I'm thrilled to introduce you to my new Wacky Wednesday Writers guest today! Please welcome Joy Christi of Comfytown Chronicles to my blog site! I've always enjoyed reading Joy's blog but didn't get to know her until we started chatting in a private Facebook group for writers. It has been such a pleasure interacting with the woman behind the hilarious blog!Joy describes herself as a "mostly foul-mouthed, immature hooligan and sometimes a sweet mother of 3 doing my best." When you visit her blog, you'll be treated to some of her reader's favorite posts about 80's prom pictures, Hogwarts Hotties and weird halloween costumes. She often includes funny memes and photos with her posts, which always bring a smile to my face. Her guest post today has me in stitches because I have grown children of my own and can relate to EVERYTHING she has written here.
Kick back and relax, folks. This is a funny one! Please welcome Joy to Meno Mama's site today with lots of comment love. Thanks!
MOTIVATING YOUNG ADULTS
If getting ADHD/ODD (or any) teens through high school is a battle, trying to guide these young adults into adulthood is World War Can’t. Mission: NotPossible. I wish I could offer advice on these special not-quite-adults, but just like children, adults and Anal Polyps, each is different.
I’m no expert on your young adult. If I wrote a blog on the subject you could find it at www.iCan’t@Even.com, however I have learned a few things about mine, mostly the hard way. My one piece of advice to survive this stage with any hair left on your head, is to focus all of your energy on making them financially and completely self-dependent. As soon as possible. Then when you can’t take anymore, fast forward their independence.
Meaning: Kick their hams out the door.
The mere threat of being on their own is enough motivation for some young adults to start them on a path. Mine has always pushed to the limit, and then a little farther. Once you feel they're able to provide for themselves, stop making their lives at all comfortable. They may not ever launch into their own orbit if their life in your home is easy and enjoyable.
Here are some tips on that kind motivation, in no particular order.
Stop buying their favorite food, and all edible snacks.
They can get a(nother) job and buy their own snacks. If you want snacks your own in the house, hide them well. NOT anywhere in the kitchen, they’re smarter than that, and how many hollowed-out bags of broccoli can you realistically have in your freezer before tipping your hand?
(Answer: About 4.)
In fact, this is the perfect time to:
Dramatically announce your family is going vegan/paleo/all organic.
Nothing makes my son more angry than “Meatless Monday.”
Think of them as a roommate, start treating them like one. Start thinking and acting like the worst roommate you can imagine. They should probably get used to it.
Make them install something similar to the Homeslice app on their phone. Homeslice is basically an electronic whiteboard for divvying up chores, groceries, bills, etc. You want to make SURE you can annoy them when they’re not home.
Why should leaving the house for small amounts of time mean the annoyance should stop? YOU are still annoyed by their actions when they’re not there, right? Send that youngin reminder texts, full of slang, dawg! Youngins love texts. And adults using their slang, yo.
What else do bad roommates do?
If you see they bought or brought home leftover food, be sure to eat it, even if they marked it as theirs. What? That’s what bad roommates do. Trust me on this.
When you see their laundry in the washer/dryer, leave it in a crumpled ball on the floor.
No more thinking that if you teach them how to be considerate, they will follow suit. After years of failed negoatiating (yelling) mine only learns the hard way.
At least he will now leave our clothes on TOP of the dryer, though he still won’t fold it or even place it nicely. Back at ya, Bro.
If they leave their dirty dishes all over, take all of the clean ones from the cabinets and hide them.
They open the drawer to find NO forks, spoons or knives anywhere to be found, just a note telling them to go get their dirty ones and wash them.
This did eventually work to some extent with my son, but we were REALLY tired of hunting for flatware when we needed it. I needed to carry a survival backpack of supplies.
Speaking of hiding, move their jackets, shoes, any clutter they leave lying around, and hide them. Either tell them you’ve donated them, or actually donate them. There are in fact, many people in our country who would love and take care of those expensive sneakers, so why shouldn’t they have them?
“Oh you needed those shoes? Here’s a Kohl’s coupon and some bus fare, they close at 9:00. This will never happen when you live by yourself, just sayin’.”
Leave the toilet paper roll empty.
Tell them they have to buy their own. They can buy it from you, but cash in advance. No credit! This is another item for your backpack of survival essentials. It’s also a perfect place for your hidden snacks.
