Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Wacky Wednesday Writers Guest Post By: So Then Stories

     I feel incredibly fortunate to feature this popular humorist today on my site! Please welcome Darcy Perdu of So The Stories ! I've been a HUGE fan of Darcy's writing for a long time and was ridiculously excited to meet her at the Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop 2014 conference in Dayton, Ohio last month. She's as sweet and funny in real life as she is on her blog and I just adore her! We had a great time connecting and I can't wait to meet up with her again at ERMA 2016.
     Darcy shares hilarious stories on her blog right out of the pages of her life that include some of her most embarrassing moments and outrageous blunders. I'm laughing WITH her, not AT her, when I read her posts because they're so relatable.
     This funny lady is a BlogHer Humor Voty award winner two years in a row, now. She is THAT GOOD! Please welcome Darcy to Meno Mama's site today with lots of comment love!



Smackdown: Old Biddies vs. Rowdy Moms
By Darcy Perdu

So then…we shriek with laughter, pounding our fists on the table, slapping our thighs – with tears rolling down our faces.
The diners at the tables near us turn to look, so we shush each other, giggling like schoolgirls.

It’s Mom’s Night Out and the four of us are lettin’ off steam, swillin’ cocktails, and skewering our husbands, our kids, and ourselves. No one’s safe from our mockery and teasing, including each other. We’re swapping stories, revealing embarrassing moments, and asking those awkward personal questions you can only ask your really close girlfriends.

We’re trying to be considerate of our fellow restaurant patrons, but we’re on a roll – chatting and laughing and -- yes, even squealing. Either we are downright HILARIOUS – or these cocktails are mighty potent!

Most people are engaged in their own conversations, but there’s one table of elderly diners who keep eyeing us. Every time a gust of laughter bellows from our table, the white-haired ladies look our way and their husbands frown in our direction.

We pull back to a dull roar, but then the stories start again and we’re chattering away like magpies.

As I’m gesticulating wildly to illustrate my story, a server approaches our table. I quickly sit on my hands.

(Just last week I was out to dinner with my Mom, friends, and kids at a lovely restaurant, where I told a similar story that required enthusiastic hand gestures. Just as a server walked by, my sudden arm movements smacked into his tray and shot his entrees and drinks in all directions!

I was mortified, of course, and rushed to help him. Everyone at our table was shocked and attending to the disaster throughout the aisle – except for my Mom who calmly continued eating her clam chowder while the server frantically wiped steak sauce from her shoe. Ain’t nobody gettin’ between my mama and her chowder.

When the manager rushed over, I apologized profusely, but he cut me off gracefully and said that the restaurant bears full responsibility and could they please comp my mother’s meal?

Hells yeah! We made sure that the server wasn’t in trouble (he wasn’t) -- and once all was cleaned up, we commenced eating -- and talking (albeit a bit more calmly than before).

Mom noted that the chowder was delicious.

My kids urged me to “Tell more stories! Tell more stories!” so we could upend more trays and get more meals comped.)

So you can see why I’m a bit nervous tonight that we’re making such a ruckus at this restaurant. I don’t want any more flying entrees – and I certainly don’t want any disgruntled customers complaining that we’re too noisy.

So we keep our voices low, eat some, drink some, laugh a little, drink some more, laugh a lot, and before you know it, we’re giggling and guffawing, chortling and snorting.

The four elder patrons keep looking over here. I just know we’re moments away from an intervention.

Finally they finish their meals and the men head for the front door, but the two older ladies approach our table!

My girlfriends and I freeze.

Here we are, mothers ourselves, about to be reprimanded by women who are the age of OUR mothers. I’m having flashbacks to my Catholic school days when the disapproving nuns would scold our rowdy behavior.

I immediately stammer, “I’m so sorry if we disrupted your dinner by being so loud!”

The taller lady says, “Not at all! We just came to say you girls look like you’re having a blast!”

“Yeah,” says the shorter one. “We kept wishing we were at YOUR table instead of with THOSE guys!” She points her thumb over her shoulder at the husbands picking up mints at the hostess stand.

We die laughing! “Then come sit with us!” we say. We scoot over in the booth to make room for them, but they laugh and say they have to go.

