I love Sharon's blog---her writing is superb and the topics she shares resonate with me. We're close in age, we've been married to our spouses almost the same amount of time and we both have adult children. Her experiences echo my own in many ways, and I hope more than anything that I'll get to meet Sharon one day. She has always been so kind and supportive of Menopausal Mother by sharing links and featuring my posts on Midlife Boulevard. I'm very appreciative of all that she has done and it is truly an honor to be able to call this lovely, talented woman my friend. Please welcome Sharon to Meno Mama's site today with lots of love and shares! Thanks!
"What Not to Wear"---the Husband Edition
Being empty-nesters, there’s often a lot of free time on the weekends. Sometimes my husband and I get a little lazy about doing anything that involves more than walking the dog, reading the paper or changing the channel, but every so often one of us will feel inspired to want to do something a little more interesting than walking the aisles at Costco/Ralphs/Target. This past weekend it was my husband who decided to suggest something a little different.
“Let’s go to Fashion Island,” he said.
For those of you that aren’t familiar with it, Fashion Island is a lovely outdoor shopping area in Newport Beach, California with stores like Neiman Marcus, Bloomingdales, Nordstrom and more. It’s a dog-friendly place, where four-legged friends are welcome in all the stores. It’s a great place to wander around on a Saturday, and I thought it was especially generous of my husband to think of it, as he’s not a big fan of shopping in general or with me in particular. Of course I agreed, but there was one small problem.
“Are you going to wear that?” I asked him.
My darling husband looked a little indignant at my question, but let me assure you, it needed to be asked. My husband is a pretty good-looking guy who still has all his hair (at times an irritant to many of our more shiny-domed friends), and most of the time he’s quite well dressed. However on this particular morning, he was wearing the following: a pair of white shorts (remember, it’s February), a black shirt, and a blue University of Arizona sweatshirt (go Wildcats!). On his feet were the ubiquitous running shoes, footwear choice of middle-aged men everywhere. Now, if we were just running errands and grabbing a bite to eat, I wouldn’t care. At all. But I looked pretty well put-together, and I thought my husband might want to, also.
After a few huffs and puffs, he went to change. And here is what he put on: Same white shorts, same black shirt, but now he had traded the sweatshirt for his favorite sweater: grey wool, high collared and sort of schlumpy – it makes me itch just to look at it. If we lived in his native Wisconsin, it would have been perfect (minus the white shorts), but we live in sunny Southern California, so…
I couldn’t help myself, and told him to change again. And of course he was insulted – who could blame him? But I asked him:
“Would you want me to go out with you in my sweats and running shoes?”
This time, at his irritated insistence, I went with him to his closet to help him pick out his outfit.
My husband has a fairly extensive collection of cashmere sweaters. His mother has given him one for Christmas pretty much every year since we’ve been married. So of course that’s what I suggested. And though I wasn’t thrilled with the dad jeans he put on, I let that go – and the running shoes, too. He had made an effort, and I really, really appreciated it.
As we headed out the door, I looked over at my handsome, well-dressed husband and said, “Let’s just go to Costco and then get some lunch. You hate shopping.”
Needless to say, he was the best dressed guy at Costco that day.
BIO:
Sharon Greenthal blogs at Empty House Full Mind, and is a managing partner at Midlife Boulevard, the online magazine for midlife women. She is a contributor to Huffington Post, Purple Clover and Scary Mommy. She has a daughter, 24 and a son, 22. Sharon lives in Los Alamitos, CA with her husband and their perfect dog, Lambeau.
Love, love your post, it hits so close to home !! Thanks for sharing :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, so glad you enjoyed it.
DeleteI swear I heard this same conversation at my parents house. My mom has been after my dad for his clothes for at least 20 years.
ReplyDeleteI believe it! My dad was a great dresser, but so many men get stuck in a rut.
