweatpants I put on this morning (just till the house warmed up) - and this was the perfect post to read! Thanks for the laugh - and for making me feel better that I didn't put on my heels today!
ReplyDeleteNever put on your heels for midnight blogging, Susan! You enjoy those sweats. Waistbands prevent the mind from flowing its creative juices :) Thanks for commenting <3
DeleteThis is the kind of post that makes a dad want to kiss a mom on the forehead. I think these are moments dads just know so little about! Although, when I was home during the day, I'd have loved if a neighbor or two folded laundry in their skivvies. I'm a dad after all.
ReplyDeleteAw, Eli! That is so sweet. My husband read the post and said, "Call me the next time you're doing laundry in your skivvies, or if you see a neighbor who is..." That's love, man. :)
DeleteSurely this is a site well worth seeing.
ReplyDeleteThank you! Stop by the blog any time!
Deletehahahaa....totally enjoyed reading the post, Michele. And it is so true about the moms in hair done and walking to school in high heels. Every day I drop my daughter at school before leaving to work, my hair is a mess. I comb it roughly as soon as I get to work. Anything worse than that?
ReplyDeleteEven when I was teaching, I couldn't compete with those moms. They must have multiple people getting them ready in the morning. I still haven't been able to figure it out :)
DeleteI loved the bittersweet and funny of this post! I was a work out of the home mom and then started working at home in the full sweatpants-barely-more-than-pajamas mode, also wondering about the bejeweled jeans and baseball capped moms at the elementary school. I, too, sometimes look at the elegant work clothes hanging unused in my closet and wonder if I should give them away. I certain don't fit in them anymore...
ReplyDeleteGreat post, thank you!