Friday, November 21, 2014

Fly On The Wall In A Crazy House

Welcome to another edition of Fly On The wall Group Posts! Today, sixteen courageous bloggers are inviting you into their homes for a glimpse of what goes on behind closed doors.

The fly that has been buzzing around my crazy household this month has seen me go through a roller coaster of emotions---anxiety, fear, relief and elation as the editing process on my forthcoming book, "Who Stole My Spandex?" reached the final stage of completion. A week ago, I left my "baby" in the very capable hands of my publisher. Since that day, the fly has witnessed my nail biting habit in full swing, along with me staring blankly at the computer screen. Yes, the anticipation is killing me. Mark your calendars, folks. Black Friday, Nov. 28 is LAUNCH DAY!

I've been too nervous lately to be funny, but as always, I can rely on my family for humorous blog fodder. Here's what the fly overheard in my crazy house recently:



"We're hopelessly lost. I think my GPS is drunk."

"I would only consider plastic surgery if the doctors could put my food baby belly on my butt. They could call the procedure a 'bellybottomy'."


"Ahhhh…the innocence of youth….when a two-year-old tries to put a dirty toilet plunger in her mouth."

"I'm going to cut you off from the wine now, because nobody sings 'This Land is My Land' or 'Leavin' On A Jet Plane' when they're sober."

"What the heck is this Farmers.com site I keep hearing about?"
"It's a site for lonely dairy cows looking for true love."

"I'm awake, but if you're expecting bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, go catch a squirrel."

"You're about to exceed the limits of my Prozac."

"A meal without wine is called breakfast."

"My belt, socks and baseball cap are black. My shirt and my pants are also black. NOW do I look thinner?"

"Whoever stole all of my leftover chicken salad from the fridge is a Motherclucker!"

"I just heard a commercial from a place called Harbour House for the Blind, and they're looking for used car donations. Isn't that an oxymoron…. cars for the blind?"

"I can't stop spilling beer into my mouth."

"What are you--the World Pug Herding Champion"?

"If you keep weary my socks, then I'm going to start wearing your underwear."

"I just burped and farted at the same time. It's called a 'Bart'."

"I know how I can help you sell your book. I'm going to wear an owl costume, stand by the highway with a bag of books and yell, "Whoo! Whoo! Who hasn't read this book?"


You heard the owl, folks. Buy the book on Amazon November 28th! WHOO WHOO!


Buzz around, see what you think, then click on these links for a peek into some other homes:

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                          Baking In A Tornado
http://www.therowdybaker.com                                  The Rowdy Baker
http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                                Just A Little Nutty
http://themomisodes.com                                          The Momisodes
http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade
http://thesadderbutwisergirl.com                                   The Sadder But Wiser Girl
http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home
http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                        Stacy Sews and Schools
http://www.menopausalmom.com/                          Menopausal Mother
http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                                 Battered Hope
http://dinoheromommy.com/                         Dinosaur Superhero Mommy
http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                   Someone Else’s Genius 
http://www.crumpetsandbollocks.com                     Crumpets and Bollocks
http://www.juiceboxconfession.com                          Juicebox Confession
http://www.risanye.com                                              Risa Nye
http://www.gomamao.com                                    Go Mamma O

              

36 comments:

  1. Marcia, your family certainly picked up the humor slack this month! I'm pretty sure a couple of those funny moments were yours too. And just for the record, I'm stealing (and adapting) that line: "I can't stop spilling wine into my mouth!" Can't wait for your book :)

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    1. They truly are my inspiration. So happy to hear that you'll be buying my book! Thank you, Lorinda!

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  2. Behind closed doors at my house would be...well, I would fear sharing them! Hilarious post!

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    1. Perhaps we can entice you to join a Fly On The Wall group posting, huh?

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  3. Hi Marcia! What a darling photo of you and your husband, I love it! Hopefully your nails will survive the wait to launch day? At least you have a marketing plan, that whole owl thing sounds innovative! Lol!
    Hang in there my friend, you're gonna make it. In the meantime, have some plastic surgery. Bellybottomy anyone??
    Ceil

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    1. I could really use that bellybottomy before I start my book signing tour in December---it's gonna be scary meeting everyone in real life, hahaha!

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  4. I can't...each one is funnier than the other...LOLOL...what a wonderfully crazy family, so blessed.

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    1. Thank you so much, Karen. I really do feel blessed to have such a crazy, loving family!

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  5. Or a Furp! I love your family! Can't talk now. I have a car to donate, a squirrel to catch and Farmers.com to investigate. (I have a couple of four-footed friends in need of company.)

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    1. I LOVE "FURP"!!!! Hey, let me know what you find out on that Farmers. com site---my chinchillas could use some companions as well!

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  6. OMG!!!! I am dying laughing here!!!!! HILARIOUS as always!!!!!

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    1. You know there is NEVER a dull most in the Doyle house! My book pretty much spills the beans on EVERYTHING ---no secrets are safe!

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  7. LOVE the Prozac comment, it's the story of my life. We need to have t-shirts made.

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  8. At least it wasn't a BurpSnart.

    Congrats on the book!!

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  9. I wish I was a fly on your wall just for one day. "A meal without wine is breakfast!" I'm so using that :)

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  10. I look forward to this every month. Always makes me laugh - love your family :)!

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  11. So so so excited for your book, Marcia and as always, the stuff your family says makes me want to come hang out over there!! Also, did it work - the all black thing making thinner looking? Maybe my problem with that trick was not doing the black belt and socks? :)

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    1. I ONLY wear black….at all times….I look like I'm in mourning 24/7

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  12. Lol! This is my favorite: "I'm going to cut you off from the wine now, because nobody sings 'This Land is My Land' or 'Leavin' On A Jet Plane' when they're sober."

    Yay for your book! Can't wait!

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    1. I do have a problem with singing 60's songs after too many glasses of wine on a Saturday night...

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  13. So funny! It's good to know that there are other crazy households out there too! Not just me.

    Congrats on the book!

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    1. Thanks, Phil! I'm betting your household could rival mine when it comes to crazy….

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  14. Oh Marcia... hilarious as always ... I love this line... "I'm going to cut you off from the wine now, because nobody sings 'This Land is My Land' or 'Leavin' On A Jet Plane' when they're sober."... was this you? If this was you, I want to drink and sing with you... lol

    Have a great week and save some of those nails :)

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    1. Yes…..this was me….When I drink a wee bit too much, I start singing old songs from my childhood and what I remember from my Sunday school choir days…..

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  15. Thanks for the laugh this morning a bloody funny post

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    1. Ha-Ha! Glad I brought a smile to your morning, Jo-Anne!

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  16. I loved all the little tidbits -- too many to cut and paste to comment but one of my faves is My belt, socks and baseball cap are black. My shirt and my pants are also black. NOW do I look thinner?". I remember the feeling about the day my book launched -- just think, next year at this time, it will be history! Good luck - I'll be watching for it on Amazon.

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    1. Ohhh I cannot wait for it to be over. Does that sound bad? It has been so stressful, but of course, I want it to sell well. Only time will tell...

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  17. Motherclucker? Oh, my. But I've been called worse.

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    1. Me too, but I couldn't repeat it all here….

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  18. Never a dull moment in your abode. And I used to use the threat about "wearing your underpants" with my own son! And I love the 'a meal without wine is called breakfast' quip - whoever said that shares my mindset.

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    1. That would be me! I told you we think too much alike now, didn't I?

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