Friday, October 10, 2014

Six Good Things About Raising Teenage Girls

As the mother of two daughters who are only two years apart, I've witnessed my share of teenage drama. While raising boys makes a mother's hair turn gray, daughters make us bald. Raising girls requires a few essential ingredients which I fondly refer to as The Three S's: Sensitivity, Security, and Shotgun Shells. You'll have to make certain sacrifices during this time period, like holding your bladder while your daughter and her besties confiscate the bathroom to take duck face selfies to post on Instagram. You'll need to take advantage of the latest sale on aspirin after listening to Bieber beats all day and One Direction (which will surely make you want to scream and run in the opposite direction).

If your daughters are prepubescent, here are six things you can look forward to as they greet the teen years:

1. You'll save money buying feminine hygiene products in bulk every twenty-eight days. Mothers and daughters often share the same menstruation time during their monthly cycles. This allows the father a free pass on alcohol consumption and spontaneous man cave time. He'll need it after dealing with a bathroom that resembles a hog slaughtering plant or Custer's Last Stand in the trash can. 

2. You'll have a free fashion consultant around the clock at your disposal. Teenage girls will convince you to ditch that sky blue eye shadow you've been wearing since the eighth grade and the eau de mothball parfum grandma gave you last Christmas. Your daughters will also trick you into spending your entire tax return on a new wardrobe which you will never see because they'll “borrow” every bit of it, down to your favorite pair of Jimmy Choos.

3. Forget spending extra money on cable channels featuring reality TV programs. You'll have your own live dramas similar to the cattiness of The Bachelor appearing nightly in your living room. Pour yourself a glass of wine and enjoy the show.

4. Teenage daughters will teach you how to twerk and drop it low with women half your age. You'll discover muscles you never knew existed, but keep a bottle of ibuprofen on the nightstand if you expect to get out of bed in the morning.

5. You'll learn to lock and load when the first boy comes calling.

6. As a child, your daughter will clomp around the house in your high-heeled shoes and pretend to be you. As an adult, she'll fill those shoes and become the woman you’re proud to call your best friend. 



Word of advice: Hide the Jimmy Choos and save the sky blue eye shadow for your granddaughters. You never know when shoulder pads and parachute pants might come back into fashion. 



***This week I was featured on The Sisterwives. One of my first serious posts on loss and grief. You can read it here: http://sisterwivesspeak.com/2014/10/06/the-box/

*This post "Six Good Things About Raising Teenage Girls" originally appeared on In The Powder Room 2013*

60 comments:

  1. You nailed it Marsha... It took me almost 22 years to want another child after raising a daughter, lol (she turned out fabulous). Now I'm doing it again...and I see a few of these traits starting... I have never drank wine, maybe I should take it up.. haha

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    1. I applaud you for getting through the teen years without a single glass of wine. You are far braver than I!!

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  2. I love this. It's got me a little bit emotional, even, remembering growing up and being close to my mom who is now one of the most important people in my life. <3

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    1. I love hearing that, Andrea. Cherish your mum.

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  3. I loved this, especially the fashion consultant part. Not only does my 15 yr old approve my outfits (especially when we go somewhere together) but I am forbidden to go clothes shopping without her.

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    1. So true here as well. I don't go clothes shopping often, but when I do, my girls beg me to take them with me. They are actually pretty good at helping me find stuff!

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  4. Sweet Mother of God, my girls are 10 and 12. Off to buy the shotgun!

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    1. HAHAHA!!! If your girls are as beautiful as you Shannon, you're going to need that shotgun!

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  5. Oh I am so no looking forward to this! My daughter is 4. Yikes!

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    1. Take a deep breath---you still 8-9 years!

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  6. I've only one daughter (now aged 20) but I recognize some of the experiences on the list - I suspect my wife would recognize them all.

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    1. Absolutely! But I'm betting your wife and daughter are becoming best friends as well.

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  7. I've so been here! And now the next generation is coming up. My oldest granddaughter turns twelve soon. Here we go again . . .!

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    1. Oh no! My granddaughter is only 2 1/2 so I still have some time….

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  8. No daughters, but I do have a sister :)

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  9. AW! I just LOVE that you have such a beautiful relationship with your daughters!! I hope and pray I too, can keep that closeness and bond with my own as she enters the TEEN years!!!

    Funny- AND? Precious all at once. :)

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    1. I bet you will, Chris, because you are a FANTASTIC mom!

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  10. Your daughters are beautiful! I have all that to look for in 10+ years.My girls are 18 mo apart. :)

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    1. That's awesome! They'll probably be best friend when they get older. My girls are two years apart and the best of friends!

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  11. Thanks for this insight into the female mind, a topic I know very little about.

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  12. As the mother of three girls this was so spot on

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    1. Thanks, Jo-Anne! With that many girls, you would definitely know!

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  13. I have two sons so I've missed the girl drama - but also the clothes shopping, and best friend. My sister assures me I can share her daughter with her - she's only 11 and the drama has started, so it might take both of us!

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    1. Ahhh she's a tween…yep! They start younger and younger, I swear!

