Welcome to another Fly On The Wall group challenge, hosted by karen of http://www.bakinginatornado.com. Thirteen bloggers are participating today to give you a glimpse into their private worlds. This month, that pesky fly crashed my birthday celebration and aimed right for the coveted birthday cake. I swatted him away from the sugary confection, but this is what the uninvited guest overheard:
"Isn't it great becoming a year older? You recognize all the music playing in elevators and mysterious skin tags show up in your arm pits."
"How would you like to spend your birthday?"
"Tipsy shopping and drunk eating, of course."
"The rabbit just peed all over my foot. Do you suppose that's his way of wishing me a happy birthday?"
"You'd better stop poking fun at me for getting a year older. I have BIG plans for you."
"Oh yeah? Like what?"
"When you turn eighty, I'm going to strap you into your wheel chair with duct tape, slather you with peanut butter and sunflower seeds, then leave you out in the backyard all day to become a human bird feeder."
"The first person who buys me adult bladder leakage pads for my birthday will be placed on pug poop patrol for an entire month!"
"There will be no talk of corn porn on my birthday."
"Why not? Don't you want to be 'buttered up' on your special day?"
"Oh gawd, I'm living with a pack of neanderthals."
"It's pretty sad that I can sum up the past year of my life in five words: wine, Nutella, squirrels, blogging and menopause."
"I think you'd better slow down on the partying. It looks like you've either jammed or broken your finger. Do you need to go to the emergency clinic?"
"Are you kidding? I can't do that. You were just there to have eight stitches put in your hand. That doctor is going to look at our double injuries and think, 'What have you kinky-ass people been
"What are your plans for your birthday?"
" Cleaning up the chinchilla's poop."
"My, you lead a glamorous life."
"I already know what I'm giving you for your birthday: a coupon organizer, miracle wrinkle cream made from goat pee extracts and a lifetime supply of ibuprofen."
"I'm so sweaty in this dress, I have to wing out my thighs."
"Go ahead and eat the leftover grounds from your Turkish coffee. I need you to stay awake tonight for the party."
"You're lucky---you can eat as much cake a you want because you have the metabolism of a gnat. Mine, on the other hand, is more like a turtle's. In this case, slow and steady does NOT win the race."
"What? No sexy thongs for a birthday gift?"
"Your butt floss days are over. But I WILL buy you a case of dental floss."
"Did you give the pug your birthday dinner leftovers? He just farted and I swear it smells like Cantonese shrimp."
"Nothing is worse than waking up with a hangover. I smell stale garlic and rum on my breath. I need a mouth douche."
"Leftover birthday cake and ice cream at 7:00a.m. It's the breakfast of champions."
The night of my birthday celebration, we closed down the restaurant.....because folks, that's how we do birthdays Doyle style!
****NEWS FLASH**** I have more, exciting news to share with you! Meno Mama is once again honored to be a contributing author in another newly released book, Sunshine After The Storm. It's a collaboration of stories from parents sharing their stories of pregnancy and infant loss. The book is beautifully written, providing hope and support to grieving families. It is currently available through Amazon.com. Order your copy today!
Please be sure to visit all 13 bloggers participating in today's Fly On The Wall group challenge!
http://BakingInATornado.com Baking In A Tornado
http://www.justalittlenutty.com/ Just a Little Nutty
http://followmehome.shellybean.com Follow me home . . .
http://stacysewsandschools.wordpress.com/ Stacy Sews and Schools
http://thesadderbutwisergirl.com The Sadder But Wiser Girl
http://www.menopausalmom.com/ Menopausal Mother
http://mooreorganizedmayhem.blogspot.com/ Moore Organized Mayhem
http://www.theinsomniacsdream.com/ The Insomniac’s Dream
http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/ Spatulas on Parade
http://www.therowdybaker.com The Rowdy Baker
http://www.trashyblog.com/ Trashy Blog
http://dates2diapers2.blogspot.com Dates 2 Diapers
http://sorrykidblog.com/ Sorry kid, Your Mom Doesn’t Play Well With Others