“We just wanted to say it was great to see you girls out having such a good time and so full of energy,” says the taller one. “Enjoy your night! You deserve it!” They smile and leave to join their husbands.

We take a moment of silence to let that sink in.

First of all, those old biddies are THE BOMB.

Second of all, I hope when I’m their age, I have the same joie de vivre and appreciation for fun and laughter and lettin’ loose -- instead of being an old stodgy judgmental curmudgeon!

And third of all, my girlfriends and I cherish that unspoken reminder to “Live, baby, live! Love, laugh, enjoy, go wild, be rowdy, have a frikkin’ BLAST – ‘cause it all goes by really fast.”

-- Darcy Perdu

(Ever get a little rowdy in a public place, laughing so hard with your friends or family? Any restaurant mishaps like the flying entrees? How about a time you thought someone might be judgmental but it all turned out great? Do tell!)



BIO
Darcy Perdu shares funny true tales about her awkward adventures, embarrassing kids, exasperating coworkers, and the ever-perplexing public at www.SoThenStories.com – then invites you to share your related stories. So the laughs keep snowballing – come join the fun! Darcy’s delighted to win a Humor VOTY Award from BlogHer in 2013 and 2014 – and hopes you’ll visit her blog to find out “what’s so damn funny?”

LINKS


51 comments:

  1. It sounds like you had a ball... I am one of the loud ones and I rarely notice until someone points it out... I am just being me... I don't believe in sitting my quietly, otherwise you might miss out on some fun.. great post, thank you for sharing :)

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  2. I love when you are expecting judgmental and get awesome instead. When the husband and I were running back from the pool to our hotel room on our last mini vacation, I checked the hall to make sure it was empty. We weren't allowed to take the towels back to our rooms (stupid hotel policy), and so I was in a dripping wet, tiny bikini, tattoos blazing for everyone to see. The hall was clear when we started our run, but right as we got to the corner around from our room, an elderly couple came out of their room. I froze in my tracks, and the woman approached me and immediately set her hand on my thigh to look at my tattoo. It was the oddest thing and I was waiting for some comment about my ink, or the tiny bathing suit, or anything. Instead I got, "That is absolutely beautiful!" And then she grabbed her husband and pushed him down to look at my thigh. So weird...but kinda nice in a weird way.

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    1. That's hilarious! I love that elderly couple!

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  3. Hell ya! I love it when women can all come together and egg each other on. That is a great story!!!

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    1. Thanks! I'm gonna be just like those cool old biddies when I grow up!

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  4. Yeah. Definitely had THAT experience. We were a group of parents out for an evening of forgetting that we were parents. We were sitting in one of the central tables at the local Dairy Queen. The only people in the place over the age of twenty. The story-telling was getting . . . enthusiastic. Suddenly a girl about 14 years old was standing beside our table. "I'm sorry," she said. "But I'm going to have to ask you to leave. You're disturbing the other patrons." We looked around. The adults were too rowdy for the teenagers? We had slipped into an alternate dimension.

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    1. No way! That's hysterical!! Booted from a Dairy Queen for rowdiness by a FOURTEEN-year-old? That's priceless! I would add that to my resume!!

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    2. AinOakPark here....THAT"S a story! Booted out of the Dairy Queen! Love it!

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  5. That's funny that you invited them to sit. I bet they got a kick out of that too. :)

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    1. If their hubbies weren't waiting for them, I do believe they'd pull up a margarita and join us!

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  6. OMG. I'm an old biddy now. I hadn't heard that term in decades!

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  7. That's awesome lol I was just using that term 'old biddy' today haha - glad it all turned out well and that they were polite and friendly about the whole situation. It's always important to cut loose and have fun, esp after parenthood enters the picture. Happy Hump day! -Iva

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    1. Thanks, Iva! That's funny you used "old biddy" today! Great minds think alike!

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    1. It was fun! We should have asked for the old biddies' phone numbers and invited them for a future Girls Night Out!

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  9. LOVE IT! My 94-year-old Grandma and I routinely get scolded at restaurants for laughing too hard. We were also followed by security at Target once--not sure what they thought we were up to, but we laughed and laughed...