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  14. Your daughters are gorgeous, just like you! I only have one daughter but she has a lot of friends so I hear what you're saying Marcia!

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    1. Awww…thanks, Pinky. I think they are awesome gals--I have been blessed and so have you! :)

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  15. I love teens! I work mainly with teens and college-age students and they are so fun.

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    1. I agree! I'd much rather deal with teens than toddlers!!!

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  16. One of each was enough for me! I can't imagine having as many as you although I had 4 siblings. It is just so much harder now especially with girls.

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    1. It is hard but totally worth it in the end! :)

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  17. This explains so much: why older women can twerk with the best of them, perhaps why the man cave was invented (and alcohol!), why my mom tried hiding her clothes and shoes (to no avail), and why women who spend a lot of time around each other always seem to have a 'disagreement' once a month - about nothing!

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  18. So true! When our daughter was entering her teens, I warned her that there'd probably be some times over the next few years that we wouldn't get along as well, and might not even like each other very much, but thank goodness, I was wrong. Still, seeing a girl through her teen years is a whole lot different than raising boys. Now that some of our grandchildren are in their teens, I'm enjoying watching our kids handle the drama.

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  19. Although I just have one, I get everything you said :)
    #7 When they're out of that teenage stage, they can become some of your best friends.
    @the menstrual schedule...My friend has three teen daughters. Her husband is allowed to go on fishing trips each month...
    Awesome post (as usual,) hot momma!
    <3

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    1. Thanks, Michele! So true how they become our best friends. I LOVE spending time with my girls!

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  20. As the mom of a 17-year old girl, I can soooo relate! Loved your description of the bathroom during "that" time of the month. Wish I could write a blog on teaching my girl to use a tampon, however, that could land me in the Emergency room because she'd kill me!!

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  21. I love this!!!! :) I'm sure my Mom felt the same way raising 3 girls.

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  22. I'm still a fashion consultant to my mom! I think some thing never change. :-)

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    1. I'm glad my girls are---I need all the help I can get!

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  23. So true. My middle daughter always criticizes my fashion. I once caught her digging in my closet for an outfit for "Dress Like a Nerd" Day.

    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com

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  24. Ha, ha, ha! Hope I can roll with it as well as you have. I'm still slightly confused about what a twerk is. If her cycle is going to be anything like mine, the hubbs better be renting a room at a hotel for a week if he wants to survive.

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    1. Google Twerking and you'll see what you're missing….or actually what you are NOT missing out on because once you see it, you may be scarred for life. :)

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  25. In my day - it was Farrah (Fawcett) and Donny Osmond...
    (visiting from the Manic Monday Blog Hop... :D )

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    1. Oh, I remember them well! Andi, what is your blog link? I've been trying to find it so that I can visit you!

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  26. What scares me is my MOTHER emailed me about twerking before even *I* knew what it was! Okay, at my age I'm tragically unhip but still...at her age she's lucky to still HAVE hips! The original ones, anyway...

    Be glad we didn't have the Internet, Facebook, Instagram, etc. back in the olden days because I'm sure the photos in your teenage photo album (whut are those?!?! Ask your mother!) are just as embarrassing as mine are...I was no disco queen, or teenage love goddess, or whatever the hell I thought I was when my brother took those pics. Just imagine if we had this s**t spread all over hte Internet. Oh sure, those duckface selfies look great *now* but twenty years from now when you're daughter's Googling or whatever they'll be doing to find stuff, and they find your silly 2014 ass with that stupid hairstyle and that ridiculous makeup job (look, no matter how gorgeous everyone thinks you are now, you are SO going to regret this in twenty years! Trust me, sez the former teenage Farrah hair chick.

    At least no one has a video of you 'twerking' to, what is it, oh Goddess help us all not Duran Duran!!! - Um, no one DID take a video of you when you were doing that, did they? DID THEY?

    Oh heaven help us all. :)

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    1. All I can say is thank GAWD there were no cell phones back in my day or else I'd be in a crap ton of trouble!!!

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  27. Really Amazing Article. Thanks for Sharing with us.

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  28. Hi Marcia! I'd pay good money to see you twerk! I thought that was a pretty new phenom, but that just shows how old I am. Love the photos of your girls with you. They are just lovely young women, who were kind enough to entertain you in their youth, and will be just as kind when considering what old people's home they need to commit you to...hmmm..better be nice to them!
    Have a great day :)
    Ceil

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    1. You are so correct, Ceil. I'll be depending on them to change my adult diapers…..

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  29. I will keep this all in mind when my daughter is a teenager!

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    1. Maybe pin it to your refrigerator, hahaha!

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  30. This is great. I hadn't considered the horrors of our bathroom garbage can of the future. I guess diapers aren't so bad after all?? Mine are 2 years apart, one very emotional and one VERY physical 2 yr old. They're exhausting, but the teenage BOY is definitely the most painful! I can't even imagine having TWO teenage girls at once. It's not going to be pretty! But it's probably going to be pretty funny.

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    1. They supply an endless amount of blog fodder!

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