Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Wacky Wednesday Writers Blog Guest Post By: Trashy Blog

   
 I absolutely adore my guest blogger today on Wacky Wednesday Writers. Shay from http://www.trashyblog.com has me howling with laughter every time I read her posts.  She gives her readers a sneak peek into snippets of her private life and the escapades of her youth that many people would be too embarrassed to share. Shay is fearless in her writing, and that's what I love most about her.  The raw humor and honesty in her blog posts make her the perfect blogger for me to feature and I am so happy to be able to share her awesomeness with you here today! Shay calls herself a trashy skank but deep down this lady has a heart of gold and is one of the sweetest bloggers in the blogosphere.
     Please welcome Shay to Meno Mama's site today and give her some comment love when you finish snickering over her humorous post!




Etch-a-Sketch My Heart
The other day, my preschooler was mad because I made him eat a green bean.  

Before I knew what was happening, he had scrawled an angry picture of me all over his mini Etch-a-Sketch, the same mini Etch-a-Sketch that I’d recently bought him for when he was bored at church.

Ingrate.

The preschooler thrust it up toward my face to show me what he’d done.   “Look, Mom.  I drew a picture of you.”

I knew that he was angry with me and trying to make a point, but when I glanced down at the picture, I stopped in my tracks.  I simply couldn’t get past the vision of beautiful he’d just drawn.  I gaped in awe.  “She’s so thin…” I murmured, afraid to speak too loudly and ruin the moment.

My preschooler sighed.  “Yeah, Mom, but don’t you see?  She’s got a big X through her face—“

“You mean, her little dainty face?” I asked, happy tears threatening to spill over as I continued to gaze at the picture, now stroking it lovingly with my fingers.  I looked down at my boy and smiled sweetly.  “Is this how you see me?  With a cute little button nose?”

He huffily grabbed the Etch-a-Sketch and brought it close to his face, peering at it intently. “Mom, I didn’t even draw a nose --”

I snatched the Etch-a-Sketch back for a better look.  “Really?  Even better.”  I stood there, reveling at the smooth face, sans humongous nose, that he had drawn.  I was fervently trying to figure out if there was a way to plug a jump drive into that mofo so I could print out the portrait.  It was hard to do; I couldn’t move it too much for fear of shaking up the sand inside and ruining the picture.  

As I was trying, something else caught my eye.  “She…she doesn’t even have a gut,” I whispered, mesmerized by this supermodel pedestal that my son obviously puts me on.  I looked to him for an explanation.

My son rolled his eyes, his little shoulders drooping in frustration.  “It’s a stick figure, Mom.  You don’t draw bellies on stick figures.”

I thought back to all of the drawings I’d made of my best friend Leigh in college to get her back for nicknaming me Tori Spelling for the several “similar horselike facial features” that Leigh insisted I shared with the actress. 

“If you’re trying to be an asshole, you do,” I said to my preschooler, imparting one of the many lessons I’d like to make sure he carries with him through life.

My little guy sighed.  “The point is, Mom, that my drawing of you has a huge X through the face because I’m angry with you.”  Another sigh as he held out his hands.  “Just give it back to me.”

I held it higher in the air.  “Sorry, kiddo,” I said.  “We can’t shake this bastard up.  We’re saving it for life.”

As my son digested this information and became even angrier with me, I gently set the Etch-a-Sketch aside, bent down so that I was eye level with him, and cupped his face in my hands so that he felt the seriousness of the situation.  

“Don’t worry, Buddy,” I said, looking straight into his eyes.  “We’ll get you another Etch-a-Sketch—a bigger and better one.  Because you’ve obviously got artistic talent—no.  It goes further than that.  You’re a prodigy, child, do you understand this?  An artistic, Etch-a-Sketching prodigy.  And don’t ever let anyone tell you differently.”

My son is smart.  I saw those little wheels a-turning, and I knew that he understood that somehow he’d  failed to make his point with the Etch-a-Sketch and the X through the face.  

But he also knew that Mom had just called him a prodigy, and that that sure did sound like a compliment.  So he gave me a self-satisfied smile, nodded, and walked away to do little prodigy things.

