You Mad, Bro?
What do we do as soon as our babies are
born? We start talking to them. We
wait anxiously to hear ‘mama’ or
‘dada’. Usually, we hear ‘dada’ first,
don’t we? Dad gets to brag to
everyone ‘Junior said dada first’! Even
though most babies make dadadada or
babababa sounds before speaking their
first words.
The words eventually come and then flow
from their sticky little mouths
without end. A torrent of words begin
when they wake up and don’t stop
until they pass out. In fact, when they
are toddlers and you don’t hear a
steady stream of words, then something
off limits is being eaten or broken
or drawn on.
My baby boy is 16 years old and as I
watch him grow into adulthood, I can’t
help but ask myself a question.
What happened to my son’s
vocabulary?
I hate to brag (that’s only kind of
true), but my youngest child has been scary smart since he was
little. He said his first word at 7 months and had a vocabulary of
about 30 words by the time he was 10 months old. He began reading at
age three and read Animal Farm when he was in Kindergarten.
That last thing? Yeah, when I saw him
reading Animal Farm, I thought I’m sure he’s reading the words,
but he doesn’t get it. I asked him what he thought about the book
and his response was: Pretty sure the pigs are going to take over.
Like I said, scary smart.
His vocabulary was out of this world.
He loved words. He loved learning new words. And he never ever EVER
stopped talking. I would give my left arm to hear my baby boy ask me
a million questions in his four year old voice now, but back then?
The questions grew tiring.
I remember one day, when he was around
4 years old, telling him that he was going to use up all his words.
He said ‘What? What does that mean”? I told him that people only
had so many words they could say and if they used them all up, when
they got old, they wouldn’t be able to talk anymore. He looked at
me and said “Mom, that’s preposterous”.
He wasn’t buying that multi-syllable
words counted as two words in the total count, either.
We lived in a small Ohio town when my
baby boy was four years old. We didn’t go anywhere without running
into someone we knew. We were out for dinner one evening. I had a
particularly rough day at work that day, dealing with a grumpy boss.
Who also happened to be having dinner at the same restaurant with his
wife.
My husband and I were friends with my
boss and his wife and my son had been to their house a number of
times. My son listened to me complain about my rotten day during
dinner and how my boss could be a real douche when he was in a bad
mood. Then, as we were leaving, we ran into my boss.
My son looked very sternly at my boss
and told him that he was supercilious. My boss, who I could see was
trying to not laugh, asked my son what supercilious meant. The boy
looks at him and says dismissively ‘It means you think you’re
better than everyone else’. Then, he asked him if we could go to
his house and play Xbox.
He’s 16 now and he’s still wicked
smart. But his vocabulary, well, it was better when he was 4. Mostly,
he communicates in grunts and intermittent smells.
The one thing he says to me more than
anything else is ‘You mad, bro’? Every time he says the phrase, I
roll my eyes a little harder. Pretty soon I’m going to roll them
hard enough to time travel. When I do, I’m going to go back in
time, to when he was 4 and listen to him ask as many questions as he
wants.
I remember when he couldn’t wait to
see me when I came home from work. Now, when I call him, he answers
with an annoyed “What”? I understand the ‘what’ just fine,
but if I’m talking to him on the phone, it’s like listening to
the adults talk on Charlie Brown. I’m not completely sure
about this, but I think teenage boys stuff their mouths with marbles
or cotton balls before speaking on cell phones. I think it’s
punishment for parents for calling them instead of texting.
I understand what is happening, he is
growing up and separating himself from us. His vocabulary is changing
from learning to live to learning to leave. Sure, the thought makes
me sad, but I am proud of the man he's becoming. He's quick-witted,
kind, and can be sarcastic. He’s intelligent and well read. I’m
sure he will suffer the setbacks that most young adults do. There
will be some lessons he will learn the hard way. He’ll probably
have at least one broken heart. But I’m not afraid for him. He’s
going to be fine.
I’m sure there will come a day when I
would give my left arm to hear ‘you mad, bro’?
BIO:
Michelle Poston Combs is a blogger
who lives in the Midwest with her
husband and her youngest son. She is
at the precipice of learning to live
with an empty nest which she finds
both terrifying and exhilarating.
Her blog, Rubber
Shoes In Hell is where she writes about topics
ranging from awkward conversations with strangers to learning how to
overcome being an adult child of a narcissist. Michelle has appeared
on numerous blogs as a guest writer, including The
Huffington Post. She programs
computers to pay the bills and counters this soul sucking
endeavor by writing her observations
on life, menopause, anxiety and marriage
twitter: https://twitter.com/RageMichelle
This was touching and funny at the same time... It is so true though... Since I have one daughter all grown up and a younger one at home... I try to remember how quick it goes and enjoy the time I have with her... before she becomes a teen... ;)
ReplyDeleteIt flies, right? We have three adult children. Joey is very nearly like an only child as his next closest sibling in age is 11 years older than he is. I do appreciate my time with him and I am sad that it's running short...but I'm also kind of looking forward to finding out what it's going to be like without a kid in the house...because at this point, I've forgotten.