Hit them where it hurts. If they don’t like it, they will be more motivated to work and save for their own place.
What works for some, may not work for others. Some don’t like their privacy “invaded” so when they’re out, go in their space and move things around. They’ll think you were snooping, this drives them crazy.
My son wasn’t too bothered by most of this, so I had to step up my game. Hiding plates and flatware didn’t bother him, he just eats with his hands. But telling him I used his razor to shave my personal parts? I could tell that was a Home Run. He is also grossed out by my under garments hanging to dry in the bathroom. Make sure to leave it there right before their shower time.
Pro-tip: Don’t forget to take that down when your in-laws come over.
If this doesn’t work, you’re going to have to play dirty. Or, at least tell them that’s what you did on their bed. If they don’t believe you, consider a sending them a selfie of you in their room, but remember these pictures could (and mostly likely will) end up in front of their friends’ eyeballs.
If that doesn’t bother your young adult, not much will.
You’ll know what is best (worst) for your child, dig deep. Don’t be afraid to leave emotional scars. Our parents weren’t afraid of that, were they? Keep your eyes on the prize, soon they’ll be out and on their own. As my mother said of almost all my siblings at this age, “You did your part, they’re society’s problem now.”
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Joy Christ writes Comfytown Chronicles, which is sometimes a blog about a mother of 3 just doing her best, but mostly is about silly humor, cussing, day-drinking, binge eating and other things she won’t go to meetings for.
Read just how low she can go at the following places
Thanks for having me! I also learned that if I wait to start the dishwasher AND a load of towels on hot, RIGHT when he gets in the shower, he takes a super fast shower! (Because we run out of hot water.)
ReplyDeleteTogether we can un-entitle this generation. And we'll have a good laugh doing it.
LOVE having you here today! I think we need to start a support group and share these awesome ideas of yours!
DeleteLove the irreverence! Always my go-to on a blah day!
ReplyDeleteLaughter is the best medicine, she always has plenty of laughs here!
DeleteThis is so true! We did these with our kids and they are both financially independent and living on their own happily! My husband who wakes up at the crack of dawn everyday would go in on Saturday waking our kids up at 8 a.m. yelling and knocking on their bedroom doors "Housekeeping"! It was hilarious!
ReplyDeleteThat is awesome. Glad to hear it works :) My son sleeps like a coma patient, but luckily my 2 preschoolers are loud and tenacious! They are great little alarm clocks. Otherwise, he would sleep until evening on his days off work.
DeleteMust keep these in mind for when I do eventually have a teenager. lol
ReplyDeleteDon't be afraid to play dirty! They will :)
DeleteJoy, I love the Homeslice App idea!! And wow...you sure have plenty of tricks up those sleeves!
ReplyDeleteI wish I had thought of it! I would be rich :)
DeleteThere's much wisdom in your recommendations, Joy, clearly acquired from painful experience.
ReplyDeleteCan you tell? Oh I've seen things. Maybe someday I'll have the strength to write about them :)
DeleteI don't even have kids but this was funny! I think I need to share this with a sister or two :-)
ReplyDeleteHa! Please do. I feel like kids share their special ways to ann--I mean handle parents, so we need to band together too.
DeleteMy sister has had all THREE of her kids 'struggle' to leave the nest...
ReplyDeleteI am SO passing this post on to her!! LOVE!
Ugh. I have 3 kids and I fear that is my fate! At least I have these tricks documented in case I forget by the time the little ones are that age.
DeleteOh my gosh too funny... I love my children but once my oldest got to an age where she thought she could run me... I told her to move out... people thought I was being mean to her...lol, I was not, it was the best thing I ever did for her... She was working at a bakery part time, now she is married to a sweet man, has an adorable little boy and is a dept manager of graphic art design...
ReplyDeleteI take credit for this... lol, if I hadn't suggested strongly that she move out, she would still be working part time at the bakery.
I love these ideas and they are hilarious :)
That is just what a lot of kids need! Iron Chef Michael Symon said when he got home from graduating culinary school, his dad gave him ONE WEEK to find a place to live! He moved into a college dorm w his friends. He said it totally motivated him and he's glad that happened. I will have to do that with my son, it's pretty much a matter of WHEN.