DeleteI can so relate! And I'll bet he WAS the best dressed guy at Costco. Actually, my husband likes buying casual clothes at Costco. I must admit that he got a really cool casual jacket whose quality was so high it shocked me, but I really do have to supervise most purchases.
ReplyDeleteMy husband buys a lot of his clothes at Costco!
DeleteSharon you are signing my song! I have sort of given up on my beloved, his idea of dressing for the weekends is, shall we say, on the comfortable side. (and that is being generous)! So nice to know I'm not alone. And when you think of it there are worst traits for a man to have. One time I did threaten to go out of the house with my hair in a towel if he didn't change! Lol!
ReplyDeleteYes there are far worse traits, which is why I can poke fun at him ;) Fortunately he's a good sport.
DeleteBwaha! From Fashion Island to Cosco. (I'm from Cypress and have been to FI before.) I can't believe you managed to get him to change clothes. My husband wouldn't have been so accommodating. You were very kind to cut him a break in the end.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, it's a lot more fun to shop by myself - he just gets bored so easily!
DeleteFun read! My ex was never a spiffy dresser but his current wife has definitely "upgraded" his look. Guess you've just got to find -- and listen to -- the right wife!
ReplyDeleteMy husband has not changed his style in 25 years, except to give up his pleated khakis for flat-front, and only because I threw out all the pleated ones.
DeleteGreat Sharon. Just last weekend hubby and I went to a friend's for dinner. Yes, it was a very casual, last-minute get together. However, my, also nice looking hubby, wore those shinny basketball shorts, an old t-shirt, old man sneakers and white crew socks. Don't ask me why I didn't notice this lovely outfit until we got there. OY!
ReplyDeleteThose old t-shirts are the worst...and my husband has quite a collection.
DeleteBahahaha! It's amazing what our husband's put up with, isn't it?? But we do return the favor, in full. ;)
ReplyDeleteYes, we do don't we!
DeleteHAHHAHA...that sounds SO VERY familiar...
ReplyDeleteAwesome article. Your writing skills are great and I am just loving to explore your blog for more and more. This quick start guide is an impressive one and I have learnt much from it. Please keep writing rocking content :)
ReplyDeleteLove this! I can't tell you how many times this has happen in my home.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Handsome & I were at Fashion Island on Saturday.
Don't you just love Fashion Island? It's such pretty...
DeleteWhat?! No socks with sandals?!
ReplyDeleteI just close my eyes and meekly follow my Husby out the door . . . Sigh.
No, no socks with sandals - thankfully!
DeleteHe started out better dressed than I usually am.
ReplyDeleteLOL that's pretty funny!
DeleteI get the same look from my guys when I question their wardrobe selection...somehow the addition of a hoodie seems to be their solution! lol
ReplyDeleteAll my son wore for years were basketball shorts. Drove me crazy!!
DeleteOh my this could be me and Tim honestly the man has no fashion sense and at times I am embarrassed to be seen with him as he is dressed like a Windalian or bogan ok say that Jo-Anne in words these people will understand he is dressed like something the cat dragged in does that help
ReplyDeletePriceless! Boy, if that doesn't sound familiar, especially because my hubby is color blind. I had to gently steer him to more color-coordinated matches when he was still working, but since he retired. we both dress casually most of the time.
ReplyDeleteI love fashion, it was my career - and I'm married to a man with NO fashion sense. And yes, he will try to go out with socks and sandals, but I draw the line there. Very funny post!
ReplyDeleteI must confess: my wife buys all my clothes and, if we are going out together, she dictates what I wear. But I don't mind, as her dress sense is much better than mine, and I hate shopping for anything other than books, music CDs and toys. So, as I'm sure you can see, your post resonated with me.
ReplyDeleteI can relate! My husband is like Tim Gunn with me, and then when I try to give him a heads up, it's met with some trepidation, but sometimes I end up winning. I keep telling him to stop tucking. He's a compulsive tucker. lol
ReplyDeleteThat's an ongoing debate - tuck or not tuck? Luckily my husband listens to me about that.
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