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    1. Your Grandma sounds like a hoot! I love that you guys have so much fun laughing together!

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  10. LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!!! I am ALWAYS doing crazy stuff with my friends out in public!! And I am 100% on board with LIVE LIVE LIVE, LOVE LAUGH!!

    And huge shout out to those older ladies- I want to party with THEM! ;)

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    1. And now I want to party with YOU! Love your attitude!

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  11. We should all be like you - and the old ladies! My grandma is 95 and she would have joined you!

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    1. Awesome! I hope when I'm 95, I still have the lust for life and laughter! Your grandma sounds fabulous!

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  12. My girlfriends and I only go to restaurants that have a fairly high noise level, because we are so loud. That's the sign of an excellent night out. We have been asked to quiet down during our annual girls' weekend. In a spa. Evidently we were disturbing other patrons as they were trying to get their relaxation on. Whatever.

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    1. Ha! I want to party with you and your friends! And a spa weekend sounds FAB!

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  13. This is a fabulous story! I hope I never lose my zest either!!

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    1. Me too! I plan to be a slightly embarrassing ribald ol' granny with unpredictable behavior and some questionable dance moves!

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  14. Fantastic!! I too have girls' nights out with my friends and we definitely are very loud! We generally choose our restaurants as the ones playing loud music etc!! I love those old ladies! Wish they really had joined you!!

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    1. Girls Nights Out are the best! And that's smart thinkin' to choose noisy restaurants!

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  15. So, at an elderly relative's birthday gathering, a distaff relative I haven't seen for some years approached me. Apparently she had spent a few moments observing my social interaction and asked me this: "You used to be kind of a fun person. What happened?" Taken aback, I just said I ran out of gas at which she chuckled and moved on. Do you think I should have regaled her with the long list of tragedy and misfortune that took the wind out of my sails?

    Not to worry, though. I am still able to share lots of good hearty laughs several times a day with people and am not at all a gloomy person. I just thought her approach a little strange.

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    1. I think I'd have replied, "You used to be kind of a POLITE person. What happened!?"

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  16. Aww, that was such a wonderful ending. I were sure there was gonna be some fisticuffs and believe me, those old ladies fight dirty.

    You have a great way of writing Darcy. You're such a natural storyteller. :)

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    1. Thanks, Lily! High compliment indeed! I LOVE telling stories!

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  17. Just saw this at Darcy's blog and it's a riot. As usual another funny story. Drunk lady smackdown!

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    1. Ha! Thanks, Phil! What a great title for a new reality TV show: "Drunk Lady Smakdown!"

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  18. A great post, I enjoyed reading this thank you

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    1. Thanks, Jo-Anne, glad you enjoyed it!

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  19. Such a wonderful read and its really just too good to spend some me time with the closest of friends and have those infectious and loud laughs..

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    1. I agree, Ranita! The times I laugh the loudest and longest is with my good friends!

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  20. AinOakPark here again. Well, good for you for having a good time and good for them for remembering how fun that could be. I have found as I get older that I feel pretty much the same, I just LOOK older. (There's the shock.)

    We are a loud family. One of my daughters has been living in England and loud Americans make her uncomfortable. She will be married in England, and I laugh/cringe at the thought that when I leave, the female relatives there will, referring to me, say, in a slow, upper-crust accent, "Oh, HER mother! -- The FOG HORN!" I'm sure I will be able to get over it, but I WILL try to sit on my hands (literally/figuratively) while I am there.

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    1. I know what you mean. People sometimes call me "vibrant" (loud) or "vivacious" (really loud)! Ha!

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  21. Great Article. Also Nice Blog. This is Really Helpful and Valuable Post for Us. Thanks for Sharing with us.

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  22. Very cool story! Thanks for sharingn it!

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  23. Those ladies rock! Great story Darcy!

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    1. Hope I run into those Old Biddies again some time! They were a hoot!

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    1. Thanks for letting me guest post, Marcia! Your readers are awesome!!

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  25. Table 27 Saturday Dinner at EBWW2014! You probably heard us...I think most of OHIO heard us.

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  26. Awwn...those ladies sound darling! Your girls night out sounds a lot like mine. Including what I used to think were disapproving looks, but now I'm wondering...

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