Wacky Wednesday Writers Guest Post By: Mother Of Imperfection
I am so fortunate to have the opportunity to introduce you to today's remarkably talented Wacky Wednesday Writer, Sandy Ramsey of Mother Of Imperfection! What I love about Sandy's writing is that she's not just another "niche" blogger. She writes on a wide variety of topics on her blog---some humorous, some poignant and many that are thought-provoking and informative. I've gotten to know Sandy through several Facebook writer groups that we both belong to and I have to say---she has a kind heart and a giving spirit. She's happy to help promote her fellow bloggers and is always there to offer support when needed. Even better, Sandy and I share the whole midlife mayhem thing, so it's always fun to compare thoughts on perimenopause with her though humor. Her post today had me in stitches because ohhhh boy, can I relate!
Please welcome Sandy to Meno Mama's site today with lots of comment love!
TIME OUT FOR BIG BOOBS
Today I put my big boobs in time out.
Well, actually I went for my annual mammogram which is very, very important. But let's be honest. It's not exactly the most pleasant of experiences.
Since hitting midlife and perimenopause, I am convinced my boobs have been on a mission to try to destroy me. While I appreciate the fact that they haven't headed too far south there are a few things that make me think that being squished between two metal plates might be just what they deserved.
I've put on a little weight in the last couple of years and while a good percentage of it went to my butt, my girlie friends seem to have agreed to carry their fair share. Some women might jump up and down at the thought of gaining some extra boobage but if I were to do that there is a fairly good chance I would knock myself clean out.
The girls are making shopping a little more difficult. It's an awful, awful thing to head into a dressing room with the hot little dress that would look amazing at the company Christmas party. The dress goes on and with a little turn from side to side, I realize with the addition of some Spanx™ I would look pretty damn good. Then it's time to take it off. And it's stuck. Around the boobs. What the heck? It went over them just fine. Why won't it come out from under and over again???? Nothing is worse than having to make the sweaty walk of shame out of the dressing room.
I know I should have picked that dress up off of the floor but to hell with it.
I used to run. My knees aren't what they used to be, nor is my stamina. Not long ago I did try to start running again and realized that no sports bra in the world is going to keep these babies from slamming up and down like sledgehammers. I tried the sports bra with the running tank with a built in bra together but found it extremely difficult to breath. So now I ride a bike. As long as I don't hit any bumps, it's all good.
I won't even get started on the built in bra thing. I won't live long enough to get through the list of all that is wrong with those things.
I remember seeing the "mom bras" in the laundry when I was a younger and my mom was in her forties. I just shook my head and said, "No way, no how!" Until those cute little bras started leaving skinny little indentations in my shoulders. While shopping for new ones, I actually felt myself salivate at the thick, padded straps of the full figured bras but still refused to give in. Until the day I did and the thick, padded straps cover the permanent grooves from the pretty bras quite nicely.
Then there's the under the boob sweat. Just....ew.
I will say that I have found out what I consider to be the third best feeling in the whole wide world. Taking my bra off at the end of the day and freeing the wild beasts within. Yes, indeed. Only two things beat it....a good foot massage and a good, hard.......sneeze.
Yeah. I was just kidding....that too.
Sandy is a wife/mom/cheerleader/chauffeur/tutor/referee/psychologist/nurse to five kids: hers, his, and theirs. When she’s not on a sports field or court of some sort (or in the laundry room), she can be found writing about life in its sordid reality atMother of Imperfection.