DeleteI LOVE it, Joy! It reminds me of the hilarious tips that Kim from One Classy Motha gives. So creative and funny!!
ReplyDeleteI love her, she's hilarious! And I love that some people think I'm joking about these. I wish.
DeleteMy husband too! (and when it comes to cleaning kinda ME too!) :)
ReplyDeleteMy Spawn always used to steal my nail scissors. When I told him that I actually used them to trim my Lady Garden, it took all his self-control not to heave up the contents of his stomach. He hasn't touched them since...
ReplyDeleteA wonderfully funny post that had me laughing out loud.
That is awesome! Remember when our parents didn't care if they embarrassed us? I'm pretty sure my dad actually really LIKED it. We need more of that in today's parenting! For entertainment if nothing else.
DeleteWe truly have to do whatever it takes to win The War.
ReplyDeleteFor about a minute, I thought "The War" ? Then I went back and re-read what I wrote, oh yeah, World War CAN'T! Yes, all is fair in love and war!
DeleteHere's to unentitlement! Raise your glasses!
ReplyDeleteI raise SEVERAL, every day! Thanks for reading.
DeleteFree takeout leftovers, brilliant!
ReplyDeleteWe don't have the same taste in food, but you keep your eyes on the big prize.
DeleteOh my goodness this post cracked me up from start to finish.................I had some pretty lazy teenage daughters
ReplyDeleteGlad you got a chuckle. Sounds like you had some typical daughters :)
DeleteAll suggestions written down and will be laminated... ;-) Funny post Joy!
ReplyDeletehahaha I can picture this hanging on a refrigerator! Like my parents hung their wooden "Fanny Paddle"s up all over the place. They got a gross of the things somewhere, we even had one hanging up in the garage! I'm so glad you enjoyed it, Sarah.
DeleteJoy and Marcia in one place? I LOVE IT! HAHAH this is hilarious, Joy. Seriously funny. I wish I'd read it a few years ago when my step daughter still lived with us (we eventually had to kick her out but now she's just freeloading off her mom and her mom's boyfriend and NOT going to school). I remember being in high school and coming home from a friend's house and NOTHING was on the floor of my room (as in all of my clothes and stuff). They were outside in a trashbag, and I had to dig through real trash to get them all and then wash them myself. A good lesson. I'm barely scarred at all.
ReplyDeleteHa! That sounds like a very interesting experience to say the least! I remember never seing the floor of my room through all of high school, but my parents had their hands full with my older siblings.
DeleteHoly crap Joy! Talk about Tough Love! You are one evil and demented, but brilliant Mom! So glad my parents did not have access to this blog post back when I was a teen or I would have been in a lot more trouble!
ReplyDeleteYou? Trouble? Well I just can't not believe that. They did something right, I'm sure you never have a lot of laundry lying around with all the naked blogging :)
DeleteGreat Article. This is Really helpful and Valuable Post. Thanks for Sharing with us.
ReplyDeleteJoin forces against the dark side.
DeleteI like the idea about hiding all the clean dishes. So much fun and useful information here. Thanks, and take care.
ReplyDeleteThat one was fun for awhile. We ran out of hiding places in the kitchen. We're looking into large lock boxes next.
DeleteHILARIOUS. But I didn't just laugh....I took notes, because my boys are 7 and 10yo and I'm already ready for them to have their own apartment!!! I need to use some of these ideas, like, NOW. Especially when it comes to them keeping their gameroom clean. I need to hide the computer and tell them they'll get it back when their room is clean.
ReplyDeleteHa. Have you seen that picture going around about changing the WiFi password? It's a note that says if the kids want the new password they need to do chores and walk the dog. That is pretty genius. We need to keep up with the technology ;)
DeleteOmigodomigodomigod!!! I just realized that one day my 7 year old (who is plenty disgusting already) is going to be a full grown disgusting teenager, and I'm gonna have to hide the forks. I'll be drowning in red wine in 5,4,3,2,1...
ReplyDeleteTeenagers are always interesting. Teenage boys? Oh, honey I can't even tell you. I'm sure yours will be just fine :)
DeleteOh yeah, baby! This is perfect and HILARIOUS! I am keeping this list for future reference and am really wishing I had it a few years ago. Brilliant!
ReplyDeleteGlad to be of service!
Delete