Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Wacky Wednesday Writer Guest Post by: Dim Sum and Doughnuts

     My new WWW guest today is Robyn Coden of Dim Sum and Doughnuts! Robyn's humorous blog focuses on her funny family life with a husband and two daughters at their summer camp in Northern Michigan.  What I love about her blog is that each post is written in a straight forward manner. Robyn isn't afraid to tell it like it is. When I read her blog, I feel like I'm right there with her---two friends meeting for coffee and chatting about our crazy, busy lives.

     While many of Robyn's blogs are on the humorous side, she has also tackled some controversial topics and written several posts that tug at the heart strings. I like that she hosts "Mailbag Mondays" with answers to questions that are sent in and opened for discussion on her blog. Very cool idea. I admire the versatility of her writing and I think you will, too. Please welcome Robyn to Meno Mama's site today with lots of comment love!


When I decided to do a guest post for Menopausal Mom back in July, Marcia said her first available slot would be October 15th. I thought to myself: “October?? That’s in 3 months! I’m ready now!” But then, maybe to make me feel better, she informed me that October 15th is not only my guest post day, but also her birthday.
I didn’t get Marcia a card, but if I did, this is what it would say:

Dear Marcia,

I’m super happy that you’re able to get a whole blog out of the menopause thing because from where I’m standing, so far it pretty much SUCKS.
Happy Birthday!!!

Ever since the day Marcia gave me my date, new and BAD things have been happening to my body. The changes are not life threatening, and they’re probably normal, but I wasn’t ready for them and they’re getting harder and harder to ignore. And it’s not just me. My friends are starting to complain that they, too, are going through the same things, and they insist it’s “Pre-Menopause.”

Here are some things about “Pre-Menopause” that I’m not loving so far:

The front runners, of course, are the slowing metabolism, the grey hair, the irregular periods, the sprouting of facial lines and wrinkles, and the aching joints. Then there's the HUGE and painful cystic zit that only shows up right before something important (and always in the same place), the waking up in the middle of the night, tossing and turning for at least 2 hours... and the embarrassingly elaborate routine that I must go through every morning in order to “make a poopie!”

Some of those things started in my late 30’s (now it’s just about damage control), but new stuff keeps coming! Here are some of the things I’ve noticed since I got into my 40‘s:

1. My eyebrows are thinning. It seems every magazine I read lately says something about how too-thin eyebrows make you look older. I, admittedly, was obsessed with plucking for many years, so my brow thinness is most likely my fault. I used to check my brows every day and if there was even one out of place, it was OUT.

I am now in “Plucking Recovery” (it’s been 3 weeks since my last pluck) and I’m kicking myself for all the damage I did. I wish I'd put the tweezers down awhile ago because at this point (and this age), they’re not filling in so fast, if ever.

2. I wake up sweating my ass off. Some mornings I wake up and my hair is all wet, matted and curly. I don’t even have curly hair! It’s crazy. During the summer, I was blaming it on the heat and yes, since the weather has gotten cooler, it hasn’t been happening as often. But a friend of mine told me the other day that it happens to her, so I have to wonder: Was it the summer heat or is my body starting to go through something? Is this a “THING” now? Please, no.

3. I’m always tired. In fact, a few weeks ago, I went to see an Endocrynologist (a hormone doctor) about it. I had never even heard of an Endocrynologist! I don‘t even know how to spell “Endocrynologist!” But I went, and while I was getting blood taken, I was telling the blood-taker lady that I have been so tired lately--- that it’s probably because I’m in my 40’s and I have little kids. She got all up in my face telling me that I’m probably perimenopausal. (I had never heard thatword before either, and I remember being annoyed when she used it because it sounded like she was trying to be fancy.)

She said, “You’re having night sweats? You need to get a fan, immediately!” I was right there with her, vehemently nodding my head because YES, she was so right!! I did need to get a fan!! But she wasn’t done. She went on to tell me that I should also get ready for unexplainable, emotional outbursts---that even though I’m a sugar addict, I shouldn’t eat ANY more sugar EVER because it only ignites the hormones. As if that wasn’t enough (it was), she told me that when I eventually DO go through actual menopause, I shouldn’t even CONSIDER hormone replacements because it can cause cancer…..her friend got cancer and I will get cancer. I thought, How in the hell did “Get a fan!” segue into“Don’t get hormone replacements because you will get cancer!!”

ARGH!!! Let me go, blood-taker!!

The thing is, even though many of the changes that come with age are rough, it’s not all bad. As I have gotten older, I have found that when some things get worse, other things get better. I no longer get bothered by things that would have, once upon a time, consumed me---and many, many things I used to care about are no longer a concern. There is something very “freeing” about that. I do believe that comes with age and I’m grateful for it.

It’s truly all about the balance, and on this day, Marcia Kester Doyle, your birthday, you should be recognized and acknowledged for finding that balance and sharing it with others. Getting older is hard on all of us, but you make it little less daunting and a lot more fun.

Happy, Happy Birthday!!

XOXO Robyn

Robyn Coden is a blogger, cake-eater and mistake-maker. Robyn is the author of Dim Sum and Doughnuts, a blog dedicated to her two young daughters. Dim Sum and Doughnuts focuses on parenting, growing up and Robyn’s life with her husband and children at their summer camp in Northern Michigan. You never know what you’re going to get with Robyn—sometimes controversial, sometimes comedic, but always a voice that’s powerfully honest and entertaining. She’s the real deal. Check her out and see for


  1. I remember when I had my first hot flash and night sweats... I wan not pleased... lol

    I own a fan and an air conditioner... I go from snuggled in blankets to taking everything off to cool off... I don't think women who have gone before us say it like it is... Marcia does though and she says it funny like you said..

    1. Launna, yes!! When I pull my sheets for laundry day, there are always a bunch of slipper socks at the foot of the bed because I kick them off in the middle of the night when I'm sweating my ass off!!! Thank you for your comment. Hope you have a flash-free day!

  2. Brings back less than fond memories of when my wife went through the change. But this is all written wonderfully and humorously.

    1. Stephen Hayes, you are my fave!! I love that you not only got through it but also left a comment. You are so cool!! Thank you!!!

  3. This is so familiar. Are you sure you are not in my brain?

    Great post, thank you! Happy birthday Marcia! :-D

    1. Autism Mom, I just want to know if you're getting a zit on your chin because I am and if you are too...well, then we are premenopausal soul sisters! Thank you so much for your comment. Made my night.

  4. I remember my first hot flush as well I was in the car looking for a parking spot and it was the middle of winter and I had to wind the windows down I was that hot and a couple of minutes later I had to wind it up again.

    1. YES! That;s exactly what it's like---sweaty one moment, then chilled the next!

  5. Menopause isn't for wussies...that's for sure. I am so much NOT a fan of the hot flashes..but my least favorite part is the spontaneous tears. OVER EVERYTHING.

    That is so much not me. Until now.

    1. Same here---I seldom cried. Now I see a Humanes Society commercial and I bust into tears!

  6. All too true! (I remain in denial about the sugar) my eyebrows seem to be fleeing my face, where are they off to? I was never a big plucker.
    Happy birthday Marcia and thanks for introcucing me to another funny writer!



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