DeleteVery Helpful Article for every Blogger, Thanks for Share.
ReplyDeleteI hate the grunting phase. It only passed with my oldest when he moved into his own place. Even then I think it's only because he can't escape into his bedroom anymore that there is real conversation again.
ReplyDeleteThis is so true. My adult son, who barely spoke in his teens, calls me every day. Just to CHAT. It's amazing.
DeleteAnd the older we get, the faster time speeds by, it seems!
ReplyDeleteRight? I can't believe how quickly it's passing.
DeleteAh, the age where, "Because I said so." No longer works.
ReplyDeleteGreat post
Thank you! And exactly...because I said so really doesn't work anymore. Good thing he's mostly reasonable.
DeleteHi Michelle! What a lovely story of your relationship with your boy with mad skills in the vocab department. It does seem like our kids can't wait to talk, then can't wait to hold back on us moms. Erg. Just when their lives get a little more hidden, they clam up!
ReplyDeleteI'm sure your son will someday do a big 'reveal' and start talking again.Won't that be fun? In the meantime, I always prayed that my son not do anything too stupid. Hopefully those prayers were answered, because he's sure not going to tell me about it!
Nice to meet you today :)
Ceil
Nice to meet you, too! I really can't complain..he's the youngest out of 4 kids and he is definitely more forthcoming that the older ones were. Still...he does speak the language of a teen.
DeleteGreat meeting you, Michelle. Loved reading this about you and your teen. You'll both survive just fine :)
ReplyDeleteGreat to meet you, too! And we will survive. I survived his big brother which pretty much means I can survive ANYTHING.
DeleteMichelle has really tapped into the young male mentality. Our boy was much the same; he worked on a single run-on sentence from the age of four to seven. Now he doesn't say much.
ReplyDeleteSingle run on sentence. HAHAHAH..that's it PERFECTLY!
DeleteAh yes, and then they turn a corner and call you and won't let you get a word in edgewise....oh wait, that is my story! great having Michelle here. Big fan. big big fan.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much!! You gave me a big smile, which is nice..because I'm at work and I don't smile a whole lot here.
DeleteThen one day he'll be 22 and he won't stop talking about his job and you'll wonder "who is THIS person???" The changes are breathtaking.
ReplyDeleteHaha..yep. His brother is 27 and I get daily updates on how his job is going.
DeleteMichelle, this was fantastic and so right on! My son is 20 and we've had these moments - a lot of them! Thanks Marcia for sharing this awesomeness with us!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Stephanie! And thanks for sharing this post on facebook!
DeleteOh yeah teenage boys communicate with grunts and shrugs and sometimes a roll of the eyes..........
ReplyDeleteteenage girls communicate with slams of the door, cupboards and anything else they can find to slam and storming down the hall to their bedroom............... oh such fun times
And flouncing..lot's of flouncing. I remember when my stepddaughter was in high school, her pointedly not speaking to me for a month. That was 10 years ago and I still have no idea what I did.
DeleteI get there faster and faster every day! The day my son asks me "You mad, bro?'....I'm calling you! I already get a pretty steady attitude from my daughter but my son is my baby and still thinks I hung the moon. He's ten. How long do I have??
ReplyDeleteHmmmm...I'm going to give you four or five years...and you can get my number any time.
ReplyDeleteAs the mother of two teenage boys, I can so relate. Why do they insist on calling me "dude"?
ReplyDeleteWhat an enjoyable read! My only son is 24 now but I can truly identify with the teenage grunting (not to mention the frequent emissions of bad odors!).
ReplyDeleteGreat post! How well I remember those days, but mostly with my brother back in the '50s. It was like pulling teeth to get him to say anything beyond a grunt. My kids took after me, and hardly ever shut up, no matter what their age. Now they're dealing with their own teenagers, who are more interested in communicating via text message than with their mouths.
ReplyDeleteMine are teenage girls. Lots of 'swag' 'sweg' and 'bae' run around my house a lot. Provided they still say please and thank you, I'll let the swag, sweg and bae slide. I'm not mad, bro.
ReplyDeleteMy son will be 13 in March. I hope he'll still talk properly. My main thing is to make sure he knows how to use the proper your and you're when typing online.
ReplyDeleteHahahah...you cracked me up with the 'supercilious' word. Your son is really smart. My son is 11 and in pre-teens. He still talks enough though. May be your post will make me ready for the next phase. But I can already visualise it with my 5 yr old daughter who speaks a lot :) Enjoyed reading you, Michelle.
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ReplyDeleteAnimal Farm at FOUR?!?!?!?! I didn't read it until I was in my mid-twenties. I'm gonna try that "use up all your words" thing on my son who talks entirely too much. I always say some day I'm going to miss someone pounding on the bathroom door while I'm in the shower, but somehow I don't think so. My daughter, who's a bit younger than your son, always says "What up, brah?" & that's about all she ever says. Can.Not.Stand.It.
ReplyDelete