I, on the other hand, snapped a picture of the Etch-a-Sketch just to have a momento in case someone accidentally knocked it off the top of the cabinet, where it is now proudly displayed.



Trashy Blog was created and is written by Shay, who posts once a week—normally on Fridays, when she has time to kick back with a beer and trash her skanky little heart out.  Check her out at www.trashyblog.com. 

38 comments:

  1. This was cute how you found the good in the picture and the whole thing didn't get out of hand... sweet :)

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    1. I think it's important to remind ourselves of that as moms...otherwise we'd be walking around grumpy all day! My little guy is quite the comedian, too, so it was easy to laugh. :)

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  2. Marcia!! I swear I got tears in my eyes reading your introduction of me--and that's no exaggeration! I've said it before, and I'll say it again. You are LOVELY. Thanks for the feature!!

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  3. Mama teachin' her boy some awesome life lessons. LOVE IT!!!! Oh, and the Tori Spelling story is truly classic!!!!

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    1. She'll still call me that when she wants to make a point!! Haha

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  4. I will say that it is the little things to put a smile on our faces, but if my kids drew me slim and with a non-existent nose, I would love that picture for life!! And sorry but the Tori Spelling reference had me rolling laughing!! :)

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    1. Thanks, Janine! Back in the day, it used to make me mad. But I've gotten so much blog material from it that I have forgiven her. :)

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  5. Ha! Great post.
    I always found Tori Spelling rather attractive.
    Just saying.

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    1. Awesome! I would tell my best friend that, but then she'd probably come up with a new, worse one to use against me. Haha

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  6. This is hilarious! It's all in how we see it, isn't it? Great life lesson for your son that sometimes women just leave you scratching your head.

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    1. Kathy--the only problem is that I leave him scratching his head so often that he's learned to laugh off most of my reactions!! Haha. But he knows when it's time to be serious, so there's that. I am hoping to teach him that it's okay to laugh at life--most of the time. :)

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  7. LOL, you took those lemons your son was throwing at you and made lemonade. Now just get him to throw some vodka at you and you've got something!

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    1. Now why don't I think logically like this, Karen? I need to think more like you do...because GREAT IDEA! :)

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  8. LOVED your reaction! Absolutely perfect! But more importantly . . . does your son do commissions? I have a few features I'd like left out of my next portrait.

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    1. Hahahaha, Diane! I need to get him into some art classes to perfect that talent so he can make some money!

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  9. Now that's what parenting is all about! Learning to play the game their way. Brilliant post.

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  10. Popped over to her blog and read some more of her posts. Hilarious! Just loved it and will be a frequent visitor.

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    1. That's awesome, Lanthie! I know Shay will appreciate that!

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    2. Lanthie, thank you so much. It means the world to me, and trust me, I will check out your blog this evening, too! Thanks again!

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    1. Would it sound psycho to say I love you? Haha. But seriously--thank you, Talya!

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  12. Such a cute story! I think my son would love a mini etch-a-sketch! Im going to have to look for one! =)

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    1. Mini etch-a-sketch: A great creative outlet for kids and an even better self-esteem builder fo rmoms. :)

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  13. OMG!!! LMFAO!!! This TOTALLY made my night!!! LOL! Loved it!

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    1. Awww, thank you!! What an awesome comment!

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  14. I loved every word of this! All over a green bean too!

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    1. Thank you!!!! And the thing is, he normally LOVES green beans. I think he just wanted an excuse to be mad at me and test out his artistic skillz. :)

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  15. Well, at least he picked something really important to get mad about. I'm impressed he could draw anything on that stupid etch a sketch. I never could!

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    1. Well, the X was the prominent feature, and I'm pretty sure the rest was kind of what I wanted to see. It's the only way to make it through life, right? Haha

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  16. That's hilarious!!!! I love it!!! xoxo

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  17. I'm with Dana-I'm Etch a Sketch challenged! I know I could never do it!

    I've been known to snap a few pics of the magnadoodle and the dry erase boards before-just to capture those magic moments... :-)

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    1. We've got to capture them when we can! I mean, we never know when another moment like this is going to come along, right? My little Picasso...

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  18. Parenting: You're doing it right!!! Love this.

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